Hey Dumbbe11s, Im glad you posted this experience. With all the time we (the collective UOC we) spend preparing for carry and watching out for LE and school zones, etc... I think you bring up an excellent topic that needs to be discussed and worked on more so than the others, and that is we are trying to convince the general public to deprogram what they have learned from anti gun propoganda and see the message we are trying to portray. Rights as Americans and our responsibilities to ourselves and our family as well as our community, that like freedom of speech and the press and religion, are just as important as freedom and responsibility to defend ourselves.
So here is what I cued in on that might be important from your description, The lady ASKED YOU PERMISSION to ask you a question. SO whether she is pro or anti gun she showed that a) in front of an armed individual who was to her a stranger she was polite and cordial to you, b) if she had any fear, her curiosity was stronger and she wished to engage in conversation with you about something she wanted to know more about. c) despite your appearance or size she was not intimidated.
This is the opportunities that I believe many UOC'rs are just not that prepared for or have NOT done enough role playing to be an effective ambassador for gun rights. If you look at my signature line below, Gene sums up nicely what we are dealing with and how we are viewed by many.
Know not knowing her affect or her non verbal language and body cues or even the tone of her voice at the beginning of this interaction, its difficult to pigeon hole or place her in any mindset or political category as far as personal stance or belief systems, I know monday morning quarterback we can come up with all sorts of negative and shoulda coulda, but here is my list of things I do when contacted by citizens while open carry. Please anyone feel free to comment or add your own.
1) Smile- be genuine and relaxed and smile at the person you are talking to show them that your disposition is friendly. In fact smile at everyone who makes eye contact with you while carrying, it is the best and sometimes only ambassaor of goodwill gesture we can make.
2) Positiviely answer the question- be prepared with the brief statement that best describes your personal reasons, that allow for follow up questions and conversation, my example---"I carry for self protection, because California wont allow citizens to carry conceaeled" I leave it plain and simple with limited info that encourages engagement in conversation.
3) Introduce yourself- if the person engages in conversation (follows up with question or comment even if its negative) stop, introduce yourself, extend your hand, be cordial and neighborly. Demonstrate the opposite idea of what many people believe gun people are just political gun nuts with attitudes. ALWAYS strive to be more friendly and cordial with the person interacting with you (especially LE). It has a disarming effect and uses just a bit of guilt to get the other to match you or feel inadequate, its a verbal judo technique and its very powerful, LE uses it all the time.
4) Compliment them- pay them a compliment, I like to use "Thank you for being so open and honest, most people tend to just stare or leer at me and judge me by appearance rather that finding out for themselves." This one comment not only validates that engaging in conversation was the right and decent thing to do it also serves to teach that many people in this world are still very biased and judgemental and the person talking to you is not, and should not want to be such.
5) ALWAYS ask if they want to hear about the civil rights movement regarding UOC- If they are a fence sitter or even slightly leaning toward anti gun, giving them the opportunity to graciously drop out of the conversation, saves you time and energy and allows them to not feel overtly pushed by "a gun nut with an agenda" which is what you will be affirming if you push the conversation on them. If they answer in the affirmitive and want to engage in conversation then pull out your pamphlets, talk about the truth vs the propoganda, give them all the facts you have prepared and memorized. Just dont overwhlem them, give them enough, to encourage them to ask for more, when they have had enough they will indicate to you they are full, and you can stop before sounding overzealous. The goal is to have them leave, questioning any sort of anti gun lies they have been brainwashed with, and the experience of an encounter with a genuinely nice, decent, regular American, who just happend to be armed.