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Thread: A Tale of Two States

  1. #1
    Campaign Veteran since9's Avatar
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    A Tale of Two States

    New York

    The Governor Elect of New York is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A
    coyote jumps out, bites the Governor, and attacks his dog.

    1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi", then realizes he should stop, the coyote is only doing what's natural.

    2. He calls Animal Control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 for
    testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

    3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the state $200 for testing
    it for disease.

    4. The Governor goes to a hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for disease from the
    coyote and for getting his bite wound bandaged.

    5. The running trail is shut down for 6 months, while Fish & Game conducts their $100,000
    survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.

    6. The Governor next spends $150,000 in state funds, implementing a "Coyote Awareness" program for residents of the area.

    7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how
    to permanently eradicate the disease, throughout the world.

    8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not somehow stopping the attack and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.

    9. Additional cost to State of New York: $75,000 to hire and train a new security agent with
    additional special training re: The Nature of Coyotes.

    10. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files suit against the state.


    Arizona

    The Governor of Arizona is jogging, with her dog, along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.

    1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her state-issued pistol and keeps jogging.
    The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow-point cartridge.

    2. Arizona buzzards eat the dead coyote.


    No wonder New York is broke!
    The First protects the Second, and the Second protects the First. Together, they protect the rest of our Bill of Rights and our United States Constitution, and help We the People protect ourselves in the spirit of our Declaration of Independence.

  2. #2
    Regular Member cmdr_iceman71's Avatar
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    I love it! That was hilarious. lol
    "Firearms are second only to the Constitution in importance; they are the peoples' liberty's teeth." - President George Washington

    "Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

    "He that would make his own liberty secure, must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty, he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself." - Thomas Paine

  3. #3
    Regular Member OldCurlyWolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by since9 View Post
    New York

    The Governor Elect of New York is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A
    coyote jumps out, bites the Governor, and attacks his dog.

    1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi", then realizes he should stop, the coyote is only doing what's natural.

    2. He calls Animal Control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 for
    testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

    3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the state $200 for testing
    it for disease.

    4. The Governor goes to a hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for disease from the
    coyote and for getting his bite wound bandaged.

    5. The running trail is shut down for 6 months, while Fish & Game conducts their $100,000
    survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.

    6. The Governor next spends $150,000 in state funds, implementing a "Coyote Awareness" program for residents of the area.

    7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how
    to permanently eradicate the disease, throughout the world.

    8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not somehow stopping the attack and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.

    9. Additional cost to State of New York: $75,000 to hire and train a new security agent with
    additional special training re: The Nature of Coyotes.

    10. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files suit against the state.


    Arizona

    The Governor of Arizona is jogging, with her dog, along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.

    1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her state-issued pistol and keeps jogging.
    The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow-point cartridge.

    2. Arizona buzzards eat the dead coyote.


    No wonder New York is broke!
    With a few slight differences the second part already happened in Texas.
    I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do those things to other people and I require the same of them.

    Politicians should serve two terms, one in office and one in prison.(borrowed from RioKid)

  4. #4
    Regular Member Beretta92FSLady's Avatar
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    That is freaking awesome. NY needs to change its ways.
    I don't mind watching the OC-Community (tea party 2.0's, who have hijacked the OC-Community) cannibalize itself. I do mind watching OC dragged through the gutter. OC is an exercise of A Right. I choose to not OC; I choose to not own firearms. I choose to leave the OC-Community to it's own self-inflicted injuries, and eventual implosion. Carry on...

  5. #5
    Regular Member XD40coyote's Avatar
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    This was written as CA vs TX orginally. I was looking at a site- easterncoyotes.com or something and it was a bunch of MA liberalpetababble and seemed like there was a coyote love fest going on. So perhaps MA is the better state to bankrupt itself worrying about its 20% timber wolf DNA brush-wolf lovefests. I mean they even had captured mangey coyotes, rehabbed them then let them loose to go eat some more kitty cats and attack some more people walking their dogs. I mean WTH? Even here in MD, coyotes are on the short stick. DNR absolutely does not want sick coyotes around, and all nuisance controllers are required to kill any coyote, healthy looking or not, that have been captured when hired on a complaint. There is no live market trapping of them allowed either, you either kill the coyote in the trap, or let it loose right there where you caught it (and who would do that?).

    Anyway, MA can have their 50 pound coyotes, and their flooded roads from all the beavers.

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