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Thread: World Politics Explained, using Cows

  1. #1
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    World Politics Explained, using Cows

    SOCIALISM
    You have 2 cows.
    You give one to your neighbor.

    COMMUNISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and gives you some milk.

    FASCISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and sells you some milk.

    NAZISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both and shoots you.

    BUREAUCRATISM
    You have 2 cows.
    The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income.

    SURREALISM
    You have two giraffes.
    The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
    Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

    ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
    You have two cows.
    You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
    The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
    The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
    You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
    No balance sheet provided with the release.
    The public then buys your bull.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
    You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
    You decide to have lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You count them and learn you have five cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
    You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    A SWISS CORPORATION
    You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
    You charge the owners for storing them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
    You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You worship them.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Both are mad.

    AN IRAQI CORPORATION
    Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
    You tell them that you have none.
    No-one believes you, so they bomb the
    crap out of you and invade your country.
    You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....

    AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    Business seems pretty good.
    You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

    A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    The one on the left looks very attractive.

    A GREEK CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You borrow against the cows from the Germans
    You kill the cows and make souvlaki
    You canít pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money
    You canít pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money
    You canít pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money
    You canít pay the interest so the Germans lend you more money

  2. #2
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    Haha
    Last edited by PistolPackingMomma; 12-03-2011 at 09:23 PM.

  3. #3
    Founder's Club Member thebigsd's Avatar
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    Pretty funny! I like the Enron one, especially since we are at the 10-year anniversary of that debacle.
    "When seconds count between living or dying, the police are only minutes away."

  4. #4
    Campaign Veteran since9's Avatar
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    Old hat, except for the Greek twist.

    I wonder if the Greeks can borrow from the Italians who would borrow from the Spaniards who would borrow from the Greeks (once they recovered, of course)?
    The First protects the Second, and the Second protects the First. Together, they protect the rest of our Bill of Rights and our United States Constitution, and help We the People protect ourselves in the spirit of our Declaration of Independence.

  5. #5
    Regular Member rodbender's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by since9 View Post
    Old hat, except for the Greek twist.

    I wonder if the Greeks can borrow from the Italians who would borrow from the Spaniards who would borrow from the Greeks (once they recovered, of course)?
    Then the U.S. government gives them all money after they, excuse me, we borrow it from the Chinese.
    The thing about common sense is....it ain't too common.
    Will Rogers

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