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Thread: Some firearm "humor"

  1. #1
    Regular Member mspgunner's Avatar
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    Some firearm "humor"

    Subject: Fwd: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?


    I am a southerner.

    Which are you?

    Here is a little test that will help you decide.


    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two
    small children. Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the
    corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and
    charges
    at you...


    You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an
    expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
    What
    do you do?



    THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:


    Democrat's Answer:

    · Well, that's not enough information to answer the
    question!

    · What is a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP?

    · Does the man look poor or oppressed?

    · Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?

    · Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to
    attack?

    · Could we run away?

    · What does my wife think?

    · What about the kids?

    · Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the
    knife out of his hand?

    · What does the law say about this situation?

    · Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?

    · Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of
    message does this send to society and to my children?

    · Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

    · Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content
    just to wound me?

    · If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family
    get away while he was stabbing me?

    · Should I call 9-1-1?

    · Why is this street so deserted?

    · We need to raise taxes.

    · Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would
    discourage such behavior.

    · I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and
    try to come to a consensus.

    · This is all so confusing!


    ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .........
    ......... ...


    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!

    ...... ...... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .........
    ......



    Southerner's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG!
    BANG! BANG!

    Click..... (Sounds of reloading)

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

    Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!' 'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or
    Hollow Points?!

    Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

    Wife: 'You are NOT taking that to a Taxidermist!
    If you pull it, you use it. If you pull it and you don't use it, you've done some thing wrong and you might not get another chance. Think about it before you pack it!
    I worked 24/7 for 2A OC rights! Don't like what I did? Try it yourself, it was my full time job!
    Certified NRA Range Safety Officer - RSO

  2. #2
    Founder's Club Member thebigsd's Avatar
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    Good one!! I laughed a bit!
    "When seconds count between living or dying, the police are only minutes away."

  3. #3
    Regular Member NG19's Avatar
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    That is sad true and funny all in one, that made my day.
    If you pull it, you use it. If you pull it and you don't use it, you've done some thing wrong and you might not get another chance. Think about it before you pack it!

  4. #4
    Regular Member 1245A Defender's Avatar
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    well,,,

    Experianced members of OCDO
    Know a poster here that is a Democrat.
    SHE would go all Mosambique on that guy,
    there would be no click, no need to reload, three shots and he is out.

    past experiance has shown that I'm not just guessing about her.
    EMNofSeattle wrote: Your idea of freedom terrifies me. So you are actually right. I am perfectly happy with what you call tyranny.....

    “If ever a time should come, when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in Government, our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its ruin.”

    Stand up for your Rights,, They have no authority on their own...

    All power is inherent in the people,
    it is their right and duty to be at all times ARMED!

  5. #5
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    I guess I'm the Republican... ammo cost... one good shot to the head and we'll be on our way. Afterall, I have some place to be

  6. #6
    Regular Member Jack House's Avatar
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    My answer? Bang bang. Why is this street deserted and why is a crazy man with a knife considered a terrorist? Oh wait, he's still breathing. Guess I better get an Ambulance, which pocket was my phone again? Oh hey look, my wife's boobs! Oh yeah, I was going to make a call. Hmmm, my wife has a nice ass. Wait, who was I calling?

    Officer: why did it take you so long to call?
    Me: my wife's ass.
    Officer: huh?
    Me: take a look.
    Office: ohhhh nice. What were we talking about again?
    Me: why is that man on the ground bleeding?

    Posted using my HTC Evo
    Last edited by Jack House; 12-12-2011 at 12:52 AM.

  7. #7
    Regular Member DrakeZ07's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack House View Post
    My answer? Bang bang. Why is this street deserted and why is a crazy man with a knife considered a terrorist? Oh wait, he's still breathing. Guess I better get an Ambulance, which pocket was my phone again? Oh hey look, my wife's boobs! Oh yeah, I was going to make a call. Hmmm, my wife has a nice ass. Wait, who was I calling?

    Officer: why did it take you so long to call?
    Me: my wife's ass.
    Officer: huh?
    Me: take a look.
    Office: ohhhh nice. What were we talking about again?
    Me: why is that man on the ground bleeding?

    Posted using my HTC Evo

    You sir, deserve seven cookies and a candy cane for that. Really gave me a good laugh.
    I'm a proud openly gay open carrier~
    Trained SKYWARN spotter, and veteran Storm Chaser.
    =^.^= ~<3~ =^.^=
    Beware the Pink Camo clad gay redneck.

  8. #8
    Regular Member SFCRetired's Avatar
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    All I'm going to say is, "American by birth, Southerner by the Grace of God, soldier by profession!"

    Any more than that might come back to haunt me later.

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