A tale of OC'ing in portsmouth :banghead:

hi, all. my first post, so take it easy on the OC.org newbie

i'll lead off with this;

i was confronted at the dollar general in Cradock last week with my wife and kids. the cashier lady was upset that i was open-carrying in the store. i was walking up to the checkout stand with my items when she stopped me in the aisle.
she asked me if i was a cop. i said 'no', and then she said that me having that gun in her store bothered her and made her uncomfortable and that she wanted me to leave.
i asked her if she knew what the DG store policy was on firearms or if there was a sign on the store front permitting firearms. she shrugged her shoulders and then went to look on the store front windows for a sign. ... there was no sign.
i tried to convince her to the opposite of her opinion while my wife paid for the items, but it was pointless.
i asked her if she knew of the second amendment and if she knew of VA's gun policy. i even showed her my CWP and photo ID but all my efforts were fruitless. her closed-mindedness and unwillingness to even listen was very frustrating.
my final statement to her was that i questioned her sanity.

my wife was upset with me that i made such a 'big deal' about it. basically it was an uncomfortable situation for her to watch and be involved in. what she was most upset about was that i vented to her about it right after we left.

now, i've been confroted by rent-a-cops, waitresses, and restaraunt manger's before, but they all have been either willing to compromise (let me tuck it in) or had a policy and stuck to it. but none of them were as hard-headed as this lady was. dealing with stupid people can make things so frustrating. i think i'm spolied at my job by not dealing face-to-face with the stupidity of the general public in my everyday work hours. it is only in my free-time that i get to enjoy such a privlige. lol

i callled back the other day, and spoke with a DG shift-manager. she had heard about me and said that thier policy was that there is no policy, but it is just up to the clerk. that sounds like a load of CRAP to me. if they are gonna kick me out of the store, then i'd rather not be let in.
i will either tuck it in and conceal it, leave it in my car or just go elsewhere if that is thier policy.

i'll have to get ahold of a store/general manager and dig deeper. i doubt it is just that they have 'no policy'
i'd think that the shift manager was trying to back up her employee. surprisingly there are no contact #'s on DG's website.
until i do i plan to CC in that store. if i blouse my shrit and CC; i won't make anyone feel uncomfortable about me abiding the law and minding my own business.



what could/should i have done differently?

WELCOME! to the site, Nilla. Sorry to hear you had this negative experience. I will advise against leaving your firearm in the car unless absolutely necessary. Good job on your attempt to open her mind to the situation.

First off welcome to OCDrg.

You will probably be told by a number here to never request signs. Also as privately owned property if you are asked to leave, do so immediately, or you are risking a trespassing charge. My response would have been to hand the clerk the items I was planning on purchasing, and walk out. Then go to a competitor and purchase the items, and send a copy of the receipt to the manager with a note about loosing the sale and why.

If you do not have one get a digital recorder that can be kept in your pocket, will record for the whole day, and can be downloaded to your computer.

Again welcome.

General Tips

Welcome! Lots of knowledge on here.

Some tips:
don't even mention a sign unless one already exists. If a sign gets posted, then CC is no longer available as an option.


don't patronize anti-gun establishments. Always be prepared to leave and go somewhere else.


don't leave to put your gun in your car, and then return to give them your money


consider not OCing to places where you suspect you may encounter trouble with friends/family in tow unless they share your dedication


record everything







How were you dressed?

leave it in my car

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WORST IDEA EVER. Give no business! why be defenceless and leave $100's of dollars in a car that criminals could snatch! :banghead:

Hey welcome! dinner coming up in a week http://forum.opencarry.org/forums/s...n-Roads-9-15-Olive-Garden-Greenbrier-mall-7pm

Welcome to OCDO and the life of an OCer.

Being a newbie you automatically get kid glove treatment. But it does not mean you get a free pass. I'm glad you are willing to ask what you should have (might have) done differently. Take a deep breath.

As has already been mentioned, once you are asked to leave you do so. You may mutter under your breath, or shout to the heavens as you head immediately towards the exit and cross the threshold. Just consider which one you want folks (especially your wife and kids) to remember and constantly bring up.

Please don't ask them to post signs.

Please don't ask the line staff about store/corporate policy - that's what management is for. You may have to go back in person the next day, and may have to go back unarmed until you know for sure what the policy is. Once you sort it out with management (that was your objective - finding out information and not going in to lecture them about the Second Amendment, right?) they can deal with straightening out their employees. It also helps when you can tell the manager that you are such a law-abiding citizen that as soon as the cashier asked you to leave you did so, regardless of how you felt about being asked to leave when you felt you had done nothing wrong. You can ask them to call in the employee and verify that you were unaggressive and immediately left - if your behavior was such that you want the manager to hear about it with you sitting there. And you know the manager will hear about it whether you are there or not! (I get the feeling that your conversation with the manager was over the phone. You lose a lot of opportunities when you are not there face to face.)

There is no "rule" about how to deal with someone who says that [] having that gun in her store bothered her and made her uncomfortable and that she wanted me to leave. But often telling them (in a non-sarcastic tone) that you are sorry that the presence of the handgun bothers them and then quickly and in as few words as possible explaining why you carry (I carry to protect myself and my family over there <points to wife and kiddies>) does a lot more towards a positive outcome than trying to convince her to the opposite of her opinion while my wife paid for the items ... or ask[ing] her if she knew of the second amendment and if she knew of VA's gun policy... or show[ing] her my CWP and photo ID ... and certainly more positive than "my final statement to her was that i questioned her sanity".

As you mentioned, the experience was frustrating. But our objective ought to be to educate and to win over folks, not make demands regarding their behavior and not to insult them.

A final statement - your Right to Keep and Bear Arms is one against the government. Private property owners, including business owners who invite the public onto their property, have no restriction against telling you your gun is not allowed. Your recourse, should you not be able to convince them to alter their policy, is to not patronize them.

I applaud and encourage you resolve to "dig deeper" into the matter. But please remember that your objective is to make DG believe that all OCers (as represented by you) are law-abiding citizens who are polite and respectful of the rights of others just as they (you) hope DG will be towards you (the rest of us OCers).

stay safe.

I strongly agree with Skid. You want to be the best ambassador for OC that you can be and not allow your frustration to get the better of you and be punitive or pushy.

If you can't get people to change themselves from inside, it's best to just not go there and avoid giving them 'clues' (like post signs) or ideas, or make it harder for the next person who might try to OC who really needs a HG (an old timer, a female, or a disabled person) to help level the playing field.

$.02

Most Clerks back down very quickly if you ask for the number for the store/regional manager while holding your cell phone.

Wolf_shadow said:

First off welcome to OCDrg.

You will probably be told by a number here to never request signs. Also as privately owned property if you are asked to leave, do so immediately, or you are risking a trespassing charge. My response would have been to hand the clerk the items I was planning on purchasing, and walk out. Then go to a competitor and purchase the items, and send a copy of the receipt to the manager with a note about loosing the sale and why.

If you do not have one get a digital recorder that can be kept in your pocket, will record for the whole day, and can be downloaded to your computer.

Again welcome.

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Do this

What Skid said.
+1
Also.. get some Open carry cards.. they end up being a third party resource that you can reference and had out for the person to read later so they don't have to admit they were wrong right in front of you.

http://www.dollargeneral.com/helpde...tore&subdisplay=contact&stillHaveQuestion=yes

To contact our Customer Service Department by phone, please call 877-463-1553.

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Corporate Office 100 Mission Ridge ■ Goodlettsville, TN 37072

Per Google Maps their main # is (615) 855-4000 .

paramedic70002 said:

http://www.dollargeneral.com/helpde...tore&subdisplay=contact&stillHaveQuestion=yes



Corporate Office 100 Mission Ridge ■ Goodlettsville, TN 37072

Per Google Maps their main # is (615) 855-4000 .

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Yes, DG HQ is in my neck of the woods. What you encountered is an anti working for DG and not someone representing their policies. I OC in DGs all over Nashville (Goodlettsville is one of our suburbs). According to several DG managers I've spoken with, DG's policy is to follow state law for customer carry.

skidmark said:

There is no "rule" about how to deal with someone who says that [] having that gun in her store bothered her and made her uncomfortable and that she wanted me to leave. But often telling them (in a non-sarcastic tone) that you are sorry that the presence of the handgun bothers them and then quickly and in as few words as possible explaining why you carry (I carry to protect myself and my family over there <points to wife and kiddies>) does a lot more towards a positive outcome than trying to convince her to the opposite of her opinion while my wife paid for the items ... or ask[ing] her if she knew of the second amendment and if she knew of VA's gun policy... or show[ing] her my CWP and photo ID ... and certainly more positive than "my final statement to her was that i questioned her sanity".

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I am serious with this question and not trying to be flip.

I've asked it before and I'll ask it again. Why answer them or acknowledge them at all? Why answer any questions? Why give any explanation. Why answer any question from a drone in a smock? It is absolutely none of their business what your occupation is.

These haters of freedom are obviously keyed up enough to confront a stranger with a handgun. They are not looking for explanations or debate. They will not have a change of heart because of the OCer's pleasant charisma or demeanor. They only wish to impose their twisted rage and will on the hapless OCer.

Picturing the OCer as some sort of ambassador during this part of a confrontation seems a bit overly optimistic to say the least. Now how the OCer handles the manager and corporate after the negative encounter is a different story.

HandyHamlet said:

I am serious with this question and not trying to be flip.

I've asked it before and I'll ask it again. Why answer them or acknowledge them at all? Why answer any questions? Why give any explanation. Why answer any question from a drone in a smock? It is absolutely none of their business what your occupation is.

These haters of freedom are obviously keyed up enough to confront a stranger with a handgun. They are not looking for explanations or debate. They will not have a change of heart because of the OCer's pleasant charisma or demeanor. They only wish to impose their twisted rage and will on the hapless OCer.

Picturing the OCer as some sort of ambassador during this part of a confrontation seems a bit overly optimistic to say the least. Now how the OCer handles the manager and corporate after the negative encounter is a different story.

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There is much truth here. If these folks were really half as scared as they claim to be, then they wouldn't even come near you, much less confront you about it.

TFred

i will either tuck it in and conceal it, leave it in my car or just go elsewhere if that is thier policy.

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In other words you will capitulate to their demands and shop there anyway.

deanf said:

In other words you will capitulate to their demands and shop there anyway.

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Hey Man, in Nilla's FIRST post here on OC.org he clearly states that he is an OC newbie. Your ideas would be more effective with positive advice on how he can do things better and possibly reasons behind them. He also very clearly stated he is open to opinions/ideas to improve. Just my opinion that none of your contribution provided this.

Lincoln7 said:

.... He also very clearly stated he is open to opinions/ideas to improve. Just my opinion that none of your contribution provided this.

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Obviously you didn't read what Skidmark said (just to give one example in this thread). I've only personally met Skid one time and found him to be a pleasant and interesting dinner 'host', for want of a better description. I've also read many things he says on OCDO, and here I've found him to very often be the voice of reason. In my opinion he gave some excellent advice as to how Nilla could improve and, better yet, why that particular improvement is a good idea. Just my $0.02

Welcome to the site!

The one thing no one mentioned is never show your CHP. You shouldn't even have one...but it has NOTHING to do with OCing.

t33j said:

How were you dressed?

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jeans and a polo t-shirt. work boots and baseball cap

t33j said:

How were you dressed?

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clean, work jeans and a logo'd cotton polo short-sleeve. work boots and baseball cap