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ex-wife seeking sole custody becaise I open carry

ronswat_21

New member
Joined
Feb 18, 2011
Messages
2
Location
california
My ex-wife is seeking sole custody of our 3 year old son because I open carry in my home in Sacramento CA. We had a custody mediation and the mediator said that although I am lawfully allowed to do so, he believes that I am wrong for carrying at home around my child and he is recommending to the court that I keep my gun locked up at all times. I even handed him a copy of PC 12025 and 12026 which he just wrote off. When my son is not at my home I keep my gun on the nightstand while I am in bed. Is that legal? Also, I was Army Infantry from 2005-2009 with a tour in Iraq in 2007 (honorable discharge). I have been diagnosed with PTSD because I have nightmares. The mediator is using this against me saying that my PTSD is the reason that I carry a gun and that I need counseling. I can't afford an attorney. Does anyone know of a way to get an attorney pro bono or cheap? Am I in accordance with the law? Will the judge agree with me or rule based on opinion? I need help so any info would be much appreciated.
 

Grapeshot

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Joined
May 21, 2006
Messages
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Location
Valhalla
No one here is going to give you legal advice - might point you in the right direction though.

Most attorney's (here at least) will give you an initial consultation without charge. Never heard of an attorney doing a divorce/custody case pro bono and since it is a civil case not a criminal one, the state will not provide you with an attorney.

The unfortunate part of all of this is that you are in California where to many people "guns" is indeed a 4 letter word.

Wish you the best - it ain't fun.
 
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sudden valley gunner

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Dec 13, 2008
Messages
16,674
Location
Whatcom County
Did you open carry, before the split? Was that an issue with the wife then? If not it isn't going to hold water in court in my opinion.

My ex tried to bring up the gun issue and it was tossed out very quickly by the judge even though my lawyer (she did me no good) was actually on their side about the gun issue.

Your case is unique like every case, and I concur with the others get a lawyer if you can.
 

Heartless_Conservative

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 3, 2007
Messages
269
Location
, Oregon, USA
Your local Legal Aid office might be able to help too, although if it's anything like the one here they'll probably only give advice. They should be able to direct you to any other resources in the area though.
 
M

McX

Guest
this is offensive! A soldier, who served his country! A citizen who abides the law! In Cal. no less, where you cant even have a damn mag. in the gun, and the state itself seeks to strip him of his rights as a parent. I could just puke.
 

Blk97F150

Regular Member
Joined
Dec 21, 2010
Messages
1,179
Location
Virginia
(this is not legal 'advice')

What kind of neighborhood do you live in? Maybe you can get police reports of all the local robberies, home invasions, assaults, etc.... and use that info as your 'defense' to carrying at home? 'I only carry to protect myself and my family your honor...'.

Good luck with it. Hope that is goes well for you. Divorce with kids is no fun. Been there, done that.
 

45acpForMe

Newbie
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Messages
2,805
Location
Yorktown, Virginia, USA
Here are wishes for the best outcome.

I am in VA and went through a divorce and started OC-ing after the divorce & custody issues were settled. I still worried that my ex could at any time use any mistep by me to further a custody battle.

In VA (which is a very pro-2A state in many regards) I simply had to stay within the law to feel confident. BUT even in Virginia many divorce/custody arrangements are very much dependent on the judge that hears your case. For that reason I filed for divorce in the county my ex had moved to rather than the one I lived in. The judge here was known to be very pro-MOTHER and very anti-FATHER regardless of the facts.

So with all that said, alot will be determined on the judge. OC-ing is legal just like driving a car. As long as you follow the law in a car by using child seats, seat belts, your ex shouldn't be able to use it against you but kalifornication judges have been known to follow their own gods rather than the law.

God bless and a few prayers won't hurt.
 

45acpForMe

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Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Messages
2,805
Location
Yorktown, Virginia, USA
Thanx a lot for all the advice. I think I'll just keep it locked up for now.

There are the quick access small gun safes for a pistol or two for $100-$300 and Walmart used to sell a gun locker for about $100 that can hold a few long guns and several pistols. A gun locker won't stop a determined criminal from breaking into it but should be sufficient for children. It is definitely cheaper than a gun safe.

If you lock your gun up when it is not on your hip I would think that it should be good enough to alay any fears or safety concerns. Then again common sense doesn't seem to be too commong these days. :-(

Good luck.
 

Kirbinator

Regular Member
Joined
Jan 22, 2010
Messages
903
Location
Middle of the map, Alabama
Sue for an abrogation of your rights. Ask DHR's represenative for his personal view on guns, on record, then charge them with a bias or non-neutral viewpoint. Ask him, on record, if he is an expert in firearms ownership or safety. Does he have any professional qualifications that make him an authority on the safe ownership, operation, transportation, etc. of firearms? Bring or call a witness of a police officer. Ask that police officer what risk a three year old presents in terms of grabbing a pistol in a holster and removing it without the wearer's realization.

If DHR doesn't have any authority on firearms who has a neutral, non-pecuniary interest in the matter, then there is a miscarriage of justice.
 
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Grapeshot

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May 21, 2006
Messages
35,317
Location
Valhalla
Sue for an abrogation of your rights. Ask DHR's represenative for his personal view on guns, on record, then charge them with a bias or non-neutral viewpoint. Ask him, on record, if he is an expert in firearms ownership or safety. Does he have any professional qualifications that make him an authority on the safe ownership, operation, transportation, etc. of firearms? Bring or call a witness of a police officer. Ask that police officer what risk a three year old presents in terms of grabbing a pistol in a holster and removing it without the wearer's realization.

If DHR doesn't have any authority on firearms who has a neutral, non-pecuniary interest in the matter, then there is a miscarriage of justice.

IMO - one should never ask a LEO for such an opinion AND never ask for a response in court that of which you do not already know the answer. Expert witnesses are seldom free and in this situation the OP has indicated a lack of deep pockets, unfortunately.

That and judges have been known to legislate and/or penalize the honest citizen from the bench.
 

skidmark

Campaign Veteran
Joined
Jan 15, 2007
Messages
10,444
Location
Valhalla
I'm going to second the recommendation that you contact the folks over at CalGuns for guidance on understanding the Calif safe storage laws.

Have you contacted either the VFW or American Legion for assistance in finding an attorney? While they do not normally deal with child custody matters (except for active duty deployed service members) there are several factors regarding your personal situation that might work to your favor in getting some assistance through their efforts.

There are also several national organizations dealing with fathers' custodial rights. Do a Google search and follow up on what you find.

Do not publically answer these questions, but take them as a HINT: What, if anything, are you doing to deal with your PTSD issues? Will someone who is working with you appear in court on your behalf?

stay safe.
 

since9

Campaign Veteran
Joined
Jan 14, 2010
Messages
6,964
Location
Colorado Springs, Colorado, USA
"Sole custody" is almost always the starting point on both sides in a custody dispute. If you want to hold your 2A rights up higher than your custody or visitation rights as a father, that's entirely up to you. Regardless, that's the way the mediator appears to see it, and that's the way most courts will see it.

I sincerely doubt the mediator is actually ignoring either you or the law. A mediator's job is to attempt to settle things at the lowest level. If your ex is filing for sole custody on the basis you OC in the home, and you continue to do so, you'll have given her ample substantiation to elevate to the court, where the judgement is usually in favor of the mother, and where issues like firearms are involved, almost invariably in favor of the unarmed parent.

Right or wrong, that's simply the way it is. Question is: Are you willing to work within that framework, or are you going to try and fight a very large, generally anti-gun, anti-father system?

I can't give you legal advice. I can tell you what I'd do in that situation if I were you, as it was just five years ago when I was in precisely that situation (wife from Ca, I was in the military, stationed overseas). I ditched the guns. I hired a good lawyer and paid lots of bucks. As it was, I have good visitation rights, and that's been enough for me to have some serious parent and play time with my son!

This is one situation where "sticking to your guns" may loose you your sons.

There are the quick access small gun safes for a pistol or two for $100-$300 and Walmart used to sell a gun locker for about $100 that can hold a few long guns and several pistols.

The Winchester model I purchased from Wal-Mart prior to my son visiting the first time after I'd bought my first post-divorce firearm is Winchester Electronic Pistol Safe, model WM-180-7. It retails for just $50, but I got it on sale at $30. It requires both a combination as well as a key to open it. I installed it, and used it. Had objections been raised, I could honestly respond by saying "I keep my firearms securely locked in a safe approved by the State of California for securing firearms."

If you comply with your mediator's recommendation that you "keep [your] gun locked up at all times," you pull the rug out from beneath her arguement concerning sole custody.

At least on that issue.
 
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bradco

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 12, 2007
Messages
140
Location
Puerto Rico
Thanx a lot for all the advice. I think I'll just keep it locked up for now.

Unfortunate but I would approach this way as well, having my kid would outweigh any other options, but at the same time would check on a different resoltuion.
 

45acpForMe

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Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Messages
2,805
Location
Yorktown, Virginia, USA
....gun?....kid?....gun?....kid?....need I go on?

Do what you think you got to do.

:banghead: I own my guns to defend my kids! NEED I GO ON?

While I won't judge anyone elses choices when custody is involved it is ludicrous to think that a responsible parent who carries a gun is any danger to their child. Reality and all the unfairness in life may make the individual compromise their beliefs but that doesn't make the belief wrong.
 

anmut

Regular Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2010
Messages
875
Location
Stevens Point WI, ,
My ex-wife is seeking sole custody of our 3 year old son because I open carry in my home in Sacramento CA. We had a custody mediation and the mediator said that although I am lawfully allowed to do so, he believes that I am wrong for carrying at home around my child and he is recommending to the court that I keep my gun locked up at all times. I even handed him a copy of PC 12025 and 12026 which he just wrote off. When my son is not at my home I keep my gun on the nightstand while I am in bed. Is that legal? Also, I was Army Infantry from 2005-2009 with a tour in Iraq in 2007 (honorable discharge). I have been diagnosed with PTSD because I have nightmares. The mediator is using this against me saying that my PTSD is the reason that I carry a gun and that I need counseling. I can't afford an attorney. Does anyone know of a way to get an attorney pro bono or cheap? Am I in accordance with the law? Will the judge agree with me or rule based on opinion? I need help so any info would be much appreciated.

Sorry to hear that - mediation lawyers are pretty much pro-women. I've been through three in the course of 5 years and I swear they have something against a penis.
 

Venator

Anti-Saldana Freedom Fighter
Joined
Jan 10, 2007
Messages
6,462
Location
Lansing area, Michigan, USA
I'm going to second the recommendation that you contact the folks over at CalGuns for guidance on understanding the Calif safe storage laws.

Have you contacted either the VFW or American Legion for assistance in finding an attorney? While they do not normally deal with child custody matters (except for active duty deployed service members) there are several factors regarding your personal situation that might work to your favor in getting some assistance through their efforts.

There are also several national organizations dealing with fathers' custodial rights. Do a Google search and follow up on what you find.

Do not publically answer these questions, but take them as a HINT: What, if anything, are you doing to deal with your PTSD issues? Will someone who is working with you appear in court on your behalf?

stay safe.

Don't look for this American Legion post to help with firearm issues. they ban firearms. http://forum.opencarry.org/forums/showthread.php?87119-American-Legion-in-Bath-MI-bans-firearms
 
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