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Thread: My BF3 review

  1. #1
    Campaign Veteran Schlitz's Avatar
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    Exclamation My BF3 review

    So while playing the BF3 beta I wrote a review for it. It became a popular thread and now after googling it I find that tons of people have copy pasted my review word for word and claim credit. Not that I'm at loss of money or anything...just kinda erks me that my "funnies" are attributed to other people. Just type in google "BF3 shoeless joe jackson" and see what comes up. I found people with my quotes in their forum sigs attributed to individuals who are NOT me.

    The original thread I wrote destroying EA and DICE was eventually closed down after becoming 24 pages long in one day, but that didn't stop the copy cats out there. The whole review can be read in the OP here who claims to have found it online, but doesn't claim credit to himself.

    http://fsfa.org/index.php?option=com...hp&f=27&t=2093

    I leave you with this link instead of re-posting the review here due to the language used.

    Anywho, it's cool I made an impact on the BF3 community...unfortunately the credit is diluted to a bunch of random people... anyone else ever run into this?

    So what do you guys think of battlefield 3?
    Last edited by Schlitz; 10-29-2011 at 03:30 AM. Reason: grammar
    “The claim and exercise of a constitutional right cannot be converted into a crime.”
    [Miller vs. U.S., 230 F. Supp. 486, 489 (1956)]
    “There can be no sanction or penalty imposed upon one because of his exercise of constitutional rights.”
    [Sherar vs. Cullen, 481 F2d. 946 (1973)]

  2. #2
    Campaign Veteran Schlitz's Avatar
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    battlefield 3

    Quote Originally Posted by Schlitz the original review author....get at me...
    -Perfect time to snipe that guy, wait till his stamina runs out and see if he goes for cover before moving up or if he pushes through it at a slower pace... OH WAIT- IT'S SHOELESS JOE JACKSON RUNNING AT 30 MILES PER HOUR, WE JUST HOLD DOWN SHIFT AND WE ******* RUN LIKE FOREST GUMP TRYING TO SAVE BUBBA AND LT DAN FROM THE JUNGLES OF VIETNAM
    This appears to be the most popular 'funny' quote around the BF3 community.
    Last edited by Schlitz; 10-29-2011 at 03:22 AM.
    “The claim and exercise of a constitutional right cannot be converted into a crime.”
    [Miller vs. U.S., 230 F. Supp. 486, 489 (1956)]
    “There can be no sanction or penalty imposed upon one because of his exercise of constitutional rights.”
    [Sherar vs. Cullen, 481 F2d. 946 (1973)]

  3. #3
    Regular Member Jack House's Avatar
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    Nope, can't say that I have. I can say that the BF3 campaign is ******* me off. How is it that no matter what I do, the enemy always knows exactly where I'm at? I hate that crap. Making it so that they automatically know where you are and always fire only on you is a cheap trick to make the game more difficult. It's BS.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack House View Post
    Nope, can't say that I have. I can say that the BF3 campaign is ******* me off. How is it that no matter what I do, the enemy always knows exactly where I'm at? I hate that crap. Making it so that they automatically know where you are and always fire only on you is a cheap trick to make the game more difficult. It's BS.

    Same thing happens with call of duty. I found Arma 2 to be quite realistic if you're looking for a combat simulator. Battlefield 3s multiplayer is quite fun though.


    Sent from my HTC EVO

  5. #5
    Regular Member Jack House's Avatar
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    Yeah, but with CoD it's more run and gun by design.

    Posted using my HTC Evo

  6. #6
    Regular Member DrakeZ07's Avatar
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    SP is awesome.
    MP is boring... I go into a server and my whole team gets teleported to a room filled with C4... lol... Hmm, anyone up for a OCDO or OC BF3 platoon/squad?
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  7. #7
    Campaign Veteran Schlitz's Avatar
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    Zomg bf3 is so real

    Quote Originally Posted by Jack House View Post
    Yeah, but with CoD it's more run and gun by design.

    Posted using my HTC Evo
    No in game voice.... can't create a squad with friends/forced to be in a random squad with random people with no mics....yea... bf2 MP is awesome O_o

    it's like they took all the amazing crap from BF2 that made gameplay awesome and stripped it from BF3..

    Quote Originally Posted by Schlitz
    battlefield 3 is like...so real...if you play for more than 3 hours and take of your headset you'll have a 'high and tight'
    bf3 is like, so real, if you play at least one round you need to wash your hands before you eat, so like, you don't ingest gun powder residue.
    bf3 is the most realistic game, when you play it, like, you need to wear ballistic sun glasses, like, ballistic for obvious reasons, but the lasers in the game actually come through your monitor and ruin your corneas
    bf 3 is so realistic, it comes with an expelled 5.56 shell casing taped to the disk, you like, tape it under your nose when you play so all you smell is gun powder, so effin' real bro...so real...
    bf3 is so effin real bro, it's like when you get free time after running 30mph on foot, your CD tray pops out with the vegetarian omelet MRE and you have to eat it so you can keep sprinting...
    bro, BF3 is so real, since the beta came out 233 players have been diagnosed with PTSD
    BF3 is so real, when you walk outside you go effing BLIND while your in game pupils adjust to the sun light. so real...
    the most realistic part of BF3 is how a sniper can BLIND you with a flash light from 1,000yds away. completely acceptable when it comes to realism.
    bf3 is so real, since playing the beta, i like, you know, wake up at night sweating thinking I'm fighting russians in the middle of afganistan....when I say russians i obviously mean spetsnaz forces, that's realistic bro.

    Bf3 is like so real, people don't even know, when they accept the terms of service while installing they are actually enlisting in the marines for 6 years...its so real bro...
    bro, after playing BF3 all night if you turn your light on you'll find a foxhole next to your chair...good night grunt, so real bro.
    “The claim and exercise of a constitutional right cannot be converted into a crime.”
    [Miller vs. U.S., 230 F. Supp. 486, 489 (1956)]
    “There can be no sanction or penalty imposed upon one because of his exercise of constitutional rights.”
    [Sherar vs. Cullen, 481 F2d. 946 (1973)]

  8. #8
    Regular Member Jack House's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Schlitz View Post
    No in game voice.... can't create a squad with friends/forced to be in a random squad with random people with no mics....yea... bf2 MP is awesome O_o
    Are you saying those things are true about CoD, BF2 our did you mean BF3?

    Looks like you meant BF3, but since you were quoting me I have no idea.

    Posted using my HTC Evo

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    Holy crap.

    Are you guys inhaling refrigerant, on psychotropic medication, or simply making some sort of cruel joke?



    I have never been this satisfied, ever, with a video game purchase. For the moment, this game is crack. It took everything BF2 sucked at, and made it better, while retaining those things that made BF2 "ok". Keeping in mind that the Battlefield franchise is supposed to be delivering a comprehensive, realistic simulation of the entire combat experience from a much more extensive view than COD, I think it has nailed it on the head. I am not even interested in MW3. They can keep it. It's going to be junk by comparison.


    #1. Strafing is now possible:

    This was one of the most annoying things about the BF franchise to me. It literally pissed me off that they were trying to limit mobility by forcibly removing the ability to sidestep like you were trained to do, and had to do, up obstacles during basic training (Bayonet Course etc.). Yes, incredibly, the worlds elite soldiers can actually kind of run sideways when they need to. How utterly amazing. If you don't like the fact that you can do this now, maybe you are a terrible shot. My longest single-shot headshot with the SV98 is about 900 yards on Operation Firestorm, and guess what? Yeah, the guy wasn't running a straight line but strafing. I wonder if real snipers have to account for this type of dynamic movement on the battlefield in real life. Ah, yes, they do. You can strafe now, and that is incredibly cool on a franchise that was limp**** about it for 2+ releases.

    #2. "Shoeless Joe Jackson" comments:

    Come on now. The problem with Battlefield 2 was that you have a soldier who presumptively, as a Marine or US Army grunt, would pack ~70+lbs of gear and then ruck march or jog 10 miles during training (You know, that IRL thing) yet in game couldn't go more than 5 feet without falling out and panting like the worlds leading fatty brigade leader. Don't worry bro, the fallout humvee will be by soon to collect you. OH WAIT! Could it be that Marines and Soldiers are TRAINED to move quick, fast, and in a hurry during foot patrols for extended periods of time and actually train that way? Wow you mean its actually more realistic now? Yes, yes it is. You can actually move at a rate for an extended period of time, wherein loadout actually effects your speed. If you are bitching about their ability to run for longer durations, again, learn to lead. The aforementioned kill in the strafing comment was also done on a soldier running if you can believe that. I just led him appropriately and estimated where I thought he might be (Heading toward a buildings entrance in a zig-zag).



    I think in your case Schlitz you simply played so much BF2 that you expected some sort of updated graphical version with bigger maps, or something of that nature.

    Frankly, I am completely taken by this game at the moment and enjoy playing the hell out of it. It is infinitely better than BF2 in that it corrects BF2's deficiencies.
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    Personal responsibility is a facade created by religious people in particular...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beretta92FSLady View Post
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beretta92FSLady View Post
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  10. #10
    Regular Member Jack House's Avatar
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    Have you used any of the planes? I want to fly, damnit.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack House View Post
    Have you used any of the planes? I want to fly, damnit.
    Yeah I have flown everything. I highly prefer the whirly types, but the jets are fun too. You can wreak havoc with the jets on anything airborne which is of course their purpose. They are good for knocking down choppers or making fast moving passes on static, slow, or large ground targets.

    If you get a good gunner, the chopper is the epitome of flexibility. Almost everyone who flies one is a complete durptard. I am the designated pilot for my group.

    Add me if you want to play sometime. I'm in class at the moment but will be on later.

    IGN: commodog79
    Quote Originally Posted by Beretta92FSLady View Post
    Personal responsibility is a facade created by religious people in particular...
    On "Personal Responsibility just after the previous, in the same exact thread.
    Quote Originally Posted by Beretta92FSLady View Post
    Religion uses is as a tool, they did not create it.
    The wheels on the bus go round and round...round and round.

    Quote Originally Posted by Beretta92FSLady View Post
    You think that I am ill-equipped...hit me with your best shot Einstein, I am calling you out.


    Quote Originally Posted by Beretta92FSLady View Post
    Free will is only slightly a conscious exercise...

  12. #12
    Regular Member Jack House's Avatar
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    I would, but I only play on PS3(and don't have suitable internet anyway).

    I am the designated pilot amongst my friends as well. I'm a fairly good pilot, one of if not the best in the matches I participate. Thing that always gets me is that rarely are there any good gunners and the guys that typically make a beeline for the helis are the crappy drivers, the ones that can't fly worth a damn. It's very aggravating. The guys that make a run for the helicopters just to get across the map and ditch them are especially annoying.

  13. #13
    Campaign Veteran Schlitz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slowfiveoh View Post
    Holy crap.

    I think in your case Schlitz you simply played so much BF2 that you expected some sort of updated graphical version with bigger maps, or something of that nature.
    This is exactly what I was expecting, because they said this would be the sequel to BF2... Instead I feel like they took BF2, updated the **** out of the graphics (which is awesome) then stripped the game of all the battlefield qualities.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jack House View Post
    I am the designated pilot amongst my friends as well. I'm a fairly good pilot, one of if not the best in the matches I participate. Thing that always gets me is that rarely are there any good gunners and the guys that typically make a beeline for the helis are the crappy drivers, the ones that can't fly worth a damn. It's very aggravating. The guys that make a run for the helicopters just to get across the map and ditch them are especially annoying.
    haha, tell me about it. i am the black hawk MAN in BF2. In fact, I just got kicked for team killing a black hawk pilot who kept getting it over and over again (because he kept getting shot down). lol, if you suck, expect me to get out of the chopper, walk around to the back, and pop you in the head so I can fly my squad around. everyone gets a fair chance if they get it before I do...but if you constantly get it and you suck, my squad will man .50 cals on humvees around the map and shoot you down everytime. trololololol
    “The claim and exercise of a constitutional right cannot be converted into a crime.”
    [Miller vs. U.S., 230 F. Supp. 486, 489 (1956)]
    “There can be no sanction or penalty imposed upon one because of his exercise of constitutional rights.”
    [Sherar vs. Cullen, 481 F2d. 946 (1973)]

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    Quote Originally Posted by DrakeZ07 View Post
    SP is awesome.
    MP is boring... I go into a server and my whole team gets teleported to a room filled with C4... lol... Hmm, anyone up for a OCDO or OC BF3 platoon/squad?

    I'm down for creating a Platoon, I need to find people to play with who have a MIC. I'll check to see what platoon names are available.

    Edit: Platoon = OpenCarry.org Clan tag: OCDO
    Last edited by Dogbait; 10-29-2011 at 05:01 PM.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Schlitz View Post
    This is exactly what I was expecting, because they said this would be the sequel to BF2... Instead I feel like they took BF2, updated the **** out of the graphics (which is awesome) then stripped the game of all the battlefield qualities...
    This game is still not the same as COD, or even close. If you come and hop into BF3 thinking you will dual-wield G18's and murder everything, you are in for one hell of a disappointing surprise.

    I took my longtime COD gameplay memory and applied it to BF3 and it simply does not work. You either work as a team to succeed, or you die a horrible, miserable death. For the specific purpose of playing like a bunnyhopping divemaster and determining its effect, I did just that, and it was BAD. I literally went 0/13 in the first 7 minutes using all of my COD tricks. This is the quality that BF has always had as a franchise over COD. Play as a team or die. Your KDR is meaningless here.

    I went 17/1 in the first 15 minutes of a match at one point by embracing the teamplay concept instead of going rambo. I had two engineers repairing my LAV as I drove around the Grand Bazaar epically shredding everything. The credit for every kill and the following point dominations comes goes specifically to those engineers. Without them I would have had crap, and would have died to the first RPG sent my way. Teamwork: It owns you.

    What I DO wish is they could devise a system where more points were given to the support roles sustaining the fight. The medics reviving and the engineers repairing has far more effect on the outcome of a fight than the hosemonster with a laser equipped SAW.

    Fantastic game, and I love it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Beretta92FSLady View Post
    Personal responsibility is a facade created by religious people in particular...
    On "Personal Responsibility just after the previous, in the same exact thread.
    Quote Originally Posted by Beretta92FSLady View Post
    Religion uses is as a tool, they did not create it.
    The wheels on the bus go round and round...round and round.

    Quote Originally Posted by Beretta92FSLady View Post
    You think that I am ill-equipped...hit me with your best shot Einstein, I am calling you out.


    Quote Originally Posted by Beretta92FSLady View Post
    Free will is only slightly a conscious exercise...

  16. #16
    Regular Member Jack House's Avatar
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    Laser equipped SAW, hmmm.



    Posted using my HTC Evo

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack House View Post
    Laser equipped SAW, hmmm.



    Posted using my HTC Evo
    Yes. That is PRECISELY what I was referring to!
    Quote Originally Posted by Beretta92FSLady View Post
    Personal responsibility is a facade created by religious people in particular...
    On "Personal Responsibility just after the previous, in the same exact thread.
    Quote Originally Posted by Beretta92FSLady View Post
    Religion uses is as a tool, they did not create it.
    The wheels on the bus go round and round...round and round.

    Quote Originally Posted by Beretta92FSLady View Post
    You think that I am ill-equipped...hit me with your best shot Einstein, I am calling you out.


    Quote Originally Posted by Beretta92FSLady View Post
    Free will is only slightly a conscious exercise...

  18. #18
    Regular Member Jack House's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slowfiveoh View Post
    Yes. That is PRECISELY what I was referring to!
    Amazing isn't it.


    Posted using my HTC Evo

  19. #19
    Campaign Veteran Schlitz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack House View Post
    Laser equipped SAW, hmmm.



    Posted using my HTC Evo
    what is this- i don't even-!?
    “The claim and exercise of a constitutional right cannot be converted into a crime.”
    [Miller vs. U.S., 230 F. Supp. 486, 489 (1956)]
    “There can be no sanction or penalty imposed upon one because of his exercise of constitutional rights.”
    [Sherar vs. Cullen, 481 F2d. 946 (1973)]

  20. #20
    Activist Member carsontech's Avatar
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    I can't say I will get to play BF3 anytime soon, but BF2 and its mods (especially Project Reality) took up a lot of my time in years past. ARMA II has been taking my time up recently. If there's a BF3 multiplayer demo, I may download it and check it out.

    Schlitz's review seems to spot on with what I though the game would be like. I don't care for some of things in the game that a lot of people are describing and complaining about. I guess I will have to play it to really find out for myself though.

    On another aspect of EA stuff, I find the EA screwing up a lot of great games in the last few years, though. EA has made a name fore itself for screwing over people, in my experience. The copyright/protection they use is "uber secure", but there is a price for that. Sometimes legit cd keys or license keys for EA games get blacklisted or are invalid out of the box, seemingly for no reason, and EA wont left a finger to help you out.
    Last edited by carsontech; 10-30-2011 at 02:57 AM.

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