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Thread: Zombies Got Lawyers! OMG!

  1. #1
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    Smile Zombies Got Lawyers! OMG!

    This is for all the zombie-fighters on OCDO.

    Many on this forum have relished the planning for resisting and surviving an apocalyptic take-over by zombies.

    Now we find out zombies have lawyers. No, really! And, they won a rights violation settlement against Minneapolis.

    Is there no level to which lawyers won't stoop? Although, I have heard some call that profession "flesh-eating", so maybe the alliance is not all that surprising.

    But, what does this portend for zombie-fighters everywhere? What are the next zombie rights litigated? How do the undead even have legal status? Will some judges be sympathetic out of a feeling of fellowship? How will the federal circuits split? Will there even be a circuit split? We need Gura on our side on this one!

    Here is the story on this ground-breaking development:

    Zombies Scare Minneapolis into Cash Settlement

    Seven zombies accused of carrying weapons of mass destruction will be staggering to the bank shortly with a bundle of cash, courtesy of a legal settlement with the City of Minneapolis...
    The seven were arrested in 2006 during Aquatennial while dressed for a "Night of the Living Dead"...
    The cops busted the seven for disorderly conduct and said the zombies' homemade public address rig looked like a weapon of mass destruction. The zombies spent some brief, scary time in jail, where the cops confiscated one protester's very real prosthetic leg...

    Hart Van Denburg, Citipages website

    http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2...es_scare_m.php

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    Everybody knows you are supposed to shoot zombies in the head... if you don't then you're just asking to have your brain eaten or get sued.

  3. #3
    Regular Member Jack House's Avatar
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    Soooo they were arrested because dressing up like zombies made them look like "WMDs"?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack House View Post
    Soooo they were arrested because dressing up like zombies made them look like "WMDs"?
    No. No. No. They got arrested because their PA system looked like a WMD. Well, that and the cops twisted the whole picture into disorderly conduct. You know, like anybody who saw that bunch walking down the street would immediately be provoked into committing a breach of the peace. Obviously, it was Al Queda with a WMD instead of some party-goers dressed weird.

    And, you know how some police are. A court tells them they do not have to exclude all possible innocent explanations and some cops twist and expand it to mean they are required to ignore all innocent explanations, while any innocent explanation automatically converts reasonable suspicion into probable cause.

  5. #5
    Regular Member rodbender's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Citizen View Post
    No. No. No. They got arrested because their PA system looked like a WMD. Well, that and the cops twisted the whole picture into disorderly conduct. You know, like anybody who saw that bunch walking down the street would immediately be provoked into committing a breach of the peace. Obviously, it was Al Queda with a WMD instead of some party-goers dressed weird.

    And, you know how some police are. A court tells them they do not have to exclude all possible innocent explanations and some cops twist and expand it to mean they are required to ignore all innocent explanations, while any innocent explanation automatically converts reasonable suspicion into probable cause.
    OK. (In a whisper) Now what did he just say? Oh That, Ok.

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    Regular Member frommycolddeadhands's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Citizen View Post
    No. No. No. They got arrested because their PA system looked like a WMD.
    And how exactly does the cop know what a WMD looks like? Theoretically any woman carrying a purse, any kid with a backpack, or any man with a breifcase could potentially have a dirty IED inside.
    God is the one driving this stagecoach, I'm just riding shotgun.

  7. #7
    Regular Member Dreamer's Avatar
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    I'm waiting for the day when printing presses are categorised as "WMDs". When that day comes, my picture will be on Post Office walls for certain...

    We have FOUR boxes to stand on, with which to control the Government:
    --the ballet box,
    --the "soap box",
    --the printers type box,
    --as the ultimate last resort, the cartridge box...
    It is our cause to dispel the foggy thinking which avoids hard decisions in the delusion that a world of conflict will somehow mysteriously resolve itself into a world of harmony, if we just don't rock the boat or irritate the forces of aggression—and this is hogwash."
    --Barry Goldwater, 1964

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamer View Post
    SNIP We have FOUR boxes to stand on, with which to control the Government:
    --the ballet box,
    --the "soap box",
    --the printers type box,
    --as the ultimate last resort, the cartridge box...
    I can never afford a box at the ballet. Regular seating for me.

    (Sorry, I couldn't help it.)

  9. #9
    Regular Member Jack House's Avatar
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    I really, REALLY hate the term "WMD".

  10. #10
    Regular Member simmonsjoe's Avatar
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    Wmd

    weapon of mass deception?

    Aren't they a myth? They never found a real one outside of a major gov't power... ever.

    So in reality they were arrested because their PA system looked like science fiction.
    illegal ≠ immoral legal ≠ moral
    [SIZE=1]"I never submitted the whole system of my opinions to the creed of any party of men whatever in religion, in philosophy, in politics, or in anything else where I was capable of thinking for myself. "Such an addiction is the last degradation of a free and moral agent." - Thomas Jefferson
    G19 Gen 4; Bersa Thunder 380; Sig Sauer P238; Kel-Tec su-16c

  11. #11
    Regular Member Jack House's Avatar
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    Technically, pending on the state you live in, any illegal weapon or weapon component is a weapon of mass destruction.
    Last edited by Jack House; 08-27-2010 at 07:55 AM.

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