Help me understand

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First, I live somewhere near Anoka, Minnesota. Second, thanks for everyone that has been willing to explain and answer my questions, I really do appriciate it and it does make a lot more sense. For some reason it makes it easier to understand when ya hear it from multiple people. The very last comment before this post asks why my boyfriend shouldn't be able to protect himself from my crazy x while we are together and I want to make it clear than I in NO WAY said that he shouldn't or can't and I want him to be able to defend himself. As I said before I just didn't understand why parting with a firearm for a day or an hour in specific places would cause someone to be so uncomfortable. And I do realize that crazy people can show up at any point in time. I was no trying to anger anyone at alland I hope you all know that I support you all very much. I've always been for and supported home defense and this carry thing is just new to me so I am only trying to collect information and understanding.

I do understand a lot of things better now because of all you answering my questions, so thank you!! Someone said in an earlier post that where we live may be particularly hostile when it comes to open carriers and I think that's slightly true where we live. He has had several people approach him and been thrown around by cops who don't know the law. Carry is pretty uncommon here and openly carrying is even more uncommon. Besides my boyfriend I havn't seen a single person carrying in any of the places that I've been in my entire life (besides police officers).

So again, thanks for all the advice/explainations. Lots of you had great things to say and most of you seem to be great at educating the curious =) Much appriciation!!

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TTcrunchberry wrote:

As I said before I just didn't understand why parting with a firearm for a day or an hour in specific places would cause someone to be so uncomfortable. And I do realize that crazy people can show up at any point in time.

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The second underlined part is the answer to the first.

That, and the fact that people who are out to harm you may be able to wait until you are in a place or situation where they know or believe they can cause you pain without anyone being able to stop them. Evil is not the same as stupid.

I hope that is understandable.

(Oh, and by the way, unless you stop each person you pass and ask if they are carrying a gun, you really don't know how common that is. Concealed means people can't see it.
I'd wager there are FAR more armed people around you than you imagine.)

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TTcrunchberry wrote:

How would you suggest I ask in a better way that won't provoke his defences??

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Don't ask anymore! You already have his answer. Why are you still pushing that button?

Be supportive, complimentary and positive. Take the pressure off.

We encourage obeying all laws at all times. I do NOT go where I cannot legally carry if at all within my control.

It is not paranoia, but quietly, responsibly being prepared for the 1 time in a million.

Yata hey

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Grapeshot wrote:

TTcrunchberry wrote:

How would you suggest I ask in a better way that won't provoke his defences??

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Don't ask anymore!  You already have his answer.  Why are you still pushing that button?
 
Be supportive, complimentary and positive.  Take the pressure off.

We encourage obeying all laws at all times.  I do NOT go where I cannot legally carry if at all within my control.

It is not paranoia, but quietly, responsibly being prepared for the 1 time in a million.

         Yata hey

 

Click to expand...

+1

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TTcrunchberry wrote:

First, I live somewhere near Anoka, Minnesota. Second, thanks for everyone that has been willing to explain and answer my questions, I really do appriciate it and it does make a lot more sense. For some reason it makes it easier to understand when ya hear it from multiple people. The very last comment before this post asks why my boyfriend shouldn't be able to protect himself from my crazy x while we are together and I want to make it clear than I in NO WAY said that he shouldn't or can't and I want him to be able to defend himself. As I said before I just didn't understand why parting with a firearm for a day or an hour in specific places would cause someone to be so uncomfortable. And I do realize that crazy people can show up at any point in time. I was no trying to anger anyone at alland I hope you all know that I support you all very much. I've always been for and supported home defense and this carry thing is just new to me so I am only trying to collect information and understanding.

I do understand a lot of things better now because of all you answering my questions, so thank you!! Someone said in an earlier post that where we live may be particularly hostile when it comes to open carriers and I think that's slightly true where we live. He has had several people approach him and been thrown around by cops who don't know the law. Carry is pretty uncommon here and openly carrying is even more uncommon. Besides my boyfriend I havn't seen a single person carrying in any of the places that I've been in my entire life (besides police officers).

So again, thanks for all the advice/explainations. Lots of you had great things to say and most of you seem to be great at educating the curious =) Much appriciation!!

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Perhaps watching this video will help you understand why some of us are not comfortable being without our side arm.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1u0Byq5Qis

As has been mentioned, just because you don't see people carrying it doesn't mean that they don't. Concealed carry (CC) is what it is, concealed, out of sight.

Instead of asking your BF why he carries everyday, if you are considering carrying more than you do now, perhaps you could bring it up that you are. Then list off some of "your" reasons (some that we've supplied you here) and ask him what he thinks. If he agrees that your reasons are good ones, you'll know at least in part why he carries everyday.

There's more than one way to skin a cat. LOL


BTW, Welcome to OCDO. Hope you stick around. Your BF is welcome to come join us too.

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TTcrunchberry wrote:

My boyfriend carries EVERYWHERE, ALL THE TIME and when he carries it tends to be openly. When I ask him to explain to me a) why he carries ALL the time and b) why he open carries, he just gets diffensive and feels like I'm saying he shouldn't. I have NO problem with him carrying, I knew when I started seeing him that he was this way so I knew what I was getting into. My only goal here is to have a better understanding, which I am not getting from talking to him. The times that I have carried have been openly and I was overall okay, but kinda uncomfortable. I guess I feel like with open carry, more people are going to stare and it will make people uncomfortable. My boyfriend has actually had to deal with police on multiple accounts because of his open carrying. Maybe I am just afraid it'll get him in trouble one day...

I have a pretty specific reason that I got my permit to carry. I had a firearm for home defence and wanted to gain some more shooting experience and knowledge. I have also read most of the gun laws for my state. I was in an abusive relationship in the past and my abuser still comes around to cause problems. He is a scary, dangerous person which is specifically why I decided to get my permit. I have a hard time understanding why someone who doesn't have a specific threat would need to carry which is why I am posting this, because I WANT to understand. When I ask my boyfriend why he carries he just says "for self defense" which almost makes me feel like he is nervous or afriad that everywhere he goes he will be a victim. I do believe that everyone should be able to defend themselves wherever they are so I guess overall I get why people carry...Please don't post anything defensively, I am honestly not trying to say that people shouldn't carry, again I am for it overall.

I love my boyfriend and would really like to have a better understanding of where he is coming from and why he chooses this life style. I think I am the first girlfriend he has had that has been ok with it and I want to keep impressing him with how supportive and understanding I am. I think I would be more comfortable with the whole idea of carrying if I could just understand it better. So, please, help me answer these two questions:

1) Why carry a firearm at all times?

2) Why open carry?

Thank you all so much =)

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Answer 1: This question is fairly personal, so the responses will vary widely. As for me, I'ma retired USAF officer. More than twenty years ago I swore to "support and defend the Constitution of the United States again all enemies, foreign and domestic." Just because I retired doesn't mean my oath expired, and part of that involves exercising our Constitutional right to protect self, others, and property against criminals, using deadly force if necessary (at least in my state - some states have yet to get a freakin' clue). To me it's much more than a right. It's a civic responsibility, as well as a duty. I do it because I take personal responsibility for the body politic, in part because of my concern for the safety and welfare of my fellow man, and in part because of the training I received while in the military. I choose not to allow that training to go to waste.

Answer 2: Three reasons: It's a deterrent (CC is not); faster access than CC; and some folks are unable to obtain CC permits.

On a more personal note, it sounds to me like you're a good fit for this individual! I'm a writer so I'm very adept at articulating my thoughts and feelings. Most people are not. Most frequenters of message forums are better at expressing themselves than your average individual.

Even if your beau isn't very good at expressing himself, it doesn't mean he doesn't have thoughts, beliefs and feelings. Give him some time. Heck, show him my post and just ask, "what do you think about what this guy is sayin?" If all he says is something like "yep, that about covers it" then thank your lucky stars and accept the fact that he's on the right track, at least as far as firearms are concerned.

If you'd like him to talk more, though, you'll have to find a relationship counselor.

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Perhaps your BF is a man of few words but instead, one of action.

He is demonstrating through the action of OC that he takes defense of himself and his loved ones seriously. To him it is a no brainer and perhaps he gets frustrated that you do not "just understand." Sometimes putting things into words can be tough for a man and it is even harder for them when it involves a woman. Especially if the man really cares about the woman.

Most crimes that happen out in the public are semi-random. Mainly, you look like a victim to the BG and they see if they can rob you. The only way to be prepared for this kind of crime is to be always armed. Openly carrying advertises to the BG that someone is not an easy target before the attack begins.

Add the above to the fact that you mentioned a former boyfriend that may be less than stable and your current BF has even more reasons to OC. I'd also be willing to bet that your current BF picks up on your fears of the former BF.

So, instead of trying to delve into his psyche to the point that he's uncomfortable, just give him a big ol' hug and kiss and tell him that you feel so much safer when he is around.

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rscottie wrote:

So, instead of trying to delve into his psyche to the point that he's uncomfortable, just give him a big ol' hug and kiss and tell him that you feel so much safer when he is around.

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I totally already do that!! He knows that I appriciate his concern for me and his passion to protect himself. I guess I'm kinda an analytical person so instead of takin it for what it's worth I want to understand the ins and outs of everything which can sometimes be a fault. He is a great guy and takes protecting my daughter and I very seriously!! Someone said earlier that his fiance and her daughter love the guy more because he is willing to publicly display his willingness to protect them...I hadn't thought of it like that and it was a great point!! You guys are all pretty cool =)

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TTcrunchberry wrote:

..... Carry is pretty uncommon here and openly carrying is even more uncommon.....

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Don't let this seem harsh, because I no it does. You say that carry is uncommon, but do you actually take the time to search every person you pass to see for yourself.

A friend and I were recently at the mall here in BR, LA and decided to stop in the food court. While enjoying our meal I noticed the guy behind him had a bulge in the back of his pants(concealed firearm). Then I thought I wounder how many people actually carry in the mall. 2 hours later I had counted at least 3 people who had been CC, not vary well but still CC. 4 people in 2.5-3 hours is more than I would have ever thought but it's a lot more common than you think if you actually look at people.

I still wonder how many women who walk around with their hand in their purse are packing heat, pepper spray, a taser, or just trying to look intimidating.

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I said in an earlier post that carrying is uncommon here and open carrying is even more uncommon and a few people have said "how do you know carrying is uncommon if it's concealed?!" That is true but taking into account that I live in a tiny town and I know a lot of people here and if I don't know them then someone I know knows them and lots of people know other people's business. In all the people that I know my boyfriend and his friends and family are the only people that carry. Otherwise, I have an uncle that carries but he doesn't live anywhere near me. AND wherever I go I look for "lumps" and stuff and don't ever see it (so either they conceal really well and keep it a total secret that they have their permit, or I'm just right) =) Anyways...my point in saying it was that it is new to me and I have never been around it personally until I met the boyfriend, that was my only point...

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In my state, permits to carry are required.
And the total number of current permits is available from the state. Last figure I saw was 400,000, I think.
The total population is a bit less than 10 million.

Since getting the license requires a bit of expense and effort, we can assume that people wouldn't bother if they did not intend to carry.

So you can do the math and see that carrying firearms isn't all that rare. 1 out of 20 (less in cities, more in the country, I'd guess.)

In addition, in places where there is an anti-gun attitude, many people are careful not to advertise the fact that they are carrying. "Even your best friend won't tell you"

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I apologize if I'm saying what someone else has said, as I didnt read everyone's posts. I had a thought cross my mind, and would forget it if i kept reading. i have a lovely memory:banghead:.

But if you were to ask me why I carry ALL time time - from the time I put my pants on in the morning to the moment I take them off to get in bed at night - I would tell you it's because at this point, having carried for so long, I feel naked without it.

It's like your cell phone. you just feel off-balance without it. and my firearm has become the one thing i always have with me, because i know the moment i leave it at home is going to be the once-in-a-lifetime time when i need it to defend my life or the lives of my family or friends.

And i do carry around the house too. there was an experience recently in the news about a man selling a ring on craigslist. the potential buyers showed up, flashed some cash to get in the door, and BAM! killed the dad, beat their kid over the head, and stole the ring.

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Every time I see that Suzanna Hupp video, I get teary-eyed.

Because it reminds me why I carry every day (where legal). It's because I love my wife, my daughters, and my precious granddaughter, and I want to be prepared AT ALL TIMES to do everything in my power to protect myself and my family from a similar fate.

I pray that we never find ourselves in a similar situation, but I know that if we do, I won't have to spend the rest of my life tormented like Ms. Hupp, asking myself "what if?"...


TTcrunchberry, please read the rest of this post closely. Read it slowly. Because I'm going to tell you the deep dark secret why we OC...

It's not because we're "macho". It's not because we're "compensating for something". It's not because we want attention. It's not because we're "making a political statement" (OK, maybe in some cases, it is, a little...). It's not because we like making people nervous (except "bad guys"...)

It's because we love...

By making the decision to carry, we've accepted a grave and weighty responsibility. We have taken personal responsibility for our own safety, and that of our loved ones. And that is a responsibility that weighs heavy on the shoulders of any person. But it's light as a feather compared to the responsibility we would feel if we found ourselves in Ms. Huff's situation on that dreaded day in Killeen TX, when she watched her parents and 21 other people die at the hands of a madman because she made the decision to leave her gun in the car rather than carry it with her.

I'll never make that mistake. I may not "stop the bad guy" with the first shot, but goddamit, I'm not going out without a fight, and I'm sure as hell not going to cower behind a table hoping he runs out of ammo before he gets to me or my family.

I've spent a lot of time, money, and mental energy training, preparing, and practicing my skills in self-defense. Not just shooting a gun--but finding cover, looking for escape routes, being trained as a "first responder" in first aide, and all sorts of other things. Not because I'm paranoid, or all "gung ho", but because I learned VERY early in life that it is the RIGHT thing to do. Being prepared to do the best you can to help people in any situation is the most noble, brave, and loving thing a person can do in life. And I aim to ALWAYS be as prepared as I can--for any situation. Whether I come upon a car wreck, or an injured person, or I'm attacked my some violent nut job, I have gone to great lengths to ensure that I am mentally, physically, and materially prepared to do my best to see the situation through to it's most positive outcome.

Refusing to be a victim is the most noble thing a law-abiding citizen can do...

You should tell your boyfriend how much you love him (and stop questioning him for OCing). When you're with him out on the town and he's OCing you should feel proud, because he's openly telling the world that he loves you, and he loves life SO much that he's willing, able, and PREPARED to do anything to ensure your safety and his own.

OC lets the world know--in no uncertain terms--that you take your own safety, and the safety, security, and lawfulness of those around you VERY seriously. It's not prideful, or "showing off". It is simply letting the world know where you stand, and that you are NOT a "willing victim".

Concealed Carry does no such thing. It makes you look like every other "sheeple" out there--like you are unarmed, unable, and unwilling to protect yourself and others.

OC lets the world know you CAN protect yourself, so you never have to.

CC means if you are mistaken for an unarmed "sheeple" by a Bad Guy, you are almost GUARANTEED to have to shoot someone.

Given the choice between making a couple soccer moms uncomfortable and sending the "Bad Guys" on down the road, or being "politically correct" and CCning and having to shoot someone who is attacking me because they think I'm disarmed, I'll OC every trip of the train.

OCers hope they NEVER have to shoot someone. And history shows that is, in fact, the case. It is VERY rare that an OCer has to defend themself. Bad Guys are cowardly and lazy, and would rather scoot on down the road than chance attacking someone who is obviously armed and prepared to defend themselves and their loved ones.

We don't OC because we want attention, or to piss people off, or to make soccer moms uncomfortable. We do it to let the bad guys know that we WILL NOT be victims, and we WILL NOT tolerate their lawlwss behavior in our peaceful, law-abiding society. We OC because we love our families, we cherish peace, and we take pride in our communities. We OC because we are not afraid of criminals, or thugs, or madmen, and we want them to know that, so they will leave us alone.

And 99.999% of the time, they do...

We OC because we never want to use our firearms. And if you believe the statistics, it works.

Look through the news. How many stories can you find in the last 5 years about people who were carrying concealed and had to shoot some bad guy?

Now find a story where an Open Carry person had to defend him/herself or their loved ones against a direct attack.

Go ahead, we'll wait...




















See, it works...

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Why carry a gun? Because not only are the police legally not responsible for your safety, they will most likely arrive after it's over. I believe in wearing a seatbelt everytime I'm in a car, because I don't know when, where or if I will ever need it. But, if I do need it, it might save my life.

We, unfortunately, live in a world that has criminals. Being a boxer, having a black belt, etc. is all useless if the bad guy pulls a gun from 15 feet away. That would be a good time to be able to defend yourself.

As for open carry, first my permit allows me to conceal or carry my gun openly. I live in a hot climate and it is very difficult and uncomfortable to carry concealed. I finally got tired of it and began OCing.

Some are making a statement by carrying openly. If the public sees enough law abiding citizens carrying, perhaps they will realize that we are worthy of their trust.

Openly Carrying sends a strong message to would be criminals. I can also access my firearm quicker when OCing. Their is no way to documate it, but I feel certain that some criminals cancelled their plans when he/she saw someone with a gun. Maybe they passed on robbing that convience store. Same situation, but I was carrying concealed. There is no visible threat so they enter with guns drawn. Now I have a problem. Do I pull my gun just to stop them from stealing some money? Probably not, but how can I know that they might shoot the cashier and me. I prefer the first scenario!

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open4years wrote:

Their is no way to documate it, but I feel certain that some criminals cancelled their plans when he/she saw someone with a gun. Maybe they passed on robbing that convience store.

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That happened here in Ga. recently, criminals admitted it, and it WAS documented by the police.

http://www.examiner.com/x-5619-Atla...8-Open-carry-deters-armed-robbery-in-Kennesaw

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TTcrunchberry wrote:

1) Why carry a firearm at all times?

2) Why open carry?

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Only your BF can articulate these things for himself, but I'll share why I carry all the time.

I am the only person on the planet that is 100% responsible for my life and safety. Since I do not know when or where someone may try to harm me or those around me, I carry the most effective tool I know of to defend myself and others. I refuse to ever be a helpless victim!

I carry openly for a variety of reasons, and have nothing against cc when it seems best.

1. I can access my gun faster and with far better control
2. When other people see ordinary people, going armed in their daily life without threatening or harming others, they begin to lose the fear and prejudice that the PC and anti-gun propaganda has worked so hard to instill in them.
3. People who are interested can ask me questions about the gun and carrying. I am happy to stop and talk to them and offer printed information.

Not everyone is willing to go through all that, but the more of us who do, the fewer problems any of us will have carrying our self defense tools.

I have already had to shoot a man to save my life. If I had not been armed, right then and there, I would be dead. He was a stranger, not a stalker or X BF, and another could come along at any moment. Probably won't, but I can't count on it.

Here is the story of that encounter: http://www.thepriceofliberty.org/08/09/22/editor.htm

Bottom line: I REFUSE to be a victim.

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groats wrote:

open4years wrote:

Their is no way to documate it, but I feel certain that some criminals cancelled their plans when he/she saw someone with a gun. Maybe they passed on robbing that convience store.

Click to expand...

That happened here in Ga. recently, criminals admitted it, and it WAS documented by the police.

http://www.examiner.com/x-5619-Atla...8-Open-carry-deters-armed-robbery-in-Kennesaw

Click to expand...

Thanks for sharing that!

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Why open carry?
I open carry because its more comfortable, I can carry a full size pistol instead of a compact or sub-compact, and it is a deterrent.

Why all day every day?
Crime happens every where and 24 hrs a day. No where is off limits to a criminal.

I hope we are of some help.

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TTcrunchberry, I'm impressed by the way you have handled yourself while talking in this thread even when dealing with tough questions. I hope all your questions have been answered so far and you and your beau are having good talks about it.

Dreamer, way to put intelligence down in text... seriously, I was impressed.

Everyone else, good job not turning this in to a "You're a troll!" thread. This thread just may help someone.

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Task Force 16 wrote:

TTcrunchberry wrote:

First, I live somewhere near Anoka, Minnesota. Second, thanks for everyone that has been willing to explain and answer my questions, I really do appriciate it and it does make a lot more sense. For some reason it makes it easier to understand when ya hear it from multiple people. The very last comment before this post asks why my boyfriend shouldn't be able to protect himself from my crazy x while we are together and I want to make it clear than I in NO WAY said that he shouldn't or can't and I want him to be able to defend himself. As I said before I just didn't understand why parting with a firearm for a day or an hour in specific places would cause someone to be so uncomfortable. And I do realize that crazy people can show up at any point in time. I was no trying to anger anyone at alland I hope you all know that I support you
all very much. I've always been for and supported home defense and this carry thing is just new to me so I am only trying to collect information and understanding.

I do understand a lot of things better now because of all you answering my questions, so thank you!! Someone said in an earlier post that where we live may be particularly hostile when it comes to open carriers and I think that's slightly true where we live. He has had several people approach him and been thrown around by cops who don't know the law. Carry is pretty uncommon here and openly carrying is even more
uncommon. Besides my boyfriend I havn't seen a single person carrying in any of the places that I've been in my entire life (besides police officers).

So again, thanks for all the advice/explainations. Lots of you had great things to say and most of you seem to be great at educating the curious =) Much appriciation!!

Click to expand...

Perhaps watching this video will help you understand why some of us are not comfortable  being without our side arm.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1u0Byq5Qis

As has been mentioned, just because you don't see people carrying it doesn't mean that they don't. Concealed carry (CC) is what it is, concealed, out of sight.

Instead of asking your BF why he carries everyday, if you are
considering carrying more than you do now, perhaps you could bring it up that you are. Then list off some of "your" reasons (some that we've supplied you here) and ask him what he thinks. If he agrees that your reasons are good ones, you'll know at least in part why he carries everyday.

There's more than one way to skin a cat. LOL


BTW, Welcome to OCDO. Hope you stick around. Your BF is welcome
to come join us too.

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Thank you for posting that link. I saved it on my iPhone although antis probably won't stick around to watch it. I've discovered that they are so committed to their anti-gun stance, that they aren't interested in facts.

But, in the past year, there have been a few times leaving my house that I forgot my gun (I do keep one in the vehicle) but never again will I leave my house without one. I had heard of this shooting, but I never heard her testimony until now. I loved it when she said assault weapons are for "you guys!"