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Thread: Nearing 50

  1. #1
    Campaign Veteran since9's Avatar
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    Nearing 50

    I may not look like the best one in the bunch, but I can out-think most of them, too!

    Meanwhile:

    Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

    1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

    2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first

    3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

    4. People call at 9 PM and ask,"did I wake you?"

    5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

    6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

    7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

    8. You can eat supper at 4 PM.

    9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

    10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

    11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

    12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

    13. You sing along with elevator music.

    14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

    15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

    16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

    17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

    18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

    19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

    20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

    I am trying my best to figure out ways of getting back at...

    Heh...
    Last edited by since9; 01-29-2011 at 05:38 AM.
    The First protects the Second, and the Second protects the First. Together, they protect the rest of our Bill of Rights and our United States Constitution, and help We the People protect ourselves in the spirit of our Declaration of Independence.

  2. #2
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    Number 6 is wrong.
    I found out the hard way that when I fall I can't get up without the help of at least 2 paramedics to help me.
    I found the hard way that when you have your feet up while in a recliner and a little bolt breaks in the mechanism and you can't get your feet back down, YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF THE RECLINER. Also the fire dept/paramedics don't know how to remove a window screen from the outside without destroying it so they can climb in the window to assist me because the door is locked.

  3. #3
    Regular Member KansasMustang's Avatar
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    Aw Since9 50 ain't so bad, really. Coming up on 60, now this might be a challenge. But the three things listed on the movie "The Bucket List" as things never to do,,now that's ultimate truth. LOL
    ‘‘Laws that forbid the carrying of arms... disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes... Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man.’’ Thomas Jefferson

  4. #4
    Regular Member KaosDad's Avatar
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    I could not read this without punching the browser's magnification up to 150%.
    "We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately." B. Franklin

  5. #5
    Campaign Veteran since9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KaosDad View Post
    I could not read this without punching the browser's magnification up to 150%.
    Oops! See, I'm forgetting things already!

    ETA: Oops, forgot again. Should be fixed now!
    Last edited by since9; 01-29-2011 at 05:37 AM.
    The First protects the Second, and the Second protects the First. Together, they protect the rest of our Bill of Rights and our United States Constitution, and help We the People protect ourselves in the spirit of our Declaration of Independence.

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