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Thread: Had to show restraint.........

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    Regular Member Ricky's Avatar
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    Had to show restraint.........

    [BMe and the wife were just leaving a local Friday night dirt track race from Gastonia, N.C. While in the grass/dirt parking lot stuck in bumper to bumper as I had just strapped my 40 cal pistol on for the ride home as I could not take it in to the race I backed up VERY slowly to let a car slide in in front of me when I hear a loud drunk voice say apparently to his 10 yr old daughter and wife I assume "watch this guys backing up. Keep in mind only maybe 1 foot. I said politely sorry sir I lost you in my blind spot, maybe you should not walk in the middle of the road. Oh that set him off to a degree he walked over to my vechicle and said in a tone pointing "a shush" me....lol...I still was stuck in traffic bit my tongue and waited for his next move...IT never happened, For if he were to reach in my window and grab me the outcome could have been different for him in a bad way. At 6' 2" and 255lbs he was no match but in my mind I knew I had my pistol on so I used wisdom and held back leaving the outcome in his hand...He saw my size and I guess had a moment of thought himself...20-25 yrs ago I know where this would have went...With age comes wisdom,,,,Just thought I'd share as he had my blood up but reason prevailed......Good day,,,,Oh and racing was good too..........lol[/B]

  2. #2
    Regular Member Dreamer's Avatar
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    When we say "an armed society is a polite society", it is a two way street.

    People tend to be more polite to you when you are armed. That much is obvious.

    But I think WE tend to be a LOT more polite--even to rude, drunk, obnoxious, or stupid people--when we are armed. Carrying is a HUGE responsibility, and I, for one, know that I am MUCH more polite when I carry, because I know that PERCEPTION is everything, and I want to be perceived as peaceful, polite, and non-threatening.

    Sounds like you handled that situation well...
    It is our cause to dispel the foggy thinking which avoids hard decisions in the delusion that a world of conflict will somehow mysteriously resolve itself into a world of harmony, if we just don't rock the boat or irritate the forces of aggression—and this is hogwash."
    --Barry Goldwater, 1964

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    Regular Member Ricky's Avatar
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    Thanks Dreamer, I knew by his actions one more word from me would have provoked a confrontation so I just stood ready(or sat so to speak) keep in mind I was seated and he never knew I had a fire arm on my right hip. Being that he had a cooler larger than him and as many beers in him, I figured I'd bite my tongue and let him walk. Had he physically touched me then the whole game would have changed. I am a very calm guy by nature but am too glad this turned out like it did. And for the record this was the first confrontation I've been in so to speak with my firearm on my side..
    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamer View Post
    When we say "an armed society is a polite society", it is a two way street.

    People tend to be more polite to you when you are armed. That much is obvious.

    But I think WE tend to be a LOT more polite--even to rude, drunk, obnoxious, or stupid people--when we are armed. Carrying is a HUGE responsibility, and I, for one, know that I am MUCH more polite when I carry, because I know that PERCEPTION is everything, and I want to be perceived as peaceful, polite, and non-threatening.

    Sounds like you handled that situation well...

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    Regular Member sharkey's Avatar
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    That's one downside to driving with a firearm. No more stops to beat the crap out of someone.

    I remember the first time I denied myself a fight. I passed someone doing less than the speed limit, calmly, I might add, and they started flashing me and then sped up on my rear. I started to pull over, they did. Then I remembered the gun on my hip. I got back in the traffic lane and took off. Pissed me off.

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    well the way I see it... Don't put yourself in a situation..

    So drunk says watch out to his family...big deal... I would have never said anything back.... A reply is confrontational all by itself.. Nothing good can come from engaging a drunk..
    20-25 years ago the out come would be different..... Thats not a very calm guy...

    How foolish is it to just pull over and talk or fight over a traffic "near miss" ? really....

    I dont want anyone to think I'm attacking Ricky or sharkey... But it seems to be a way of life here in the south....

    In both situations had you used your firearm to "protect" yourself... You could have been considered the aggressor. Now your in jail for manslaughter.

    We need to change the way we perceive other peoples actions..
    Not everyone drives like a pro... not everyone is educated... not everyone knows how to control their drinking or their family walking through a parking lot...

    Again not a attack just me looking into the root cause of what happened...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamer View Post
    When we say "an armed society is a polite society", it is a two way street.

    People tend to be more polite to you when you are armed. That much is obvious.

    But I think WE tend to be a LOT more polite--even to rude, drunk, obnoxious, or stupid people--when we are armed. Carrying is a HUGE responsibility, and I, for one, know that I am MUCH more polite when I carry, because I know that PERCEPTION is everything, and I want to be perceived as peaceful, polite, and non-threatening.

    Sounds like you handled that situation well...
    I have found that when I carry I tend to be a lot more accepting and tolerant of the idiots on the road than I am when I am not carrying.

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    Regular Member elixin77's Avatar
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    I find i'm not as much of an A hole, and not as sarcastic as I can be. I've said it before, but when I carry, my gun feels like an attitude anchor, in that it helps keep me in line.
    Taurus PT1911 .45 ACP. Carried in condition 1, with a total of 25 rounds.

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    Quote Originally Posted by muccione View Post
    In both situations had you used your firearm to "protect" yourself... You could have been considered the aggressor. Now your in jail for manslaughter.
    Pulling over, maybe. Responding to a comment, no.

    Replying to someone is not provoking. And I am not responsible for the other persons actions if I respond to them unless I am intentionally provoking them. I don't buy the, "I'm armed so I have to be quite, passive, and submissive or it's my fault." I don't drive much different armed or not. If I need to hit the horn to get someones attention, I will. If I need to say something, I will. If they fly off the handle, that's their fault not mine.

    One of these days I'm going to read where someone says, "Man, I think he was more aggressive because I was trying to remain calm. If I had said something, maybe I would not have had to shoot him." My point, don't be so passive about acting that you are seen as a target.

    But don't be a jerk either.

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    Quote Originally Posted by chiefjason View Post
    Pulling over, maybe. Responding to a comment, no.

    Replying to someone is not provoking. And I am not responsible for the other persons actions if I respond to them unless I am intentionally provoking them. I don't buy the, "I'm armed so I have to be quite, passive, and submissive or it's my fault." I don't drive much different armed or not. If I need to hit the horn to get someones attention, I will. If I need to say something, I will. If they fly off the handle, that's their fault not mine.

    One of these days I'm going to read where someone says, "Man, I think he was more aggressive because I was trying to remain calm. If I had said something, maybe I would not have had to shoot him." My point, don't be so passive about acting that you are seen as a target.

    But don't be a jerk either.
    +1

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    +1 on many of the comments above and I find myself using a disarming smile frequently

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    I've had my share of wins and losses growing up, but...

    Always remember you have a lot more to lose in an avoidable fisticuffs than your straight nose.

    No one wants to deal with charges of disorderly conduct or assault. It is often quite challenging to explain your position after a fight to a police officer who is about as interested in the why and how as a grade school principal is after a playground scuffle. It's way easier to just lock up anyone who is breathing hard or has a torn shirt when an LEO misses the genesis and only sees the result of such an affray.

    In other words; it's probably not worth it.
    "In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot." - Mark Twain

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  12. #12
    Founder's Club Member ixtow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sharkey View Post
    That's one downside to driving with a firearm. No more stops to beat the crap out of someone.

    I remember the first time I denied myself a fight. I passed someone doing less than the speed limit, calmly, I might add, and they started flashing me and then sped up on my rear. I started to pull over, they did. Then I remembered the gun on my hip. I got back in the traffic lane and took off. Pissed me off.
    Maybe they just wanted to talk? I'm sure that's all that would have happened if you would have gotten out of the car with your gun.

    I don't like fights, either. I can count them all on one hand, and did my best to avoid them. But, I'm a 'lets see what happens' kind of guy... Some of the most entertaining conversations of my life came from such scenarios. Nobody got hurt.
    "The fourth man's dark, accusing song had scratched our comfort hard and long..."
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  13. #13
    Regular Member sharkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by muccione View Post
    well the way I see it... Don't put yourself in a situation..

    So drunk says watch out to his family...big deal... I would have never said anything back.... A reply is confrontational all by itself.. Nothing good can come from engaging a drunk..
    20-25 years ago the out come would be different..... Thats not a very calm guy...

    How foolish is it to just pull over and talk or fight over a traffic "near miss" ? really....

    I dont want anyone to think I'm attacking Ricky or sharkey... But it seems to be a way of life here in the south....

    In both situations had you used your firearm to "protect" yourself... You could have been considered the aggressor. Now your in jail for manslaughter.

    We need to change the way we perceive other peoples actions..
    Not everyone drives like a pro... not everyone is educated... not everyone knows how to control their drinking or their family walking through a parking lot...

    Again not a attack just me looking into the root cause of what happened...
    I don't feel attacked at all. I'm generally a pretty mellow guy but I am a man and do have testosterone. The good news is when I carry (open or concealed) I show more restraint than otherwise. Heck, I'll think hard about even honking the horn when carrying.

    That incident was years ago when I was just getting used to carrying, as soon as I realized how quickly things could escalate I left. I never finished pulling over, never stopped. To answer your question it is very foolish to pull over on a near miss. This wasn't a near miss, it was a person trying to goad me into a fight, it's foolish to pull over and talk or fight on that too.

    Today I kept my mouth shut to the guy with his pants hanging below his ass even though I really wanted to say something. He was shirtless too, I was wondering how he hides his gun like that.

  14. #14
    Campaign Veteran marshaul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sharkey View Post
    No more stops to beat the crap out of someone.
    Who does that?

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    Regular Member Ricky's Avatar
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    As someone said earlier I'm a calm guys my nature but would turn the cheek 100times to 1 UNLESS someone puts their hands on me then thats an assault to me or an attempt too. Their is actions for everything we do (even for the drunk) mouthing off to me. Keep in mind I was stuck in traffic like leaving the fair etc, and I could not just drive off at that moment. He walked up to my car window staying 1 arms length away mouthing off. I was ready to step out and give him his dues IF he had put his arm into my window at all. I don't care what the situation is (me carrying, which I could have easily removed my pistol and laid it in the floor on the way out of my vehicle) I'm not gonna let anybody smack me up side the head and get away with it. He was intoxicated and I was not. If the law needed to figure that out and we both went to jail so be it. Passive 100% of the time, I think I did the right thing at the time. You just had to be there, things happen fast and you make quick decisions fast. I would have driven off ASAP if I could but had to wait on traffic to move...The outcome was in the Drunks hand at that point....................
    Quote Originally Posted by sharkey View Post
    I don't feel attacked at all. I'm generally a pretty mellow guy but I am a man and do have testosterone. The good news is when I carry (open or concealed) I show more restraint than otherwise. Heck, I'll think hard about even honking the horn when carrying.

    That incident was years ago when I was just getting used to carrying, as soon as I realized how quickly things could escalate I left. I never finished pulling over, never stopped. To answer your question it is very foolish to pull over on a near miss. This wasn't a near miss, it was a person trying to goad me into a fight, it's foolish to pull over and talk or fight on that too.

    Today I kept my mouth shut to the guy with his pants hanging below his ass even though I really wanted to say something. He was shirtless too, I was wondering how he hides his gun like that.

  16. #16
    Regular Member sharkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marshaul View Post
    Who does that?
    Not me anymore.

  17. #17
    Campaign Veteran marshaul's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sharkey View Post
    Not me anymore.

  18. #18
    Regular Member sharkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by muccione View Post

    SNIP:

    How foolish is it to just pull over and talk or fight over a traffic "near miss" ? really....

    SNIP:

    In both situations had you used your firearm to "protect" yourself... You could have been considered the aggressor. Now your in jail for manslaughter.

    ...
    I guess it depends on the totality of the situation. Still agree it's foolish, just found a real life example for you.

    http://www.kold.com/Global/story.asp?S=14418810

  19. #19
    Regular Member Sc0tt's Avatar
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    This is where my less than lethal option becomes an option. If somone is being an ass I will be polite and do my best not to make the siutation any worse, however just becuase I have my gun on me does not mean I will be a complete coward.
    If somone puts there hands on my I have no problem giving them a face full of common sence (and by common sence I mean OC).
    Having an option between verbal and lethal should be required when OC. (Becuase when you carry engaging in a physical altercation is not an option, I love having that option once somone takes it to the next level to quickly defuse the situation by disabling the attacker)
    -----------------
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sc0tt View Post
    Having an option between verbal and lethal should be required when OC.
    Required by whom? Should the police enforce it? Should it be a criminal act for you not to do it?

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    Regular Member Sc0tt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mekender View Post
    Required by whom? Should the police enforce it? Should it be a criminal act for you not to do it?
    ok bad choice of words. It should be as highly recomended as carrying a voice recorder amungst the OC community.
    -----------------
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    Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum

    "A government that is big enough to give you everything you need is beg enough to take everything you have, the course of history shows that as government incresses - liberty decreases."


    LEGAL NOTICE: I am not a lawyer, no content in the above post should considered legal advice

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