imported post
Welcome,
Practice, practice, practice. then do it some more. Shot placement is the key.
I like a .357 or a .40 myself. Have no use or want of a 9mm. While they can and do get the job done, I just do not like them. .45's are, for me, a hunting round and I use them as such.
This is what I do, and recommend to my friends and students.
Carry what you are comfy with, and are good at. If you are not able to control your shots, DO NOT CARRY.
I practice with a lighter load, both for comfort, and cost. Then when done with the practice, I put a full mag thru with the larger loads that I will use as a Defensive load. Muscle memory. You will remember what the last load is that you shot, and when in need, you will not even feel the recoil.
What I am trying to say, and it comes across better in person, lol, is that you will not feel the recoil of a bigger round when you use it in a defensive action. It will happen so fast, and be over with before you can feel it. Just like when hunting with a large cal rifle. The dang thing hurts like heck to sight in, (20 rounds), but the one or two shots needed to bring down the Elk you never feel.