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Hard to put all those requirements into any pistol that immediately comes to my mind. Tanfoglio, maybe? That would likely meet most of the desired options as well. Bersa might have some options for you in .45
The Sig P220 Stainless Elite meets most of those. It is a bit pricey but one of my favorite guns. It does not have an external thumb safety but is DA/SA which is fairly safe for self defense.