I have used Wilson Shok-Buff buffers in the Colt Delta Elite 10mm I used to own, and in my current Para Ordnance .45acp, and they work well. It has been y experience that they don't do much to take the first part of recoil (muzzle flip) but they DO greatly reduce the "thump" at the end of the slide cycle, and therefore reduce PERCEIVED recoil.
As for the grips, I prefer checkered grips, just because they give me a more secure grip, and I figure in a Self-Defense (or competition) situation, I want all the positive grip traction I can get...
Now either Fobus and ITac holsters, I know a lot of people who really like them, and if you have a firearm that you can't find a Serpa or big-name leather rig for, those brands often have holsters to fit--especially for the "Eastern Blok" handguns.
That said, I will not buy any products made in Israel (Both Fobus and ITac are made in Israel), because I refuse to support businesses in a nation that considers genocide an acceptable tactic to employ for domestic policy enforcement.
They're well-designed, reliable, rugged products if you don't mind the fact that they are--each and every one of them--covered in the blood of Palestinian and Sephardic children.