Please, Lord, God...

My son is at that formative age where he might choose to follow a better path, or a not so better path. I've done everything I can throughout his years to help him make the better choice. Unfortunately, I only have visitation 17% of the time.

Is it enough? God, I hope so.

When you take into account that even having full custody might not be enough to help him choose the right path...

Remember, the emphasis is on choose. Your son's choices. You can only do so much. Even God doesn't take the full weight of that responsibility on Himself.

Do what you can. And, keep the communications channels open so he feels safe talking to dad.

Citizen said:

When you take into account that even having full custody might not be enough to help him choose the right path...

Remember, the emphasis is on choose. Your son's choices. You can only do so much. Even God doesn't take the full weight of that responsibility on Himself.

Do what you can. And, keep the communications channels open so he feels safe talking to dad.

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What I bolded is the key to the whole situation. My daughter learned early on that she could, in confidence, talk to Dad about almost anything. After her mother and I split, that open channed became critical for her. She's now in her late thirties and she can, and does, still talk to me about things the we both know she could never tell her mother.

As one who has been through it, may I say that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your son?

since9 said:

My son is at that formative age where he might choose to follow a better path, or a not so better path. I've done everything I can throughout his years to help him make the better choice. Unfortunately, I only have visitation 17% of the time.

Is it enough? God, I hope so.

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I know what you mean, I worry about my daughter the same way. But the idea that you will be there to pick him up when he falls will let him know he can rely on you is one of the most important things that you can instill in him. In the long run, your son will emulate you as long as he respects and trusts you. All kids will make some bad decisions, but it is how we as parents deal with them that will make the difference in where they end up.

You seem like a good man to me, and I have faith that your son will know what you want for him. And I am sure that will have a lot to do with the choices he makes. Keep your head up man, and if you need to vent, just let me know.

You've done all you can. The world is vastly different from my own youth. When I was in high school, the main substance abuse issue was chewing gum in class. Today there are all manner of temptations, drugs, alcohol, sex, and all too powerful motor vehicles. This makes being a parent harder than ever.

My own kids went through their own issues and caused me much anguish. I recognized that at some point, I no longer had any control over them, and let them go. Their choices were their own, and some of those were frightening.

Today, my daughter is 22 and my son is 24. Both live on their own, have responsible jobs, don't drink, smoke, or drug. I couldn't be more proud of how they are living their lives.

You've done your best. The title of your initial post, "Please Lord, God... " is a prayer and a cry for God's help. By all means pray often for your son's safety. Don't forget to pray for God to give *you* the support and wisdom you need.

I'm a new dad, so I don't have any words of wisdom for you, but all you can do is be more than that 17%. Kids do notice when you really are trying even if they won't admit it or don't seem to care. It took me into my early 20's to really understand what my parents did for me and also to realize that they weren't perfect, but they did everything they could.

irish52084 said:

I'm a new dad, so I don't have any words of wisdom for you, but all you can do is be more than that 17%. Kids do notice when you really are trying even if they won't admit it or don't seem to care. It took me into my early 20's to really understand what my parents did for me and also to realize that they weren't perfect, but they did everything they could.

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I have some advice for you.

Until your children are adults and on their own, not one damn thing in your life matters more than them. Nothing. Endure everything to provide a stable, loving, and nurturing environment in which they can grow up. Everything.

All, thank you for your words of wisdom. You're absolutely right - keeping the line of communicationopenis the most important thing of all.

Thanks again for your kind words and your support.