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Thread: Once upon a time in a land ...not too far away..A Ferry tale

  1. #1
    Accomplished Advocate peter nap's Avatar
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    Once upon a time in a land ...not too far away..A Ferry tale

    Once upon a time, there was an Ogre, but a kind and gentle Ogre, who was accused of scaring Billy Goat Gruff.

    Since this happened in a public place with security cameras, the Ogre thought it a simple task to show he didn't do anything to Mr. Gruff, but call him an Old Goat.

    Alas, the camera footage was looked at and then destroyed.

    After a very long argument it was decided the Ogre was to write down his reasons he wasn't guilty of unlawful scaring and file it under the bridge by a certain date.

    When that date came and the Ogre went to the bridge, no one was there so he left it as directed by bridge law.

    The next morning the Harbor Masters assistant said it wasn't there even though the doors were still locked.

    A handsome videographer said, "No problem, they have security cameras", so the handsome videographer filed an FOIA for the video.

    Th next day, the Handsome Videographer got an urgent request for an extension by the Harbor Master saying....we don't know how to use the security system. We may have to bring the Smurf's that made it to view the footage.

    The handsome Videographer said "There are legitimate reasons to exempt yourself from the law but being stoopid isn't one of them".

    I'll read more of this Ferry tale tomorrow
    Last edited by peter nap; 06-13-2011 at 04:17 PM.

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    ROFL!!!!!!!


    I can hardly wait for the next installment of this ferry tale....
    "Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Benjamin Franklin

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    Regular Member SouthernBoy's Avatar
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    "Handsome Videographer"

    Ahh, one doth profess too much, perhaps???



    (now you know I couldn't let that one go by)
    Last edited by SouthernBoy; 06-13-2011 at 05:56 PM.
    In the final seconds of your life, just before your killer is about to dispatch you to that great eternal darkness, what would you rather have in your hand? A cell phone or a gun?

    Si vis pacem, para bellum.

    America First!

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    OMG!! I think I'm gonna like this story!

    Are you sure about the 'handsome Videographer' part though??

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blk97F150 View Post
    OMG!! I think I'm gonna like this story!

    Are you sure about the 'handsome Videographer' part though??
    he didn't want to confuse the ferry tale by having two ogres

  6. #6
    Activist Member Wolf_shadow's Avatar
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    Like the story so far. But as Southernboy said"Handsome Videographer"

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    Regular Member Mr H's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by peter nap View Post
    Once upon a time, there was an Ogre, but a kind and gentle Ogre, who was accused of scaring Billy Goat Gruff.

    Since this happened in a public place with security cameras, the Ogre thought it a simple task to show he didn't do anything to Mr. Gruff, but call him an Old Goat.

    Alas, the camera footage was looked at and then destroyed.

    After a very long argument it was decided the Ogre was to write down his reasons he wasn't guilty of unlawful scaring and file it under the bridge by a certain date.

    When that date came and the Ogre went to the bridge, no one was there so he left it as directed by bridge law.

    The next morning the Harbor Masters assistant said it wasn't there even though the doors were still locked.

    A handsome videographer said, "No problem, they have security cameras", so the handsome videographer filed an FOIA for the video.

    Th next day, the Handsome Videographer got an urgent request for an extension by the Harbor Master saying....we don't know how to use the security system. We may have to bring the Smurf's that made it to view the footage.

    The handsome Videographer said "There are legitimate reasons to exempt yourself from the law but being stoopid isn't one of them".

    I'll read more of this Ferry tale tomorrow
    No, Daddy!!! Read more!!

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    Regular Member 45acpForMe's Avatar
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    Silly Rabbi

    This story reminds me of an old breakfast cereal joke.

    Three tridds lived in peace on one side of a bridge. A troll lived under the bridge and would kick any tridd that tried to cross to the greener field on the other side. A Rabbi walking towards the bridge saw each of the three tridds try to cross the bridge and each in turn got a good kick in the rear from the troll. Needing to cross the bridge the Rabbi braced himself and asked the troll if he could please cross the bridge. "Of course!", said the troll and the Rabi cautiously walked by the troll across the bridge. At the far side of the bridge the Rabbi turned around and asked the troll why he didn't kick him? The troll responded, "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for tridds!". :-)

    Now substitute "skid" for "tridd" above!

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    Great story!

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    Once I saw the thread title and who authored it... I knew it was going to be a good one! Thank you for the good laugh! Keep the "fairy tale" coming! LOL!

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    Quote Originally Posted by 67GT390FB View Post
    he didn't want to confuse the ferry tale by having two ogres
    Now that's funny, I don't care who you are!

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    Regular Member MSC 45ACP's Avatar
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    Need I jump on the bandwagon? This IS funnychit.
    "If I know that I am headed for a fight, I want something larger with more power, preferably crew-served.
    However, like most of us, as I go through my daily life, I carry something a bit more compact, with a lot less power."
    (unknown 'gun~writer')

    Remington 1911 R1 (Back to Basics)
    SERPA retention or concealed...

    "Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not." ~Thomas Jefferson
    (Borrowed from "The Perfect Day" by LTC Dave Grossman)

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    Quote Originally Posted by peter nap View Post
    I'll read more of this Ferry tale tomorrow
    Where is more of the fairy tale? Sorry, I am 8.5 hours ahead and nothing else better to do when it is 110 degrees outside! LOL!

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    Regular Member SouthernBoy's Avatar
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    We need the next segment. This is good stuff.
    In the final seconds of your life, just before your killer is about to dispatch you to that great eternal darkness, what would you rather have in your hand? A cell phone or a gun?

    Si vis pacem, para bellum.

    America First!

  15. #15
    Accomplished Advocate peter nap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SouthernBoy View Post
    We need the next segment. This is good stuff.
    OK, OK....but it has to be a short chapter. Busy week..

    The handsome videographer didn't trust the Harbor Master or the Blue Meanies so he went on one of his frequent road trips with a very small magic memory device (MMD).

    First, he looked at the bridge to make sure which entrance the Ogre had had his papers delivered to. (There is another character involved that is the representative of the Ogre, but more on him later).

    The MMD showed this entrance:


    Then the Handsome Videographer looked for any security cameras that may have captured one of the Blue Meanies taking papers which of course would be a violation og Bridge Law 18.2-472.

    According to the MMD, there are three but one is secret.





    The handsome Videographer spoke to many people that day while the MMD heard all, Saw all and remembers all.

    Later, he remembered a fellow hero he had met. This hero rode a Golden Wing and was an expert in Video Security systems.
    After speaking to him he suggested the Videographer seek the Make and model of the security system so he could best pull the manufacturers manual.

    With this information, we would be able to lift the curtain and cure the Harbor Master of the Stoopids.

    The night before the Videographer was to cure the stoopids, he saw the Ogre at dinner.
    The Ogre roared "I AM NOT KIND AND GENTLE, GET IT RIGHT".

    OK,OK fussed the Videographer, the darned details are killing me.

    So he now is getting the information for the Golden Wing Expert and telling everyone he had spoken to that the Ogre was not kind and gentle, he had to take a break and plant Sweet Potatoes though.

    ..........................More Next week

    Special note:
    This is being written with Dragon Speak that sometimes does strange things and I don't have time to correct them. Please be patient.
    Last edited by peter nap; 06-15-2011 at 11:46 AM.

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    I can't wait to see how this story turns out!
    Daniel L. Hawes - 540 347 2430 - HTTP://www.VirginiaLegalDefense.com

    By the way, nothing I say on this website as "user" should be taken as either advertising for attorney services or legal advice, merely personal opinion. Everyone having a question regarding the application of law to the facts of their situation should seek the advice of an attorney competent in the subject matter of the issues presented and licensed to practice in the relevant state.

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    Activist Member Wolf_shadow's Avatar
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    Dang I can't get to the Dragons lair from way over here in unicorn land. I need more! Please Please Please.

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    Moderator / Administrator Grapeshot's Avatar
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    I too like this story. but wish that the chapters weren't so long. Think I will have to close my closet door, so the monsters won't get out when I'm asleep.

    By the time the morrow comes, the new batch of troll juice should be ready for delivery - they get so excited when they see it coming - dancing their own, strange little jig.

    Sleep tight 'n night night, I'll leave the hall light on.
    You will not rise to the occasion; you will fall back on your level of training.” Archilochus, 650 BC

    Old and treacherous will beat young and skilled every time. Yata hey.

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    Yaaaa! This is some great reading here on the shores of Kerplakistan (Actually, there really aren't shores here, but you get the point)! Can't wait for more on the "Representative of the Ogre", for he must be a great battle commander who will smite at the heart of the evil coalition! Great fairy tale!

  20. #20
    Accomplished Advocate peter nap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DocDaddy View Post
    Great ferry tale!
    Fixed it for you.

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    Moderator / Administrator Grapeshot's Avatar
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    Pokey, proddy araise Lance Sirlot. We ride this morning!!
    You will not rise to the occasion; you will fall back on your level of training.” Archilochus, 650 BC

    Old and treacherous will beat young and skilled every time. Yata hey.

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    One question I have is this: will the armies of the distant King be interested in investigating? Or would they side with and support the local lord, using the pretext of investigation as a way of screwing up the Ogre? Imperial politics is such a difficult thing to read, especially when there are dragons involved.
    Last edited by user; 06-16-2011 at 09:59 AM.
    Daniel L. Hawes - 540 347 2430 - HTTP://www.VirginiaLegalDefense.com

    By the way, nothing I say on this website as "user" should be taken as either advertising for attorney services or legal advice, merely personal opinion. Everyone having a question regarding the application of law to the facts of their situation should seek the advice of an attorney competent in the subject matter of the issues presented and licensed to practice in the relevant state.

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    Quote Originally Posted by peter nap View Post
    Fixed it for you.
    Ah yes, Thank you my good Lord Handsome Videographer!

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    "Listen my children and you shall hear...,"

    Peter, fill in the rest please..., I'm about to have an accident.

    sidestreet

    we are not equal, we will never be equal, but we must be relentless.

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    § 18.2-472. False entries or destruction of records by officers.

    If a clerk of any court or other public officer fraudulently make a false entry, or erase, alter, secrete or destroy any record, including a microphotographic copy, in his keeping and belonging to his office, he shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor and shall forfeit his office and be forever incapable of holding any office of honor, profit or trust under the Constitution of Virginia.

    Link: http://lis.virginia.gov/cgi-bin/legp...0+cod+18.2-472
    He wore his gun outside his pants for all the honest world to see. Pancho & Lefty

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