i think thats pretty well written.
the only thing i thought might help. is instead of saying you go to a online store, i say i go to another store that has a beter attitude towards their customers. that way they cant try using that you should come to them b/c an online store, you would have to wait for it to get shiped to you. if you told them you go to another non-online store, they have one less reason to tell you why to come here, besides confronting the issue of them not being respectfull to their customers.