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Open Carry humor for a change...

amzbrady

amzbrady

Regular Member
Joined
Mar 1, 2009
Messages
3,521
Location
Marysville, Washington, USA
I was Open Carry while posting this.​
​
The Top Ten Reasons
Men Prefer Guns Over Women​
#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space..

#4. Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3. A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman....

#1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN​
 
jt59

jt59

Regular Member
Joined
Jul 19, 2010
Messages
1,005
Location
Central South Sound
More Humor

Seems a Texan failed to make a complete stop at a stop sign, and gets pulled over by a local policeman. The guy hands the cop his driver's license, insurance verification and vehicle registration, plus his concealed handgun permit.

"Okay, Mr. Jones," the cop says, "I see you have Concealed Handgun Permit. Are you carrying today?"

"Yes, I am."

"Well then, better tell me what you have."

Jones says, "Well, I have a .40 caliber Glock on my right hip and a .357 magnum revolver in the glove box. And, I've got a .22 derringer in my right boot."

"Okay," the cop says. "Anything else?"

"Yeah, back in the trunk, there's an AR15 rifle and a 12 gauge pump shotgun."

"Mr. Jones, are you on your way to or from a gun range?"

"Neither."

"Well then, what exactly are you afraid of?"

"Well officer,.......Not a dang thing..."
 
amzbrady

amzbrady

Regular Member
Joined
Mar 1, 2009
Messages
3,521
Location
Marysville, Washington, USA
An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he calls his grandson to his bed.

"You lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated 38 revolver
so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. Howzabout you leava me your
Rolex watch instead."

"Shuddup an lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business, you gonna have
a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple a bambinos.

Somma day you gonna coma home and maybe find you wife inna bed with another man. Whadda you gonna do then......pointa to you watch and a say, Times Up?"​
 
J

JoeSparky

Centurion
Joined
Jun 20, 2008
Messages
3,621
Location
Pleasant Grove, Utah, USA
jt59 said:
Seems a Texan failed to make a complete stop at a stop sign, and gets pulled over by a local policeman. The guy hands the cop his driver's license, insurance verification and vehicle registration, plus his concealed handgun permit.

"Okay, Mr. Jones," the cop says, "I see you have Concealed Handgun Permit. Are you carrying today?"

"Yes, I am."

"Well then, better tell me what you have."

Jones says, "Well, I have a .40 caliber Glock on my right hip and a .357 magnum revolver in the glove box. And, I've got a .22 derringer in my right boot."

"Okay," the cop says. "Anything else?"

"Yeah, back in the trunk, there's an AR15 rifle and a 12 gauge pump shotgun."

"Mr. Jones, are you on your way to or from a gun range?"

"Neither."

"Well then, what exactly are you afraid of?"

"Well officer,.......Not a dang thing..."
Click to expand...

In some areas and with SOME "opinion enforcement officers" the correct answer to the last question COULD have been, "I am only afraid of those who are intent on violating their oath to protect and defend the Constitution or my rights!"
 
T

Trigger Dr

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 3, 2007
Messages
2,760
Location
Wa, ,
Help Wanted

Local Bakery has an opening for a woman with only one tooth to put holes in the donuts
 
Squeak

Squeak

Regular Member
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
827
Location
Port Orchard,
Amz, I traded my 44 for TWO 22's. I think you got took in yer trade!.......But, that's just me! Heh,heh.
 
amzbrady

amzbrady

Regular Member
Joined
Mar 1, 2009
Messages
3,521
Location
Marysville, Washington, USA
Bumper Stickers...

Fight Crime, Shoot back.
Guns dont kill people, Huge holes in vital organs kill people.
It takes balls to shoot a muzzleloader.
Save paper, use living targets.
Gun control, means hitting your target

And...

Hillary Clinton, a Presidential Democratic Party candidate is for
banning all guns in America . She is considered by those who have
dealt with her as a little more than just a little self-righteous.

At a recent rural elementary school meeting in north Florida she
asked the kids audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, she
started to slowly clap her hands, once every few seconds. Holding
the audience in total silence, she said into the microphone, "Every
time I clap my hands, a child in America dies from gun violence."

A young voice with a proud southern accent (probably Little Johnny)
from the front of the crowd pierced the quiet. "Well, stop clappin,
ya stupid b@#$%!"
 
since9

since9

Campaign Veteran
Joined
Jan 14, 2010
Messages
6,964
Location
Colorado Springs, Colorado, USA
A squad of American soldiers was patrolling along the Iraqi border. To their surprise, they found the badly mangled dead body of an Iraqi soldier in a ditch along the road. A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, who was still barely alive. They ran to him, cradled his blood-covered head and asked him what had happened.

"Well," he whispered, "I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth."

"I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, "Saddam Hussein is an unprincipled, lying bastard!" He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, "Bill Clinton is an unprincipled, lying bastard!" "We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us."
 
amzbrady

amzbrady

Regular Member
Joined
Mar 1, 2009
Messages
3,521
Location
Marysville, Washington, USA
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic crazy with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises
Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Colt Model 1911 45 cal. automatic pistol, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?


Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

Redneck's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click
Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '
Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'
Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist
 
amzbrady

amzbrady

Regular Member
Joined
Mar 1, 2009
Messages
3,521
Location
Marysville, Washington, USA
Huge gaping holes around the world...

1. Kimberley Big Hole - South Africa

Apparently the largest ever hand-dug excavation in the world, this 1097-meter-deep mine yielded over three tons of diamonds before being closed.


2. Glory Hole - Monticello Dam, California

This is the Glory Hole at Monticello Dam, and it's the largest in the world of this type of spillway, its size enabling it to consume 14,400 cubic feet of water every second. A glory hole is used when a dam is at full capacity and water needs to be drained from the reservoir.

3 Great Blue Hole, Belize

This incredible geographical phenomenon known as a
blue hole is situated 60 miles off the mainland of Belize ..
There are numerous blue holes around the world
but none as stunning as this one.

4 Sinkhole in Guatemala
A sinkhole that occurred February 2007 in Guatemala . It swallowed two dozen homes and killed at least three people.


And the really terrifying one:

White House, Washington DC


#5. This is the famous “Rat Hole” that you have heard about. It is capable of swallowing trillions and trillions of U.S. dollars annually, never to be heard from again. It is reputed to contain at least 535 A"holes".
 
since9

since9

Campaign Veteran
Joined
Jan 14, 2010
Messages
6,964
Location
Colorado Springs, Colorado, USA
I think an amendment is in order...

amzbrady said:
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

Democrat's Answer:
Click to expand...

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the... No, wait! I haven't had time to thin..AARRRGGGLGGGLLLGLglghgughhh..hh...h..."
 
Last edited:
amzbrady

amzbrady

Regular Member
Joined
Mar 1, 2009
Messages
3,521
Location
Marysville, Washington, USA
Two men are sitting at the table reloading rounds and drinking beer.



Almost silently, so as not to make his friend lose count while loading grains, Bob says, 'I think I'm gonna divorce my wife... She hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months.'

Charles continues slowly sipping his beer then thoughtfully says,
'You better think it over, Bob. Women like that are hard to find.'
 
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