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Thread: Why Handguns Are Better Than Spouses

  1. #1
    Regular Member jpm84092's Avatar
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    Cool Why Handguns Are Better Than Spouses

    #10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
    #9. You can keep one handgun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
    #8. If you admire a friend's handgun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
    #7. Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you keep another handgun for a backup.
    #6. Your handgun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
    #5. A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
    #4. Handguns function normally every day of the month.
    #3. A handgun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
    #2. A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
    And the number one reason a handgun is favored over a spouse
    #1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A HANDGUN


    Just saying...
    My cats support the Second Amendment. NRA Life Member, NRA Instructor: Pistol, Rifle, & Personal Protection - NRA Certified Range Safety Officer, Utah BCI Certified Concealed Firearm Permit Instructor.
    "Permission Slips" from Utah, Pennsylvania, Nevada, Arizona, and Florida. _ Verily, thou shalt not fiddle with thine firearm whilst in the bathroom stall, lest thine spouse seek condolences from thine friends.

  2. #2
    McX
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    verily, verily, i say unto you: the gun toting cat doth speaketh the truth!

  3. #3
    Regular Member theoicarry's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=jpm84092;1479589]#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
    #9. You can keep one handgun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
    #8. If you admire a friend's handgun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
    #7. Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you keep another handgun for a backup.
    #6. Your handgun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
    #5. A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
    #4. Handguns function normally every day of the month.
    #3. A handgun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
    #2. A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
    And the number one reason a handgun is favored over a spouse
    #1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A HANDGUN


    Just saying...[/QUO

    I will not go there at this time.
    The way that you wander is the way that you choose,
    The day that you tarry, is the day that you lose!

  4. #4
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    Humph! AND a reason why a handgun is better than a husband.....
    It doesn't have to wait 24 hrs. to shoot a second round...........!

  5. #5
    Campaign Veteran GLOCK21GB's Avatar
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    When you wake up, your sexy Glock still looks Sexy.

    Guns don't talk back

    Your gun does as it's told

    your gun won't "accidentally' get knocked up & screw you with child support

    Your gun still looks hot after 25 years

    Your gun won't get saggy, fat & bone ugly when it get's older

    your gun won't lose interest in you & get bitchy

    your gun won't say get that thing away from me when you go to insert a loaded magazine.

    you don't have to wine & dine it just to get it to work right

    your gun will always be faithful to you.

    your gun won't say not tonight

    When it come time to sell your old gun to your buddy, you won't get arrested for human trafficking.

    your gun won't screw your best friend

    your gun won't get jealous when you look at another gun

    Your gun won't divorce you & take half

    You can throw your gun against a wall or on the ground when it pisses you off & not go to jail

    your gun can't lie & claim you beat it , then take a restraining order out against you.

    Your gun won't ask you if it's ok if it brings home a Black guy

    your gun won't ask you totally dumb questions ALL the freeking time

    your gun won't leave blow dryers & long hairs all over the sink

    your gun won't bitch at you when you leave the toilet seat up - where it belongs

    your gun won't get pissy about you leaving the lights on

    your gun won't order you to pick up Tampons from the Store
    Last edited by GLOCK21GB; 04-17-2011 at 03:48 AM.
    http://youtu.be/xWgVGu3OR4U AACFI, Wisconsin / Minnesota Carry Certified. Action Pistol & Advanced Action pistol concepts + Urban Carbine course. When the entitlement Zombies begin looting, pillaging, raping, burning & killing..remember HEAD SHOTS it's the only way to kill a Zombie. Stockpile food & water now.

    Please support your local,county, state & Federal Law enforcement agencies, right ???

  6. #6
    Regular Member oliverclotheshoff's Avatar
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    your gun wont get mad if you let a woman use it
    SCOTT

    "When guns are outlawed only outlaws will have guns"

    "When seconds count police are minutes away"

    "Dialing 911 only takes seconds but waiting for help may take the rest of your life"

    http://g2-elite.com/phpbb/index.php Shed Hunting

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    Regular Member Outdoorsman1's Avatar
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    Your gun has the ability to even the score in a confrontation where you are out numbered...

    Outdorrsman1

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Outdoorsman1 View Post
    Your gun has the ability to even the score in a confrontation where you are out numbered...

    Outdorrsman1
    You do not know my wife!!

  9. #9
    Campaign Veteran GLOCK21GB's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phred View Post
    You do not know my wife!!
    does she wear a vest
    http://youtu.be/xWgVGu3OR4U AACFI, Wisconsin / Minnesota Carry Certified. Action Pistol & Advanced Action pistol concepts + Urban Carbine course. When the entitlement Zombies begin looting, pillaging, raping, burning & killing..remember HEAD SHOTS it's the only way to kill a Zombie. Stockpile food & water now.

    Please support your local,county, state & Federal Law enforcement agencies, right ???

  10. #10
    Regular Member oliverclotheshoff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glock34 View Post
    does she wear a vest
    my guess is she can shoot just as good as phred can
    SCOTT

    "When guns are outlawed only outlaws will have guns"

    "When seconds count police are minutes away"

    "Dialing 911 only takes seconds but waiting for help may take the rest of your life"

    http://g2-elite.com/phpbb/index.php Shed Hunting

  11. #11
    Regular Member MKEgal's Avatar
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    When this list showed up on another thread, I came up with the following rebuttal:

    Top Ten Reasons Women Prefer Guns Over Men

    #10 - You can buy a new 22 whenever you want... or several of them.

    #9 - You can keep a 9 & a 10 & a 22 & a 38 & a 40 & a 45 all in the same house.
    They won't fight, you won't get in trouble with the law, & you don't have to pick up after them.

    #8 - If you admire a friend's gun, she won't be upset.

    #7 - A gun fires more than once an hour.

    #6 - A gun won't fire until you want it to.

    #5 - A gun can stay locked away until you want to use it; you can have your fun then put it away again.

    #4 - Guns are there for you no matter the season or what's on TV.

    #3 - A gun will go wherever you want without complaining.

    #2 - A gun doesn't care what you look like.

    #1 - Guns don't snore.

    I posted that on my blog here on OCDO, and since9 added this list:
    Quote Originally Posted by since9
    11. A gun won't ask you to scratch its back three times a day.

    12. Guns neither belch nor fart.

    13. You never have to worry about a gun scratching its privates while you're trying to entertain company.

    14. Guns don't pick their noses in public.

    15. When you kick in your sleep, guns don't kick back.

    16. Guns don't leave beer-bottle rings all over the furniture.

    17. When you clean a gun, it stays clean.

    18. Guns don't leave the lights on in every room of the house.

    19. Guns don't clean out the fridge within 24 hours after you've shopped for groceries.

    20. Guns always like the same music and TV shows you do.

  12. #12
    Regular Member Outdoorsman1's Avatar
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    Its easier to open carry a sidearm than to open carry (some) spouses...

    Outdoorsman.
    "On the Plains of Hesitation bleach the bones of countless millions who, at the Dawn of Victory, sat down to wait - and waiting, died."

    George Cecil (18911970) American advertising copywriter

    Outdoorsman1
    Member: Wisconsin Carry Inc.
    Member: Silver Lake Sportsmans Club
    Wisconsin C.C.W. License Holder
    Utah State Permit Holder.
    Arizona State Permit Holder.

  13. #13
    Regular Member XDFDE45's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Outdoorsman1 View Post
    Its easier to open carry a sidearm than to open carry (some) spouses...

    Outdoorsman.
    Wisconsin Carry Member
    My Castle Doctrine Law

    Don't wish ill upon your enemy......plan it.

  14. #14
    Campaign Veteran GLOCK21GB's Avatar
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    I added a few more to my post
    http://youtu.be/xWgVGu3OR4U AACFI, Wisconsin / Minnesota Carry Certified. Action Pistol & Advanced Action pistol concepts + Urban Carbine course. When the entitlement Zombies begin looting, pillaging, raping, burning & killing..remember HEAD SHOTS it's the only way to kill a Zombie. Stockpile food & water now.

    Please support your local,county, state & Federal Law enforcement agencies, right ???

  15. #15
    McX
    Guest
    my guns dont snore.

  16. #16
    Regular Member Zeus's Avatar
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    I love both top tens I will print them out and hang em up at my work bench.
    When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.
    --Thomas Jefferson

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