Welcome, new! Er, "Twiztid Angel!"
From what I gather, females are accosted by LEO much less often for legal OC than are males. Something about cops' "man+gun=trouble" mindset that seems to have been programmed into them during their stint at the academy.
When I began open carry, I thought I'd have all sorts of conflicts. To date, not really. Just a couple of benign discussions.
Ok. Pondering the benefits of either charge, I'd have to side with the .45. .410 is geared towards small game i.e. rabbit, grouse, etc. While in close quarters it might not be very pleasant, if you can fire a .45 JHP round from your Judge, I'd do that. Better stopping power. Please practice at the range with that load, and often. Just my 2 cents.