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Thread: O/T funnies

  1. #1
    Regular Member
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    May 2008
    Tacoma, Washington, USA

    O/T funnies

    veryone knows Murphy's Law: "Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong..." -
    Here are some other Laws you may not have heard of, including some I made up myself:

    Andy’s Law of Nature’s Call: The filthier your hands are, the stronger the need to go to the bathroom will be.

    Andy’s Law of Fasteners: The more inaccessible the location of a bolt or nut, the more “boogered up” the threads will be.

    Andy’s Law of the Shop Phone: The phone will only ring after you have begun to apply a fast curing adhesive, sealant, or epoxy.

    Andy’s Law of Arachnophobia: The more intricate, involved, and delicate the task, the bigger the spider will be that you suddenly notice is very near you.

    Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair: Your nose will begin to itch after your hands become coated with grease.

    Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible location.

    Lowery's Law of Home Repair: If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

    Beach's Law: Interchangeable parts aren't.

    Tussman's Law: Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.

    William's Law: There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.

    Lane's Law of Supply and Demand: The one item you need is always in short supply.

    Cannon's Kharmic Law: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning, you will have a flat tire.

    Martin's Law of Meteorology: The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.

    Ehrlich's Law: The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

    Norman Einstein's Law: If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

    Col. Murphy's Law of Combat: Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder!

  2. #2
    Regular Member Squeak's Avatar
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    May 2009
    Port Orchard,
    If you can't fix it with a hammer, it's an electrical problem.

  3. #3
    Regular Member amlevin's Avatar
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    Feb 2007
    North of Seattle, Washington, USA
    And then there's the hourly workers credo:

    "Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion."
    "If I shoot all the ammo I am carrying I either won't need anymore or more won't help"

    "If you refuse to stand up for others now, who will stand up for you when your time comes?"

  4. #4
    Regular Member 1911er's Avatar
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    Sep 2009
    Port Orchard Wa. /Granite Oklahoma


    Sailor's law= If it is movable put it away if not paint it grey

  5. #5
    Regular Member ghosthunter's Avatar
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    Jun 2008
    MOUNT VERNON, Washington, USA
    The six Ps Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance

  6. #6
    Regular Member
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    Aug 2010
    Richmond, Tx
    Nothing is foolproof to the sufficiently talented fool.

    Friendly fire isn't!

    Better to be incompatent than incontanent.

    Better to be flatulant than flacid.

    Never get in to a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

    It's usually best if the DA only has one story to listen to. (retired cop told me this!)
    Lower the crime rate by lowering the criminal survival rate!
    When people say 'God Bless America' I'm sure He says, "I gave you Texas!"

  7. #7
    Regular Member amzbrady's Avatar
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    Mar 2009
    Marysville, Washington, USA
    If you dont touch $h!t, you wont smell like $h!t...
    If you voted for Obama to prove you are not a racist...
    what will you do now to prove you are not stupid?

    "The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of "liberalism," they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened." - Norman Thomas

    "They who can who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve niether liberty nor safety." - Ben Franklin

  8. #8
    Regular Member skiingislife725's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Lake Stevens, WA

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