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Thread: What to do

  1. #1
    Regular Member jkestner3's Avatar
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    What to do

    about my Wife. I love her to death. But she absolutely hates me OC'ing or CC for that matter. She thinks it is the craziest/dumbest thing that I carry my Kimber Pro Crimson Caryy II with a round in the chamber, and on safe( the only way I think it makes since to carry 1911). She also says it is super embarrasing and that people stare. It has been the center of a few pretty big arguments, not like she's gonna leave me arguments or anything like that, but they still suck. How would/do you fellas handle this?

  2. #2
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    How familiar is she with said firearm? Have you taken her to the range? Does she know it won't jump out and bite? Maybe start with CC and work up to OC?

  3. #3
    Regular Member jkestner3's Avatar
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    she's pretty familiar with it. i have taken her to the range numerous times where she has shot my Kimber and also her .38 Ultra Light that she keeps with her when she is in our other aprtment or back home doing clinical work. She knows it is safe just doesnt like it at all for some reason.

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    My wife is pretty cool about me carrying now. In the beginning though, she would say, "Why are you carrying? We're just going to xxx". I would just reply, "Can you guarentee me that nothing will happen?" She finally got tired of me saying that, so she stopped asking. Occasionaly, she will still say it depending on where we are going. My advice is not to argue about it. Just tell her, you're carrying for the safety of you and her and drop it. If she wants to argue about it, ignore her. Just my $.02 before taxes!

  5. #5
    Regular Member neuroblades's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jkestner3 View Post
    she's pretty familiar with it. i have taken her to the range numerous times where she has shot my Kimber and also her .38 Ultra Light that she keeps with her when she is in our other aprtment or back home doing clinical work. She knows it is safe just doesnt like it at all for some reason.
    I don't get it. Usually the females or people in general that take issue with carrying either open or concealed are those that do not or have not be exposed to guns in there lives. I know, it sounds impossible but there are some out there apparently. *LOL*

    If she has a gun of her own, has shot it and has shot yours then I can't see the logic in her protesting you carrying. If you're carrying concealed, then HOW are people staring anyways? LOL
    Got SIG? MOLON LABE

  6. #6
    Regular Member jkestner3's Avatar
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    Honeslty I dont get it either. And sometimes I CC and sometimes I OC, so thats where the looks come from, when i am OC. But yeah she has shot guns and grew up in the same place and same school and everything i did, very gun friendly. And when I do give her the "WHAT IF ?!?!?!?!" line she just scoffs and rolls her eyes. I think it is just gonna come down to me just haveing to tell her to deal with it, that sucks, but o well.

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    So the issue at hand isn't the carrying of guns, it's the attention that comes from OC. Sounds like it will just take time. How about attending an OC event? There's confidence in numbers and know that OCers really aren't all that crazy.

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    Regular Member neuroblades's Avatar
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    I agree, an OC event is a great place to get everyone out there and to enjoy time among other like-minded individuals. Usually there's an OC picnic in Lexington around about this time of the year. Just keep an eye out for word on one here.
    Got SIG? MOLON LABE

  9. #9
    Regular Member Thos.Jefferson's Avatar
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    Sounds as though you two haven't been married all that long and you are getting to know each other still? Rule #1 is not to argue with a woman, you can not win.Best thing to do is clam up ,let her say her piece,bite your tongue and do what your going to do. She'll thank you if you ever need that gun and then you'll have the satifaction of knowing you were right all along.
    He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent which will reach to himself. -- Thomas Paine (1737--1809), Dissertation on First Principles of Government, 1795

  10. #10
    Regular Member Ivan Sample's Avatar
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    Smile

    I had this same problem with my wife and I just sat down with her and explain the benefits. Like whats in it for her, like the safety of her well being. Because we never know where a threat is coming from but we are prepare to deal with it. Tell her how much you love her (which we already know) and that if anything happen her to her that you wouldn't know what to do. You almost have to confirm to her and let her know that you are a team. Most women like to be inform about almost everything that they husbands do. It may sound crazy but it work for me and I know what work for me may not work for you but give it a try. That is just my opinion and Good luck.

  11. #11
    Regular Member KRM59's Avatar
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    I never had anyone in my family ask me why i OC, just lucky on that issue. even my older sister carries. I was asked yesterday why i left my Gun in the car at the cookout/birthday party for another one of my sisters. I just told them i was going to continue to wear it because some of you make me nervus, lol but with all the kids around i didn't feel the need to wear it. I have been blessed with a very proactive family were Firearms have been a big part of our lives and heritage. we all came from the Hills and Guns were just a normal part of our day.
    "To disarm the people is the most effectual way to enslave them."
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  12. #12
    Regular Member Swamper's Avatar
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    My wife hated my open carry, and actually encouraged my CC license, although I've never had a problem with people staring... for the most part, it seems that people never actually LOOK at other people anymore anyway!

    She finally relaxed completely, and began to take seriously to the idea of having a firearm handy here at home, after we witnessed a drug deal in the Meijers store on Preston near the Bullitt County Line.

    Three young saggy pants were using a hole in the wall behind the bubblegum machines, between the inner and outer doors, at the Grocery end of the place... what we saw, as we came through the inner door pushing our cart, froze her in place, and I could not get her to back up into the store, and away from them! She was that terrified by them, their threatening appearance, expressions, and language, all directed at us.

    I stepped to the side of the cart, and just looked at each in turn, my hand on my weapon under my vest, but without actually displaying it. The older of the three grabbed a small plastic bag of white powder from the hole, and all three ran outside and around toward the side parking area. He was the one that one of the younger one's had just handed a roll of bills to when we came through the door, and I've often wondered if they pair got their dope from him out back!

    We got in her car as fast as we could after throwing our stuff inside, and left.

    She's been a believer in "It can happen anywhere, any time... and to YOU!" ever since.

    My son has convinced his wife by clipping stories out of newspapers that come in on UPS trucks at his work, about home invasions, car-jackings, and daylight kidnapping/rapes... she has taken an interest in shooting with him, and they are shopping for a weapon for her now.
    Last edited by Swamper; 08-19-2010 at 10:06 PM.
    Ignorance can be cured by education... there is nothing you can do for stupid, except try to keep it out of elected office!

  13. #13
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    My wife used to get seriously PO'd when she'd find me carrying concealed (texas, the only way), until one night when she decided to go wash the car since it was cooler. Found out she was very unsure about the other 'company' washing their cars, so called me to come up and be with her. Once I got there, she asked me if I had my 'little friend' because she was very intimidated. she hasn't said a thing about me carrying since.

  14. #14
    Regular Member Undertaker's Avatar
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    Wife...............

    You know, I had a wife once , she didn't like me going fishing so I quit fishing. She didn't like me playing music so I quit playing music. She didn't like me carrying a firearm, ............so I'm going fishing tomorrow and the band's playing Saturday nite. Did I mention that I had a wife once.

  15. #15
    Regular Member Haz.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Undertaker View Post
    You know, I had a wife once , she didn't like me going fishing so I quit fishing. She didn't like me playing music so I quit playing music. She didn't like me carrying a firearm, ............so I'm going fishing tomorrow and the band's playing Saturday nite. Did I mention that I had a wife once.
    Good one 'Undertaker'

    I have had my one and only wife for 40 years. When one has been married to the same woman for that long one learns ever so slowly how to get along with them and steer them in the right direction. For example, when I retired a few years ago, it unfortunatly became necessary for her to get a fulltime job along with her part-time job, both for extra income to support the way of life we had become used to. Shortly after she started working her full time job, I noticed she was beginning to slow right down. I usually get home from the pub about the same time she gets home from work, and although she knows how hungry I am, she always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. Also, she used to do the dishes as soon as we had finished eating, but now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. Again, I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that the dishes won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
    Another symptom of her working full time as well as having a part time job is her constant complaining. For example, she tells me that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think that being open and honest with her regarding her gaining or looseing weight is one of my strong points. Lately when doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She now has to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I help her by telling her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.
    Now if 'jkestner3' were to take my freely given hard learnt over 40 years advice and be more understanding, as I am, I am sure over time his wife will understand and eventually stop nagging him about open carrying. Haz.

  16. #16
    Regular Member neuroblades's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Undertaker View Post
    You know, I had a wife once , she didn't like me going fishing so I quit fishing. She didn't like me playing music so I quit playing music. She didn't like me carrying a firearm, ............so I'm going fishing tomorrow and the band's playing Saturday nite. Did I mention that I had a wife once.
    Rolling on the floor laughing my butt off in a puddle of pee! That's literally CLASSIC!!!!! I've GOT to remember that one for tomorrow.
    Got SIG? MOLON LABE

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    almost died

    Quote Originally Posted by neuroblades View Post
    Rolling on the floor laughing my butt off in a puddle of pee! That's literally CLASSIC!!!!! I've GOT to remember that one for tomorrow.
    i have been reading alot on this site over the past few weeks and i decided to register just so i could comment on this post. i seriously fell out of my bed from laughing so hard and almost broke my laptop. just thought i would share. thank you all for you insight over the entire site.

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    Regular Member Outdoorsman1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Undertaker View Post
    You know, I had a wife once , she didn't like me going fishing so I quit fishing. She didn't like me playing music so I quit playing music. She didn't like me carrying a firearm, ............so I'm going fishing tomorrow and the band's playing Saturday nite. Did I mention that I had a wife once.
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  20. #20
    Campaign Veteran skidmark's Avatar
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    Seriously, just how much attention are you actually attracting? And how much of that attention results in openly hostile or challenging activity/conversation?

    Speaking as a man ("I'm a man, but I can change. Maybe.") I am aware that some women are more aware of and concerned about how others preceive them than most men are. Perhaps she sees your carrying as being vastly different than the way the rest of the people behave. If so, she's probably (he says while stepping waaay out on the proverbial limb just before taking the death-defying leap of faith) concerned about not only how people see her but about how people see you and what they think about you. You need to find out what the deep-down reason for her concern and dislike of you carrying is. She's given you two reasons : 1) But she absolutely hates me OC'ing or CC for that matter. She thinks it is the craziest/dumbest thing that I carry my Kimber Pro Crimson Caryy II with a round in the chamber, and on safe( the only way I think it makes since to carry 1911) and 2) She also says it is super embarrasing and that people stare.

    Education may resolve issue #1. Issue #2 is going to be more difficult to resolve, but you can try. See if you can spot people staring at you when you are carrying. Count how many people stared. Count how many pointed at you or hustled their children away. Find out if your wife is embarassed because you are "different" or because of the other people staring. Remember that what she feels (emotions) is real for her even if the reason she feels that way is not what you would call rational.

    Also, as has been mentioned before, explain to her why you carry. Is there any greater expression of love than taking steps to protect the one you love from any and all harm that may come at her? You buy her auto insurance, right? You buy homeowners/renters insurance, right? You buy life insurance, right? But since you can't carry a cop to protect her around with you all day, you bought a Kimber and carry that around with you all day, right? See, Mrs. jkestner3, he loves you just bunches and bunches!

    stay safe.

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