what would you have said?

So my 5 year old daughter asked, "why do you always have your gun?"
I started by explaining the constitution, rights, and how they keep us free. Then I stepped down and explained 2nd amendment. Then moved on to state constitutions and our 13th amendment and how responsible adults are allowed to openly carry firearms. I tried my best to stay away from the protection issue everyone goes too. I dont want her to feel like she is unsafe. We were victims of a home invasion, she just recently started sleeping through the night again. Im looking to address the issue again this weekend as we go to the range. please any input would be appreciated.

We've been blessedly free from being crime victims, but I grew up looking over my shoulder because of the neighborhoods we lived in. My daughters are close to yours in age and we've had the talks about "good strangers" and "bad strangers" early and often. I don't want them to have a complex like the one my parents gave me that everyone you don't know is to be feared, but I want them guarded and teach them to listen to their instincts.

With that background, when the question about my gun inevitably came up, I was able to say "To protect us from bad strangers" without missing a beat. I don't know what conversations you've had with your daughter, but I would suggest building on them. I understand with you having been the victim of a home invasion, you don't want her to regress by impressing on her that the world is to be feared. It's easier said than done, but you carrying and the home invasion can make her stronger rather than more fearful.

What other gun experience does she have? I was taking mine with me to the Tanner Gun Show since they were still strapped to my back. It's never too early to normalize and teach gun safety, IMNSHO. Maybe giving her positive gun experience will desensitize her to their relation to violence but allow you to preserve their defense aspect? I.e. daddy = protector, guns = daddy activity, guns = fun with daddy the protector.

Spend some time at http://corneredcat.com/. It's largely a "by a woman, for women" site, but it is good at embracing the "mama bear" side of self-defense that, IMO, helps when thinking about raising kids, particularly girls, who don't need to feel like they're in SEAL training.

If I ever start thinking about not carrying around my kids, I reread this story: http://corneredcat.com/Why/walmart.aspx

DEFINITELY read this section specifically about kids before you hit the range. Should give you some ideas for conversations to have with her BEFORE you go. http://corneredcat.com/TOC.aspx#Kids

Mahkagari,
I take the children with me to look at guns, shoot them, she "hangs" with me while i clean them. I try to expose the children to firearms as much as possible. Because my parents never had firearms. My Wifes father is a rifle guy, so she has been around rifles since she was 5. But she is scared of pistols. Fear of the unknown. I'm trying to make them the norm in my home. Because my father-in-law had his kids around guns so much they knew they were dangerous, knew proper handling protocol, even knew how to clean them. I want the same for my family. On a side note. My wife has shot, or caught a deer and 3 elk.(sorry never hunted don't know lingo) Do you have suggestions on a .22lr firearm for a 5yr old?

ososik said:

Mahkagari,
On a side note. My wife has shot, or caught a deer and 3 elk.(sorry never hunted don't know lingo)

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Awesome! "Harvested" is the hoidy toidy word. Most hunters I know say "shot" or "killed". "Taken" is another.

ososik said:

Do you have suggestions on a .22lr firearm for a 5yr old?

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Do some "readiness" tests with her before investing would be my main suggestion. Can she aim? Some kids take a while before they can really look through one eye. Mine still can't close one eye, but she's getting better at aiming with both eyes open. I cut the ends off a ballpoint pen for a "scope" for her to see if she could look through it before I started teaching her to aim.

Trigger pull is another consideration. A year ago, my 6yo could barely reach the trigger on airguns, much less have the hand/finger strength to pull with accuracy. Even on youth models. Take her to look at some youth models and see if she can reach the trigger with the pad of her finger firmly on it. Even better if she can put her first finger joint on it. She should learn to shoot with the pad and not the joint, but it'll show she can reach it well.

Does she have the arm strength to hold it up? Different models will have different weights. She can benchrest shoot, but it's a consideration. I went .410 shopping with mine and had her kneel ("standing" on her knees, not sitting on one or two feet) on the counter aiming at the animal heads on the wall at Sportsman's. I told her to hold her aim and counted to 10 to myself. I kept my hand under it in case she dropped it, but let her hold it herself.

Are her arms long enough to shoulder it properly? My daughter reaches over the top when she's airgun shooting, but I don't want her doing that with anything with real recoil. That was the main thing that has me holding off for a while before buying her a shotgun. I already have a couple .22's and don't want to buy another unless it swaps a barrel with a .410.

This was all after a long safety lesson and surprising her with the trip. We were going to a model train show and we stopped at Sportsman's. We go there regularly, but the surprise was when I asked the salesman to look at youth .410s and set her on the counter. She was drooling over a Cricket: http://www.rrarms.com/catalog.php?prod=G221

If your daughter's not ready for you to invest in her own .22, you can get a $30 air rifle for her to practice with in the backyard or basement. Mine only shoots one or two rounds on the airgun before she's done. Besides, telling her she needs to build her strength to hold the gun up so she can go hunting helps me get her to eat her dinner.

mahkagari said:

Awesome! "Harvested" is the hoidy toidy word. Most hunters I know say "shot" or "killed". "Taken" is another.

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I have harvested a buck antelope and muley so far this year. I plan on harvesting some birds in the upcoming weeks. Doesn't matter how you describe your game, dead is dead.

"Because I like guns, kiddo."

ooghost1oo said:

"Because I like guns, kiddo."

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That doesn't exactly convey a foundation of responsibility to a preschooler, IMO, but to each his own.

I was changing my shirt before going out tonight and my 3.5yo saw my pistol in my IWB SOB holster.

"What's sticking out of your pocket?"

"It's my gun, sweetheart."

"Why do you have it?"

"Why do you think?

"To shoot animals I don't like."

"Well, I won't shoot them just because you don't like them, but I will if they try to hurt you to protect you."

"Ok."

Precious innocent still lives in a world of monsters and animals, hasn't made the leap that people can be monsters too. She's got the foundation to protect herself though. I already talk to them about their frog brains (fight or flight) and being able to use their human brains to deal with a situation. This one's doing very well and even lectures older kids about standing ground, i.e. not inciting chase from exuberant animals despite their fear making them want to.

ososik said:

I started by explaining the constitution, rights, and how they keep us free. Then I stepped down and explained 2nd amendment. Then moved on to state constitutions and our 13th amendment and how responsible adults...

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She's 5! Even a 15-year-old would consider all that a stretch. Although you were recently victims of a home invasion, that's the perfect source for a reason she can understand: "To keep the bad guys away." She knows quite well what a bad guy is, as one invaded your home. Rather tha being scared by the reminder, she'll likely be reassured by Daddy (or Mommy) taking steps to protect her.

mahkagari said:

"To shoot animals I don't like."

"Well, I won't shoot them just because you don't like them, but I will if they try to hurt you to protect you."

"Ok."

Precious innocent still lives in a world of monsters and animals, hasn't made the leap that people can be monsters too. She's got the foundation to protect herself though. I already talk to them about their frog brains (fight or flight) and being able to use their human brains to deal with a situation. This one's doing very well and even lectures older kids about standing ground, i.e. not inciting chase from exuberant animals despite their fear making them want to.

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Follow-up: The next day between going to the gun show and lunch, we stopped at a Toys R Us. There was a Geoffrey the Giraffe mascot walking around. Same daughter has a fear of mascots. Always has. When she was younger, I saw her startle and start crying about Rocky the Dinosaur on the other side of a baseball field. Now, she just glares and complains. Both I and her older sister tried to explain to her (for the hundredth time) that it was a person in a costume, like a big stuffed animal with a person inside.

"No it's not! It's a real animal and I don't like him!!"

I relayed the conversation to my wife and after the exchange the night before she said, "Good thing she didn't ask you to shoot him." Yeah, that would have been a whole other conversation.

One bite at a time, let her swallow and digest some.

ososik said:

So my 5 year old daughter asked, "why do you always have your gun?"
I started by explaining the constitution, rights, and how they keep us free. Then I stepped down and explained 2nd amendment. Then moved on to state constitutions and our 13th amendment ....

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You have now force fed a 5 year old the ENTIRE ELEPHANT!... Keep it simple, truthful, and in small enough pieces that she will be willing to keep asking questions as she digests the info you give her-- not so large that she is afraid of being choked on the 1000 pound load delivered.

You mentioned the history of the home invasion.... Tell her how helpless you felt at that time and you carry a gun for protection---- just like the fire extinguisher and seat belts in the car. I understand your concern about adding to her psychological trauma but it is something that needs to be put into context---- the best way in my opinion to do that is simple, truthful explanations, and a consistent good example!

So I actually kinda had the question come up tonight. My wife and I are talking about a "couples" membership to a range and my 8 year old asked my wife why she wanted to go and shoot guns.

We both simply stated that it was for our safety and for her and her sisters and brother. We'll upgrade to a family membership when they are old enough.

Both of my children grew up around guns, were taught to shoot when they were old enough, and both have their own today. They learned at an early age that God, guns and guts made this country what it is. And the sacrifice of those who served in her military and risked their lives to keep what is valuable. Plus the fact that many generations of their family did just that. They've both seen the Wall, something I haven't yet. My son brought me a bumper sticker from their visit to DC: "The price of freedom is written on the Wall." I think they learned well.

Gunslinger said:

They've both seen the Wall, something I haven't yet. My son brought me a bumper sticker from their visit to DC: "The price of freedom is written on the Wall." I think they learned well.

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I'd say they get it. Toughest wall I've ever seen.