New girlfriend disapproves of OC, as well as anything gun-related

"she'd rather be with her dog"

ShooterMcGavin said:

I have offered to take her shooting many times. I have shown her a gun just a couple times and, even though she knew I was bringing one out, she still almost lost it. She ran behind me and grabbed my shoulders, to ensure that she was behind me, as I tried to show her that the gun contained no "bullets" and it was safe. She won't touch a gun. She just told me that she will let me know when she wants to learn about guns.


Fair enough. That was more than a month ago, at this point. Again, we'll see where things go


She does compromise too, about our plans and driving to my house when she'd rather be with her dog. I understand your point though.

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"she'd rather be with her dog" Kinda says it all...

carracer said:

"she'd rather be with her dog" Kinda says it all...

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Good point When she leaves for the weekend, the dog doesn't eat. She feels guilty about that. Maybe I should have said "when she'd like to be with her dog".

In the past, I have been pretty hard-headed and rigid about things, when it comes to relationships. I am trying to change that, but I know that I can only go so far.

I did actually buy a gun "for" her. I wanted something that she would feel comfortable with, besides a .22, that she could have if she wanted. Bersa Thunder 380. It's not hers yet. I haven't told her that I bought it for her, but she can have it when she wants to learn to shoot it.

I'm a single guy, so if/when I meet someone I will be OC'ing. So she will know right away about my way of "thinking" up front. Maybe try taking her shooting with a .22 rifle to start. Also they have a "Women on Target" class at Cabelas. They also have loaner .22 pistols. Good luck, you are going to need some patience and baby steps.

How much time are you willing to invest to change her mindset???

or you could tel her this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j91k62cyiIY

You've been with her this long, which in a way is progress. A safety class is definitely in order. Would help take away the "might just go off" way of thinking.

ShooterMcGavin said:

Speaking of that... I thought I HAD chosen wisely. I chose a woman who told me that she had no fear of firearms (among her many other great virtues)

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If she lied to you about that, is she really who you think she is?

Difdi said:

If she lied to you about that, is she really who you think she is?

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I asked her about that. She told me that she didn't know that I was that "into" guns and that I carried all the time. She thought I was asking if she's afraid of guns carried by cops, as one example (her words). She told me that she thinks that guns are fine, as long as they are locked in the safe *rolling-my-eyes*

Wobbles said:

You've been with her this long, which in a way is progress. A safety class is definitely in order. Would help take away the "might just go off" way of thinking.

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I can't even show her a gun without a lot of drama. If I'm carrying, it's seemingly ok now, but she wouldn't touch a gun. I think there is a long ways to go before she would accept a safety class.

It was weird, the first time I showed her a gun. She was sitting on the bed and she knew I was going to bring a gun out. I brought the gun out, pointing in a safe direction, laying flat in the palm of my hand (I thought that would be less threatening). She jumped up on the bed and started asking me what I was going to do. I told her that I will show it to her and show her that it is empty. As I got over to the bed and sat down, she grabbed my shoulders and got behind me. Every time I tried to turn to show her the empty chamber, she would push my shoulders so that I couldn't turn, staying behind me the whole time. She was completely afraid that the gun was going to go off.

Yes, I am still spending my time with her. If she told me "no more carrying guns", trust me, we wouldn't have gotten this far!

My wife has never shot a gun. We were going to buy a Ruger LCP for her, until I lost my job. She is willing to shoot, but not my Glock 22. She is still a little afraid but not afraid enough to handle my pistol (while holstered) if I ask her to bring it to me.

This next statement is about the girlfriend situation.

My first wife never compromised on anything, gathering from what you have said she is foxy! My ex-wife was foxy also. However, the non compromising ways were too unbearable with several issues (personal...sorry) but I did have to divorce her. I did not come to this decision lightly. So there you have it. If she will not compromise...sorry....BYE BYE!

My wife now of 8 years is awesome. I love her so much.

ShooterMcGavin said:

Worse than having my OC restricted is the feeling that I am with a woman who doesn't fully support me.

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This.

Difdi said:

If she lied to you about that, is she really who you think she is?

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And this.
She lied to you from the get-go, & isn't supportive... is actually against some things you feel strongly about.

ShooterMcGavin said:

I think there is a long ways to go before she would accept a safety class.
... She was completely afraid that the gun was going to go off.

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This is a big problem.
She doesn't have to like the things,
or want to shoot,
but she MUST understand how they work so she's not afraid & doesn't have an ND if you're ever careless about leaving a loaded gun out of your immediate control.
(You're in the shower, she moves your clothes for some reason...?)

Point her to www.corneredcat.com and at least get her to understand the 4 rules.
See if you can find a women-only class, or a female instructor to do a very very basic safety lesson, no shooting, maybe even no handling.
If I lived anywhere near you I'd work with her myself. (NRA pistol instructor)

Get her to read the part I bolded up there, & learn at least the basics (no hysterics allowed!).
It's for her safety.

In my dating days I went out for over 3 months with someone who knew I carried. One night I asked her what we should do and she left it up to me, so I took her to the gun range. She shot everything I put in front of her. That night when I dropped her off I was told I had an "unhealthy obsession with guns" and we were through.

M1Gunr said:

In my dating days I went out for over 3 months with someone who knew I carried. One night I asked her what we should do and she left it up to me, so I took her to the gun range. She shot everything I put in front of her. That night when I dropped her off I was told I had an "unhealthy obsession with guns" and we were through.

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I think the only "unhealthy obsession with guns" is an un-rational fear of them or criminals using them.

ShooterMcGavin said:

Good point When she leaves for the weekend, the dog doesn't eat. She feels guilty about that. Maybe I should have said "when she'd like to be with her dog".

In the past, I have been pretty hard-headed and rigid about things, when it comes to relationships. I am trying to change that, but I know that I can only go so far.

I did actually buy a gun "for" her. I wanted something that she would feel comfortable with, besides a .22, that she could have if she wanted. Bersa Thunder 380. It's not hers yet. I haven't told her that I bought it for her, but she can have it when she wants to learn to shoot it.

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Being flexible in a relationship is good but changing a core part of your beliefs isn't. Having rational discussions about the issue and putting it out there that you aren't going to change how you feel and act about/with guns is probably not a bad idea. I wish you well.

It sounds to me like this gal has a lot of growing up to do. I find the freaking out and hiding behind you to be the reaction of a child. Also the lack of support for you is not a good sign.

This is not limited to women, guys. I have met/had coffee with some nice guys and I was up front about the gun issue, among other things. I never heard from them again. I am beginning to think that I am living in the wrong part of the state. This is one thing I absolutely will not compromise on. If it's the guns or the guy, the guy goes! If the man I am with doesn't care about me enough to support me protecting my life then he is definitely not the man for me.

Time to retrain her, or get a new girlfriend.

ShooterM, your doing something wrong!!! :uhoh:
I am Texan, I still live in Texas, so let me explain why she acts that way and has no clue about guns.
See, he in Texas is was actually illegal the carry a handgun in public until 1996 when Susan Hupp suceeded in getting Texas Concealed Carry.
Since then, gun laws have done nothing but revolved around the Concealed Carry license. With the exception of a couple of State Legislatures who made great effort to address the right to carry in your vehicle, Texas Does Not Have a presence of firearms. Everything is Concealed, so how would the poor girl know??? She simply never witnessed firearms carry before.
Now if your thinkin Texans and emagining guns on your hip and 10 gallon hats on your head, then please stop watching cartoons... Bwaaha...:lol:

I meet lots of nice Texas ladies all the time. One thing I noticed is I seem to have a conversation about "Self Defense" a lot>>>... Women are very intersted in self defense. I have even met a few hippie chicks who become very interested in self defense. "Im not saying I never run across flaming liberals, because I do". I just refuse to wast precious moments out of my life looking at some idiotic flaming idiot.

When you start discussing the ability a woman should have to defend herself for the negativity in "civilized" sociaty, they become more interested.
Try sharing news stories with your new friend. Look for the most current crimes in your area that were committed against women. Share those stories with here, then ask her if she would like to visit a gun range with you....
You dont have to force those rights on anyone, but make sure your helpful in allowing the person to undertand those right are hers too.

Maybe

I'm a different breed....


Maybe I'm not listening....

Blame it on my A.D.D. baby


Sail!

Sail!

Sail!

More often than not, it is not about the guns.

It is about control, her over you. Today it is the guns, tomorrow it may be that ratty old T-Shirt you love or your car that is now "too old" to be reliable. IMO, there is only one eay to deal with a woman like this. Kick her to the curb and start dating again. If you haven't dated hundreds of women then you haven't started to find the one that is right for you.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

bob

M1Gunr said:

In my dating days I went out for over 3 months with someone who knew I carried. One night I asked her what we should do and she left it up to me, so I took her to the gun range. She shot everything I put in front of her. That night when I dropped her off I was told I had an "unhealthy obsession with guns" and we were through.

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You have got to give that woman credit for firing everything you threw at her. That is some lol material. :lol::lol::lol: