New airport chat-downs!!!

Fallschirmjäger said:

SNIP "Nah, it's a big trunk, I'm pretty sure she's still alive. You have a good day, Officer."...

Click to expand...

ROFL!!!

OK, this one goes in the Hall of Fame!

skidmark said:

SNIP What they need is a really good PR campaign explaining that they know all the stuff they have done up to this point has been worthless and annoying and that they are now going to try to do the one thing that has a history of actually working.

Click to expand...

What they need is gainful employment at something that actually contributes to society.

The effing security questions can be handled by local police, or even better: paid private security specialists hired by the airport, airlines, or insurance industry. It doesn't take a whole new, massive, federal agency, complete with 57 layers of bureaucrats and four bottemless wells of wasteful spending.

I would pretend to be a deaf mute and make them write the questions out, and then write the answers with a bit of confusion tossed in for good measure. :lol:

Citizen said:

SNIP complete with 57 layers of bureaucrats and four bottemless wells of wasteful spending.

Click to expand...

Coming from you, I'd expect better. Check your facts. There are now 59 layers of bureaucrats, 7 bottomless wells and 14 new paper-pushers.

oak1971 said:

I would pretend to be a deaf mute and make them write the questions out, and then write the answers with a bit of confusion tossed in for good measure. :lol:

Click to expand...

One could just pretend they only speak Swahili. ;D

Posted using my HTC Evo

Should I fly and be asked such a question I think my answer will be "2 weeks".

thebigsd said:

Coming from you, I'd expect better. Check your facts. There are now 59 layers of bureaucrats, 7 bottomless wells and 14 new paper-pushers.

Click to expand...

I'm sorry.



--WANTED--

Fact checker. Long hours. Attention to detail. Intense pressure to get it right. No room for error.
Non-existent pay. Immediate opening for dedicated, qualified individual. Previous fact-checker died in office when an error was discovered after publication. Fax resume to 867-###-####.

Trip to Vegas:

TSA: Where are you headed?

Me: To gate 13.

TSA: No, I mean where's your destination?

Me: Well, the flight's going to Vegas.

TSA: What's your destination?

Me: Vegas, same, same as the airplane.

TSA: What's the purpose of your visit?

Me: To spend money.

TSA: On what?

Me: Entertainment.

TSA: What kind of entertainment?

Me: Gambling.

TSA: And how long do you plan to stay?

Me: As long as I have money.



Trip to Florida:

TSA: Where are you headed?

Me: To gate 13.

TSA: No, I mean where's your destination?

Me: Well, the flight's going to Orland.

TSA: What's your destination?

Me: Orlando, same, same as the airplane.

TSA: What's the purpose of your visit?

Me: To spend money.

TSA: On what?

Me: Entertainment.

TSA: What kind of entertainment?

Me: Amusement parks.

TSA: And how long do you plan to stay?

Me: As long as I have money.


Visit to Oregon:

TSA: Where are you headed?

Me: To gate 13.

TSA: No, I mean where's your destination?

Me: Well, the flight's going to Portland.

TSA: What's your destination?

Me: Portland, same, same as the airplane.

TSA: What's the purpose of your visit?

Me: To spend money.

TSA: On what?

Me: Entertainment.

TSA: What kind of entertainment?

Me: Microbreweries.

TSA: And how long do you plan to stay?

Me: As long as I have money.


Visit to Lake Tahoe:

TSA: Where are you headed?

Me: To gate 13.

TSA: No, I mean where's your destination?

Me: Well, the flight's going to Lake Tahoe

TSA: What's your destination?

Me: Lake Tahoe, same, same as the airplane.

TSA: What's the purpose of your visit?

Me: To spend money.

TSA: On what?

Me: Entertainment.

TSA: What kind of entertainment?

Me: Skiing.

TSA: And how long do you plan to stay?

Me: As long as I have money.


If everyone memorizes this script, they'll soon tire of asking these questions.

great one since9............har-har-har!

thebigsd said:

In a world of ever-increasing government interference, TSA agents will soon be asking where you are going and why? None of their business, I say.

Story from USA Today

Click to expand...

So do I.

skidmark said:

While I understand why we (yes, I include myself in this) are upset with the intrusive questioning, it actually has a better chance of identifying an actual terrorist bent on causing harm to the airplane and the people presently waiting to fly inside that airplane. El Al has been using this style of pre-flight checking to catch bombers and other nutjobs instead of pornoscopes and probulating passengers. And they have actually caught them before they got on the plane and scattered the passengers and luggage all over the landscape from 35AGL.

TSA is going to be behind the 8-ball forever due to their utter failure to accomplish anything except annoying and inconveniencing passengers for years. What they need is a really good PR campaign explaining that they know all the stuff they have done up to this point has been worthless and annoying and that they are now going to try to do the one thing that has a history of actually working. Seeing as how that's still going to come across as "I'm from the government and I'm here to help you" they will have a real hard time selling it. But the first time they surround some swarthy-complected dude wearing too much clothing and who seems to be about 3 sizes bigger above the waist than below, who has been looking around like a cat on rollerskates in a rockingchair marathon and sweating bullets every time anybody looks at them, then we all might start accepting this new program.

stay safe.

Click to expand...

What TSA is not doing is what the Israelis do and focus on those most likely to be terrorist, i.e. male Muslims aged 18-45. Without doing this, anything TSA does is a waste of time.

In my opinion, a male Muslim shouldn't get on an American airplane without a 24 hour notice, full background investigation, fingerprinting, DNA sample and retinal scan.

FTG-05 said:

What TSA is not doing is what the Israelis do and focus on those most likely to be terrorist, i.e. male Muslims aged 18-45. Without doing this, anything TSA does is a waste of time.

In my opinion, a male Muslim shouldn't get on an American airplane without a 24 hour notice, full background investigation, fingerprinting, DNA sample and retinal scan.

Click to expand...

Wow! :uhoh: Welcome to East Berlin.......... Thankfully the U.S. government isn't allowed to do that. If you want that you should get on board with getting rid of the TSA oh, and you'd have to repeal the civil rights acts as well.

I agree, I don't want to see such measures taken.

I also do not believe in the great ever present threat of terrorism. Is there a chance of terrorist action? Yes, and there always will be. Is the threat so dangerous that it requires the amount of security currently in place? Absolutely not.

Posted using my HTC Evo

Jack House said:

I agree, I don't want to see such measures taken.

I also do not believe in the great ever present threat of terrorism. Is there a chance of terrorist action? Yes, and there always will be. Is the threat so dangerous that it requires the amount of security currently in place? Absolutely not.

Posted using my HTC Evo

Click to expand...

And federal security acting with police powers including qualified immunity protecting private property...

Daylen said:

And federal security acting with police powers including qualified immunity protecting private property...

Click to expand...

Indeed beyond lawful police powers... unreasonable search and seizure... no warrant and no probable cause.

I am at DCA right now waiting for a flight. No chat down but security was ticked because people kept coming up to the person checking IDs. She kept telling them to stand behind the sign. The sign had nothing on it to tell them to wait here.

Tony4310 said:

Crap like this is why I refuse to fly. If a car can't take me there. I must not need to go there.

Click to expand...

I'm not flying again until the risk of radiation goes down. Sure, you get cosmic and gamma rays at 33,000 ft, but getting a large dose of X-rays at the airport every flight isn't worth it. Unless they are capturing information that can be used by my medical provider later, I don't see any reason to take extra X-rays.

Where are you headed sir?

Hi, I have a testicular implant, do you think it will be a problem going through security?

I do not know sir, you'll have to ask once you get up to security. Where and for what purpose are your travels.

But, if my new testical is going to be a problem, I'd like to know now

Ok ok, just go up to security



Officer, I have a testicular implant and I don't think it can go through that scanner

In that case, we will need to pat you do and inspect your lugauge.

I warn you, since my new testical is on the right, we may need to remove my colonoscupy bag next to it. Sorry it's full, I didn't get a chance earlier.

XD40-OD said:

Where are you headed sir?

Hi, I have a testicular implant, do you think it will be a problem going through security?

I do not know sir, you'll have to ask once you get up to security. Where and for what purpose are your travels.

But, if my new testical is going to be a problem, I'd like to know now

Ok ok, just go up to security



Officer, I have a testicular implant and I don't think it can go through that scanner

In that case, we will need to pat you do and inspect your lugauge.

I warn you, since my new testical is on the right, we may need to remove my colonoscupy bag next to it. Sorry it's full, I didn't get a chance earlier.

Click to expand...

Appreciate your humor but it is NOT a "colonscupy" but rather a "colostomy"! LOL

JoeSparky said:

Appreciate your humor but it is NOT a "colonscupy" but rather a "colostomy"! LOL

Click to expand...

Fortunately they shouldn't know the difference.