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Thread: Wife has accused me of DV for things that happened 20+ years ago.

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    Regular Member PincheOgro1's Avatar
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    Wife has accused me of DV for things that happened 20+ years ago.

    I was awakened by two Riverside Sheriff's dept deputies about two weeks ago now. My wife gave them the keys to the house. I was awakened, and when I came out of my bedroom they were standing there with their guns pointing at me. I raised my hands up in the air momentarilly, and asked what's up. They checked the house to make sure no one else was there, then served me with DV papers, and divorce papers. I was told to pack. They asked where my weapons were. I told them my two rifles were behind the bedroom door, and my .40 was in the safe. I have a court appearance on 9/15. Does anyone have any idea what I should expect?

    The deputies DID NOT copnfiscate my weapons at the time this transpired. I don't know about now. I haven't been able to go home, or talk to wife. NOT ALLOWED.

    9/15 I just got back from court. It wasn't the 20 year old stuff. I pushed her off the bed one night when I was trying to sleep. 5 year restraining order, weapons gone. 1200 a month in support. Still waiting for the divorce court. I feel a little relieved to almost be done with her. Huh. My wife has turned in my rifles, and I asked the judge to make sure she turned in my pistol.
    Last edited by PincheOgro1; 09-15-2010 at 05:38 PM.

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    Regular Member ryanburbridge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PincheOgro1 View Post
    I was awakened by two Riverside Sheriff's dept deputies about two weeks ago now. My wife gave them the keys to the house. I was awakened, and when I came out of my bedroom they were standing there with their guns pointing at me. I raised my hands up in the air momentarilly, and asked what's up. They checked the house to make sure no one else was there, then served me with DV papers, and divorce papers. I was told to pack. They asked where my weapons were. I told them my two rifles were behind the bedroom door, and my .40 was in the safe. I have a court appearance on 9/15. Does anyone have any idea what I should expect?

    The deputies DID NOT copnfiscate my weapons at the time this transpired. I don't know about now. I haven't been able to go home, or talk to wife. NOT ALLOWED.
    WoW sorry to hear. What are DV papers. Did she get a restraining order against you? if so i don't think you can have guns till its off. Let a good bud hold on to them. Stay away and good luck starting over THAT SUCKS!!

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    Founder's Club Member MudCamper's Avatar
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    Get an attorney. Now.

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    Regular Member March Hare's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MudCamper View Post
    Get an attorney. Now.
    +10 to that!
    Since you've been served, it's moved into the realm of the lawyers, sorry to hear it because now talk becomes expensive!

    Wow.

    If you have any mutual friends, have one or more of them talk to her to find out just WTF is going on!

    Isn't there a time limitation on things like that? Just a thought.

    Good luck!

    -MH
    Last edited by March Hare; 09-14-2010 at 02:11 PM. Reason: Um...

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    It seems to me that the Domestic Violence Allegation is beyond what is enforceable by The California Courts per California's Statute of Limitations Codes.

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    If your workplace has an Employee Assistance Program (most large employers do, even if it's known by another name), use it to get a legal referral. You need a lawyer, now!

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    Anti-Saldana Freedom Fighter Sons of Liberty's Avatar
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    Not a good situation. Sorry to hear you have to go through this.

    Why didn't you take your guns when you were told to pack up and get out?

    Might want to PM Josey Wales. I think he has gone through something similar.

    http://forum.opencarry.org/forums/sh...V-and-arrested
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    Edit your post regarding the basis for the domestic violence charges. You do not want to make any comments on a public board that could be interpreted as an admission.

    I assume that the "DV papers" with which you were served was a temporary restraining order.

    Write a letter to the Sheriff to lodge a complaint that the deputies were pointing their weapons at you.

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    Riverside courts seem to be much more efficient than LA's. In LA, my arrainment hearing was two months after the arrest. Then came the preliminary hearing a month later and after that trial date was to be set. Then that was put off till March at which time a bargain was struck.

    If you haven't been to court for your divorce, how can they make you pay support?

    The attorneys at Calguns.net helped me tremendously. You may want to look them up.

    To give you a heads up...if you plead guiltly to ANY assault charge, you will lose your gun rights for ten years in CA and have a LIFETIME ban under Federal.
    Last edited by Josey Wales; 09-17-2010 at 10:54 PM.

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    Regular Member sudden valley gunner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aadvark View Post
    It seems to me that the Domestic Violence Allegation is beyond what is enforceable by The California Courts per California's Statute of Limitations Codes.
    .

    Doesn't matter at least it didn't when something similar happened to me the troopers who served me the notice felt real bad about doing it they knew it was a BS order. (I am in Washington so may be different for California) The court clerk I saw the next day couldn't understand why a judge signed that order she literally said this is a "Bull Sh*t" order, but on the advice of the troopers, clerk and the lawyer I hired there was nothing I could do about it ,even though it meant the longest period ever of not having contact with my young kids, (that damage has not been undone, and I feel never will be) it was thrown out in court at the hearing.

    Unfortunately judges will err (one sided in my opinion) on the side of caution and sign orders that really have no bearing on who you are. Be patient and stay strong I know what you are going through and the injustice is horrible but there really nothing you can do about it but prepare for your court date. Follow the advice the guys above this post wrote, don't touch your guns even if you believe there is ban. I couldn't mine and since I am in a community property state my ex could do what she wanted with them....sucky feeling.

    I wish you the best, let us know when everything turns out ok.

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    Regular Member Thos.Jefferson's Avatar
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    You pushed her out of bed when you were asleep and she runs and files DV charges, divorce papers and they grant her a restraining order? Dude, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but what the hell is wrong with people in california ?
    He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent which will reach to himself. -- Thomas Paine (1737--1809), Dissertation on First Principles of Government, 1795

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    Regular Member Grimes's Avatar
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    Unfortunately, things like this happen all the time all over the country. It comes from the way people are brought up throughout their life. People will do anything to get money or property from someone because they do not want to do the hard work themselves either to "screw" the other person over or because they are lazy.

    Just yesterday, I overheard a younger male around 22-25 say he was going to vote democrat (he says he's republican....yeah right) for the first time because he wants money to pay for items he wants (beer, etc.). Instead of getting a job and not spending money on things he doesn't need, he wants the government to give him money instead.

    This is one of the reasons why I will never marry a girl unless I truly get to know her.

    I really hope you work this out and good luck.
    Last edited by Grimes; 09-18-2010 at 12:21 PM.
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    Regular Member Decoligny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PincheOgro1 View Post
    9/15 I just got back from court. 5 year restraining order, weapons gone. 1200 a month in support. Still waiting for the divorce court. I feel a little relieved to almost be done with her. Huh.
    Hope it wasn't a Domestic Violence conviction. If so, it's no guns for the rest of your life under the (Federal) Lautenburg Act.
    Last edited by Decoligny; 09-19-2010 at 11:45 PM.

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    Having been through some of this crap with other friends - Its highly unlikely any judge grants a five year restraining order and takes all the guns - For inadvertantly knocking someone off the edge of a bed while you were sleeping five years ago.

    There is obviously more to this story.

    I'm just saying....

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    Regular Member CenTex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thos.Jefferson View Post
    You pushed her out of bed when you were asleep and she runs and files DV charges, divorce papers and they grant her a restraining order? Dude, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but what the hell is wrong with people in california ?
    He didn't say he was asleep. He said he was trying to sleep. That means he is awake.

    There is no excuse for physically pushing your wife out of the bed. She has as much right being there as you do. I don't excuse men, including you, for using physical force against their wives or any woman. Husbands are to love their wives...not abuse them.

    You have no sympathy from me...even if your wife is awful. My wife and I have had a number of spats during our 40 years of marriage. I have never found an excuse to raise a hand against her. Because of that, she has no fear of me. That is the way it should be.

    I believe there is more to this story than being told. You probably got what you deserve. I doubt this is the first time that you have use physical force against her. If I am wrong, I sincerely apologize.

    May true justice be served in your case. If you are innocent, may you be found so. The same goes for your wife.
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    Founder's Club Member - Moderator Gray Peterson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CenTex View Post
    He didn't say he was asleep. He said he was trying to sleep. That means he is awake.

    There is no excuse for physically pushing your wife out of the bed. She has as much right being there as you do. I don't excuse men, including you, for using physical force against their wives or any woman. Husbands are to love their wives...not abuse them.

    You have no sympathy from me...even if your wife is awful. My wife and I have had a number of spats during our 40 years of marriage. I have never found an excuse to raise a hand against her. Because of that, she has no fear of me. That is the way it should be.

    I believe there is more to this story than being told. You probably got what you deserve. I doubt this is the first time that you have use physical force against her. If I am wrong, I sincerely apologize.

    May true justice be served in your case. If you are innocent, may you be found so. The same goes for your wife.
    Concur with the above statement. My husband and I have been together for over 4 years and we've never raised a hand towards each other. The fact that you physically pushed your wife off of the bed while you were awake means you intentionally committed assault against a spouse/intimate partner. It's not a situation where you were sleeping and while you were tossing and turning.

    Welcome to the land of doing something really stupid where you lose your gun rights. This would happen in ANY state, not just California.

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    Quote Originally Posted by March Hare View Post
    +10 to that!
    Since you've been served, it's moved into the realm of the lawyers, sorry to hear it because now talk becomes expensive!

    Wow.

    If you have any mutual friends, have one or more of them talk to her to find out just WTF is going on!

    Isn't there a time limitation on things like that? Just a thought.

    Good luck!

    -MH
    Not Good Advice! Do not do this or you could be arrested for third party contact which is a violation of a restraining order. Let your lawyer do the talking. For all you know your mutual friends may all be siding with her and it could be a setup to have you thrown in jail. Think first, at this point you may not have any friends in that circle. Females will more than likely side with her and Males will as well if they figure they may get some benefits out of it. Be Careful!

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    Quote Originally Posted by CenTex View Post
    He didn't say he was asleep. He said he was trying to sleep. That means he is awake.

    There is no excuse for physically pushing your wife out of the bed. She has as much right being there as you do. I don't excuse men, including you, for using physical force against their wives or any woman. Husbands are to love their wives...not abuse them.

    You have no sympathy from me...even if your wife is awful. My wife and I have had a number of spats during our 40 years of marriage. I have never found an excuse to raise a hand against her. Because of that, she has no fear of me. That is the way it should be.

    I believe there is more to this story than being told. You probably got what you deserve. I doubt this is the first time that you have use physical force against her. If I am wrong, I sincerely apologize.

    May true justice be served in your case. If you are innocent, may you be found so. The same goes for your wife.
    Wow! Since this happened 5 years ago obviously she wasn't to hurt either physically or in pride to file a police report when it happened. So with that in mind, after 5 years everyone should just believe her because as you stated above, "Husbands are to love their wives...not abuse them."
    Why is it that just because she has a pair of boobs and nothing swinging between her legs everyone should just take her word for it? No evidence of any physical harm, no police report, no proof of any kind and we should just believe her?
    That is what is wrong with this country today. Everyone is so willing to just screw up a persons life with these over zealous DV laws, stipping the firearms rights and some times even voting rights away just because an also over zealous DA who is trying to make an OJ case for himself decides to prosecute someone just on a verbal accusation.

    Deleted personal attack on Centex. Also, using the term "woman"" as a negative? Really? -Gray -OCDO Moderator Team That is BS pure and simple. I think the wife should be made to undergo a psychological evaluation. There is more to this story all right and I am sure it probably has a lot to do with who she has been seeing behind his back.
    Last edited by Gray Peterson; 12-03-2010 at 07:06 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by March Hare View Post
    +10 to that!
    Since you've been served, it's moved into the realm of the lawyers, sorry to hear it because now talk becomes expensive!

    Wow.

    If you have any mutual friends, have one or more of them talk to her to find out just WTF is going on!

    Isn't there a time limitation on things like that? Just a thought.

    Good luck!

    -MH
    NO! Most emphatically, NO do NOT ask mutual friends to talk to her. NO CONTACT EXCEPT THROUGH THE COURT SYSTEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    You just gave advice that could result in his arrest.
    "Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Benjamin Franklin

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tweety View Post
    Wow! Since this happened 5 years ago obviously she wasn't to hurt either physically or in pride to file a police report when it happened. So with that in mind, after 5 years everyone should just believe her because as you stated above, "Husbands are to love their wives...not abuse them.".
    Huh? The 5 years was the RO, NOT the incident.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tweety View Post
    Deleted personal attack and use of "woman" in a negative context- Gray OCDO Moderator Team. That is BS pure and simple. I think the wife should be made to undergo a psychological evaluation. There is more to this story all right and I am sure it probably has a lot to do with who she has been seeing behind his back.
    Huh?

    Quote Originally Posted by CenTex View Post
    You have no sympathy from me...even if your wife is awful. My wife and I have had a number of spats during our 40 years of marriage. I have never found an excuse to raise a hand against her. Because of that, she has no fear of me. That is the way it should be.
    I suggest reading a bit closer prior to responding to posts.
    Last edited by Gray Peterson; 12-03-2010 at 06:36 PM.
    "Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Benjamin Franklin

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gray Peterson View Post
    Concur with the above statement. My husband and I have been together for over 4 years and we've never raised a hand towards each other. The fact that you physically pushed your wife off of the bed while you were awake means you intentionally committed assault against a spouse/intimate partner. It's not a situation where you were sleeping and while you were tossing and turning.

    Welcome to the land of doing something really stupid where you lose your gun rights. This would happen in ANY state, not just California.
    So Gray, if you and your husband were joking around, lets say chasing each other through the house and laughing and having a good time and he stumbles and falls against a piece of furniture and gets a few scratches, blows it off as nothing and then in 5 years uses it against you to get a divorce, you concur with that as well? I guess you get what you deserve since you were chasing him through the house with no regard for his safety. I do not think it fair that any of us judge the OP in this situation and just automatically take her word for things. That is what trials, judges and jurys are for.
    Deleted completely off-topic comments that have nothing to do with the original post. My comments in other forums is not a question here. Stay on topic -Gray OCDO Moderator Team.
    Last edited by Gray Peterson; 12-03-2010 at 06:37 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by wrightme View Post
    Huh? The 5 years was the RO, NOT the incident.

    Huh?



    I suggest reading a bit closer prior to responding to posts.
    I stand corrected om the 5 year remark. However, if this was such a serious incident, why didn't the OP's wife call the police immediately? I think it is more like an act of vengeance. The whole woman scorned thing. Either way I do not think it is fair for any of us to pass judgement on the OP. He has been convicted of nothing and at this point is merely a subject of allegations, which may very well be untrue.

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    Quote Originally Posted by wrightme View Post
    Huh? The 5 years was the RO, NOT the incident.

    Huh?



    I suggest reading a bit closer prior to responding to posts.
    Sorry long night, double shift.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tweety View Post
    I stand corrected om the 5 year remark. However, if this was such a serious incident, why didn't the OP's wife call the police immediately? I think it is more like an act of vengeance. The whole woman scorned thing. Either way I do not think it is fair for any of us to pass judgement on the OP. He has been convicted of nothing and at this point is merely a subject of allegations, which may very well be untrue.
    I would not be surprised if all of this is the case. She wanted out, he obliged with an actionable event, she capitalized. He is screwed.
    And, this falls under "be careful what you wish for......
    Quote Originally Posted by PincheOgro1 View Post
    Oh this just made my day..... Best news I could ask for... Well the second best. I'm still hoping to hear from my wife "I'm leaving you forever"... ROFL
    Last edited by wrightme; 12-03-2010 at 01:54 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by PincheOgro1 View Post
    I was awakened by two Riverside Sheriff's dept deputies about two weeks ago now. My wife gave them the keys to the house. I was awakened, and when I came out of my bedroom they were standing there with their guns pointing at me. I raised my hands up in the air momentarilly, and asked what's up. They checked the house to make sure no one else was there, then served me with DV papers, and divorce papers. I was told to pack. They asked where my weapons were. I told them my two rifles were behind the bedroom door, and my .40 was in the safe. I have a court appearance on 9/15. Does anyone have any idea what I should expect?

    The deputies DID NOT copnfiscate my weapons at the time this transpired. I don't know about now. I haven't been able to go home, or talk to wife. NOT ALLOWED.

    9/15 I just got back from court. It wasn't the 20 year old stuff. I pushed her off the bed one night when I was trying to sleep. 5 year restraining order, weapons gone. 1200 a month in support. Still waiting for the divorce court. I feel a little relieved to almost be done with her. Huh. My wife has turned in my rifles, and I asked the judge to make sure she turned in my pistol.
    Hang in there Pinche, don't let the negative comments bring you down. Prove your innocence in court and walk away with your chin up. Remember this is America, innocent until proven guilty in the court of law beyond a reasonable doubt as determined by a jury of your peers.

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