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Thread: Super funny e-mail i recieved at work today!!!!

  1. #1
    Regular Member Christopher's Avatar
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    Super funny e-mail i recieved at work today!!!!

    Posted on craigslist personals:

    To the guy who mugged me downtown (downtown, Savannah)

    I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded i hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You alsoasked for my girlfriends purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap your
    pants when i drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, i was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside.
    My girlfiend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holsterfor it that evening.
    Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking pack towherever you came from with that brown sludge flopping around in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your
    shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of
    calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your
    card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then i threw the wallet itself
    in a dumpster.

    I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your next bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down
    the line, and i've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so i don't know whats going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut
    off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it, oh well.

    So, about your pants. I know that i was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so i'd like to make it up to you.
    I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so i would like to help you out. I would like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants.
    What brand sis you use, and what is liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home
    humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.

    If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!

  2. #2
    Founder's Club Member thebigsd's Avatar
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    So in this fictional story the guy responds to the bad guy's criminal act by committing criminal acts of his own? Not as funny as you think it is.
    "When seconds count between living or dying, the police are only minutes away."

  3. #3
    Regular Member Christopher's Avatar
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    Yes but it's a joke and i thought this was the social lounge. Lighten up please

  4. #4
    Founder's Club Member thebigsd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christopher View Post
    Yes but it's a joke and i thought this was the social lounge. Lighten up please
    Sorry, I didn't mean to come across so harsh. I do see the humor in it.
    "When seconds count between living or dying, the police are only minutes away."

  5. #5
    Regular Member Christopher's Avatar
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    It's cool man.

  6. #6
    Campaign Veteran skidmark's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christopher View Post
    It's cool man.
    It's also made the rounds before. It's probably old enough to get a driver's license, if not actually buy a firearm from a FFL.

    And I still smile every time I read it.

    stay safe.
    "He'll regret it to his dying day....if ever he lives that long."----The Quiet Man

    Because stupidity isn't a race, and everybody can win.

    "No matter how much contempt you have for the media in all this, you don't have enough"
    ----Allahpundit

  7. #7
    Regular Member Christopher's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skidmark View Post
    It's also made the rounds before. It's probably old enough to get a driver's license, if not actually buy a firearm from a FFL.

    And I still smile every time I read it.

    stay safe.
    Lol, i guess im not ahead of the times, first i heard of it.

  8. #8
    Founder's Club Member thebigsd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christopher View Post
    Lol, i guess im not ahead of the times, first i heard of it.
    Not your fault, Skid played chess with Abraham Lincoln. He remembers quite a lot...
    "When seconds count between living or dying, the police are only minutes away."

  9. #9
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    I can see making the phone call to Momma.

    "Your son just tried to rob me. He dropped his phone and ran off. If he does it again, you will be burying him."

    I would think that the prospect of being shot would be enough to convince anyone who is inclined to commit a violent crime from committing one again. You can push the police around, to some extent, and make a scene (looks great on C.O.P.S.)... but a private citizen with a gun WILL shoot.

    This is why I've never understood why we as a country tolerate so much. In Germany, if you mouth off to a cop, he just gives you a quick rap to the head and knocks you out. We don't do that here. We physically move people around, restraining them against their will, rather that taking the easy way out and cuffing them while they are unconscious.
    It takes a village to raise an idiot.

  10. #10
    Moderator / Administrator Grapeshot's Avatar
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    Even the Social Lounge is subject to OCDO rules.

    Still the story does bring a "poetic justice" smile.

    Yes Skid did play chess w/Honest Abe and beat him - I know 'cause I was there along with Peter Nap.
    You will not rise to the occasion; you will fall back on your level of training. Archilochus, 650 BC

    Old and treacherous will beat young and skilled every time. Yata hey.

  11. #11
    Regular Member SFCRetired's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grapeshot View Post
    Even the Social Lounge is subject to OCDO rules.

    Still the story does bring a "poetic justice" smile.

    Yes Skid did play chess w/Honest Abe and beat him - I know 'cause I was there along with Peter Nap.
    I think I've got all three of you beat. My son says the only thing around here older than I am is the dirt!!

    I love that story just because it is "poetic justice". IRL, the guy doing those things would probably face some major charges. Would I do such a thing? I'll never tell.

  12. #12
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    SFC...

    ... Do you know where the bodies are buried?
    It takes a village to raise an idiot.

  13. #13
    Campaign Veteran skidmark's Avatar
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    SFCRetired -

    You do know that Peter Nap, Grapeshot and I were on the feasability committee studying dirt? And that two of us voted against the notion. All those farmers out there can be thankful that we were not the only members of that committee.

    stay safe.
    "He'll regret it to his dying day....if ever he lives that long."----The Quiet Man

    Because stupidity isn't a race, and everybody can win.

    "No matter how much contempt you have for the media in all this, you don't have enough"
    ----Allahpundit

  14. #14
    Regular Member SFCRetired's Avatar
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    @ Kirbinator: I've always known where the bodies were buried. Hint: Lot of folks have gone into the Tombigbee River swamps and Mobile River delta and never came back out.

    @skidmark: And just who do you think chaired that committee? Had to have a Senior Army NCO to keep things running smoothly.

    Nice when we can have fun, isn't it? This is one of the things I miss about active duty; we were always serious about the job, but we also had fun with doing that job. Remind me to tell y'all the story about the Battalion Commander who got goosed with the front sight of a M16 at night in German woods.

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