You need to attend some seminars on the use of deadly force in Virginia. This is not a flame, merely a suggestion. Virginia is actually a very good state where the use of deadly force is concerned. The one area where I would like to see a change is in the civil part of the law. If a victim is forced to use deadly force in their or someone else's defense and it is found to be excusable, then they should be immune from any subsequent civil actions resulting from this.
There are five felony crimes which can be met with deadly force should the need arise: murder, robbery, rape, arson, and burglary. Now as far as defending your home, if someone breaks into your home during the day, they are not a burglar; they are a trespasser so the law views them and any actions you might take against them in a different light. However at night, that same person breaking into your house is no longer a trespasser.., he is now a burglar.
If you awaken to someone in your house and you shout at them to get out and they flee, they are not a threat to you. However, if you shout at them and they proceed to come at you or someone else in your family, guess what they are now?
INAL so I highly advise you to attend some seminars on this topic, get your hands on a few books (The Virginia Gun Owner's Guide is one of them), and do some research on this. Then talk to an attorney if you still have questions.