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Thread: my parents dont support open carry

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    my parents dont support open carry

    Seems the more I carry the more my parents seem to try and come up with opposition responses to why I should conceal. What do you usually say to relatives or friends that seem to not agree with open carry. I actually had my uncle who is a police chief say "well you are the first target for the bad guys." I looked him straight in the face, " then why dont you guys conceal and wear plain clothes."

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    Founder's Club Member thebigsd's Avatar
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    Couple of questions for you:

    How long have you been carrying?
    Do you live with your parents?
    Have you or anyone your parents know had a negative experience with a firearm?

    My parents were initially concerned/opposed but I eventually won them over with facts about open carry.
    "When seconds count between living or dying, the police are only minutes away."

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    Regular Member ArmySoldier22's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dashowdy View Post
    I actually had my uncle who is a police chief say "well you are the first target for the bad guys."
    Couldn't be much farther from the truth. The typical BG isn't going to put himself in a situation where he's likely to get killed, especially for a few bucks. If he brings it up again, ask him for specific examples of it actually happening. Then just look around here and you'll find a ton of examples of people where OCing either saved their butts or saved their wallets.

    As far as getting the point across to your family, that depends on you and how your relationship with them is. I have family members that don't agree with it, despite all the information I gave them on it, and how it can be a life saver. So I flat out told them that if they want me around, they'd have to get used to it. And so they did, and most of them have gotten pretty comfortable with it. I even had one family member switch sides and now wants to start OCing himself. But some people just can't talk to their family like that to get their point across, so maybe it'll take a little more finesse.
    Last edited by ArmySoldier22; 12-09-2011 at 07:31 PM.

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    1. I have been carrying now for about 4 months.
    2. I live in my own home I just visit my parents regularly.
    3. They have not had any bad experiences, in fact they keep guns in there home, I grew up with them but I know neither has carried for self protection.
    4. They know I will not come over if they were to not allow it in there home, there main gripe is that there is a time and a place for it. I believe there is and that is whenever legally possible. They also believe someone may grab my gun some day and kill me, I carry in a serpa cqc. They also believe because of the vt incident and others that a nother person concealed carrying may see me as a threat since I am open carrying and draw there weapon on me. Or even an unfortunate encounter with an leo resulting in arrest. I have given all the typical responses to these insane questions but to no avail, every time it is when are you going to get your permit, to which I reply I will still open carry even once I get my chp.

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    Founder's Club Member thebigsd's Avatar
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    As for you living in your own house then you make the rules where you live. If your parents believe that there is a time and a place, ask them (respectfully) how they are able to see the future. There is no safe place. If you knew that you would need your gun in a particular place then you probably wouldn't go there in the first place.

    Since they are comfortable with firearms in general, you may be able to use the fire extinguisher analogy. You'll probably never need it but you keep it around to be prepared. The chances of needing it are 0% until it's 100%. I would also recommend showing your parents articles in which people defended themselves.

    There have been very few, if any, documented encounters of an open carrier's gun being taken from them. In fact, OC often has a deterrent value. Here is a good example:

    http://www.examiner.com/gun-rights-i...ile_redirect=1
    Last edited by thebigsd; 12-09-2011 at 09:02 PM.
    "When seconds count between living or dying, the police are only minutes away."

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    Regular Member Badger Johnson's Avatar
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    1. Wear a retention holster and try to take a class on firearm retention;
    2. Carry an audio (or audio/video) recorder and run it constantly when you OC.

    The first will prevent most attempts to gun grab, the second will aid in not being arrested on false charges.

    Good luck!
    A gun in a holster is better than one drawn and dispensing bullets. Concealed forces the latter. - ixtow

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    Tell your parents that you appreciate their opinion but are living your own life.

    Yell your Uncle it's surprising how little he knows given his employment.

    A few folks have felt compelled to share their view on OC with me but rarely seem interested in my view. That tells me a lot about them and their value in my world.

    The very few that care to truly discuss it instead of telling me what I should be doing usually come to understand my position on the subject and life goes on.

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    I always carry in my serpa cqc, farthest forward can't with retention screw set very high.
    2. I most definitely need a recorder.

    I was not surprised by my uncles response, but he was by mine. Most of my other family members do not care or even support me . Hell even my fiancee has seen me carry so much now she is starting to become intrested in owning a firearm some day, after some training and lots of range time.

  9. #9
    mattwestm
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    My grandfather doesn't support OC either. In order to avoid conflict and avoid hearing comments from the peanut gallery, I just CC when around him

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    Tell them to try and get it from you. Unload it. put it back in your Serpa and enjoy the day at the house. Just see if they can disarm you.

    My brother also doesn't like OC. While getting in the truck one day he did a gun grab. He wasn't successful. He knows exactly how the holster work, (most criminals don't) he has 2 of them, we didn't wrestle like kids or anything, When I felt the grab I just twisted. He was shocked that it was so hard to un-holster the gun. Fact is that the BGs hand needs to be at the perfect angle to use the release button.

    As for just seeing you and shooting you first. So much is running through the small brain of the BG that he most likely never see the gun. Most people never see mine. lots of criminals have attempted to rob a place with uniformed police right there.

    Carry on and tell them to get over it. CC when near them on private property.

  11. #11
    Regular Member MKEgal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dashowdy
    there main gripe is that there is a time and a place for it.
    If they can tell me where criminals will & will not strike, I'd like to borrow their crystal ball.
    I'm sure the police would, too.
    Crime happens everywhere, at any time.

    Quote Originally Posted by muccione
    My brother also doesn't like OC. While getting in the truck one day he did a gun grab. He wasn't successful.
    What an idiot! While pretty sure you wouldn't shoot him, there's always the possibility that IF he got hold of it he could have had an ND during the struggle.
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    Quote Originally Posted by dashowdy View Post
    Seems the more I carry the more my parents seem to try and come up with opposition responses to why I should conceal. What do you usually say to relatives or friends that seem to not agree with open carry. I actually had my uncle who is a police chief say "well you are the first target for the bad guys." I looked him straight in the face, " then why dont you guys conceal and wear plain clothes."

    Totally understand. My folks are opposed to carry AT ALL, in any form. Will be seeing them over the holidays soon, will be carrying the entire time. Normally, I CC when around them, just to avoid the inevitable, liberal/commie ranting nonsense. This time, however Im just going to carry as always-if they have any issues with it, they're more than free to get back in the car and drive 12 hours to home.

    Debates, disputes, arguements with folks who are knowingly Anti by choice are completely pointless. No matter who they are, or how close they are. Those of us who "get it" just..well, we get it. Those of us who dont- we usually end up refering to them as "victims".
    If a grown adult in 2011,still cant get their head around an issue, there's no hope for em.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MKEgal View Post
    What an idiot! While pretty sure you wouldn't shoot him, there's always the possibility that IF he got hold of it he could have had an ND during the struggle.
    Learn to read... There was NO struggle, We are adults and don't wrestle around, That is a southern thing. It is my brother. You might want to shoot your family but I don't. All I did was turn away. You can put down this all you want, Have you trained to resist a gun grab? There is WAY more training with a firearm than JUST going to the range. Just because someone has had a gun since they were 5 doesn't make them trained. I complete trust in his and my abilities. Would you trust Dale Jr. to drive your car on a race track? I would.

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    Anti-Saldana Freedom Fighter Venator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dashowdy View Post
    Seems the more I carry the more my parents seem to try and come up with opposition responses to why I should conceal. What do you usually say to relatives or friends that seem to not agree with open carry. I actually had my uncle who is a police chief say "well you are the first target for the bad guys." I looked him straight in the face, " then why dont you guys conceal and wear plain clothes."
    Buy them a copy of this www.myparentsopencarry.com it covers many of their questions.
    An Amazon best seller "MY PARENTS OPEN CARRY" http://www.myparentsopencarry.com/

    *The information contained above is not meant to be legal advice, but is solely intended as a starting point for further research. These are my opinions, if you have further questions it is advisable to seek out an attorney that is well versed in firearm law.

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    Regular Member Baked on Grease's Avatar
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    Read this essay, it is one of the best written peices I have ever come across. My dad was a strong supporter of CC for the longest time, gave him this to read and now I motice his firearm uncovered more often than not.

    http://www.usacarry.com/forums/open-...-argument.html



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    "A Right Un-exercised is a Right Lost"

    "According to the law, [openly carrying] in a vehicle is against the law if the weapon is concealed" -Flamethrower (think about it....)

    Carrying an XDm 9mm with Hornady Critical Defense hollowpoint. Soon to be carrying a Ruger along with it....

  16. #16
    Regular Member papa bear's Avatar
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    i am 50 and my mother is 83, and she has let me know that carrying bother her. she and some others of my family are real sheeple and hoplophobes, while others believe in self defense and carry. my mother's mother, who looked like granny Clampet and cussed like a sailor. carried a 357 that was about as big as her purse.

    i have taken her out to eat and stores she likes to go to. we have struck up some positive conversation with some really nice people who carry. i have said "see not everybody that carries is a nut". a lot of people just need to get used to it.
    Luke 22:36 ; 36Then said he unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one.

    "guns are like a Parachute, if you don't have one when you need it, you will not need one again"
    - unknown

    i you call a CHP a CCW then you are really stupid. period.

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    well caught more **** again this morning, I went to pick my daughter up from my parents. We get there around nine and they decide maybe they wanted to go to breakfast, my dad suggests bojangles which the ones around here do not allow firearms so I dont give them my business. I usually frequent biscuitville or chick fil a if I want breakfast. Anyway this led to another argument about how I should get over it and just disarm. I simply replied that there policy caters to criminals and there signs are a clear invitation to let the BG's know that there is easy prey in here. Basically there whole thought is that the signs keep the place safer and keep guns out of the stores. I told them that it was sheer ignorance to believe that any bad guy would not carry a weapon just because it says so on a door. To which I also replied alot of banks are posted but that does not keep people from robbing them.

    While my parents ignorance does bother me I told them to read some articles I sent them and to try and understand why I carry. They said I take the second amendment too seriously and that I need to loosen up and disarm sometimes. To which I replied I will, for instance if we have a family get together in a restaurant where they serve alcohol or when we go to a christmas parade. If I have a conscious choice to go somewhere I have to disarm or go somewhere else I dont have to, i.e. biscuitville, then I will.

    On a side note I was looking at a glock 17L the other day and since I exclusively open carry I thought about picking it up.

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    Regular Member Dreamer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by muccione View Post
    Learn to read... There was NO struggle, We are adults and don't wrestle around, That is a southern thing. It is my brother. You might want to shoot your family but I don't. All I did was turn away. You can put down this all you want, Have you trained to resist a gun grab? There is WAY more training with a firearm than JUST going to the range. Just because someone has had a gun since they were 5 doesn't make them trained. I complete trust in his and my abilities. Would you trust Dale Jr. to drive your car on a race track? I would.
    Although briskly turning is a good way to get away from a casual "gun grab" attempt, and although I love my family members very much, I think if anyone I know had tried that with me, there would have been a shark elbow rise to accompany the sharp turning of my hips and hopefully the resulting bloody nose would be enough of a "lesson" that they would never try anything that stupid again...

    Just sayin'...
    It is our cause to dispel the foggy thinking which avoids hard decisions in the delusion that a world of conflict will somehow mysteriously resolve itself into a world of harmony, if we just don't rock the boat or irritate the forces of aggression—and this is hogwash."
    --Barry Goldwater, 1964

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    Regular Member Dreamer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dashowdy View Post
    While my parents ignorance does bother me I told them to read some articles I sent them and to try and understand why I carry. They said I take the second amendment too seriously and that I need to loosen up and disarm sometimes. To which I replied I will, for instance if we have a family get together in a restaurant where they serve alcohol or when we go to a christmas parade. If I have a conscious choice to go somewhere I have to disarm or go somewhere else I dont have to, i.e. biscuitville, then I will.
    If you have a CC permit, then just CC. The worst that can happen is someone sees it and the management asks you to leave. As long as you leave, they can't even charge you with trespassing...


    Quote Originally Posted by dashowdy View Post
    On a side note I was looking at a glock 17L the other day and since I exclusively open carry I thought about picking it up.
    I have a Glock 36, and I'll admit that although is is a VERY comfortable gun to carry because of it's sub-compact size and light weight, it is a BEAST to shoot. It has twice the perceived recoil ofmy Para Ordnance P-14.45, it is LOUD, and it has a huge muzzle flash. IT is accurate as a laser, and supremely reliable, but it is NOT an enjoyable firearm to shoot. It has been my experience that all polymer frame sub-compacts in self-defense calibers are the same in this manner--easy to carry, punishing to fire.

    Were I to do it again, I would have got the full-size G-21. It's a MUCH more enjoyable firearm to shoot. I'd use that one in USPSA, but the G-36 in a USPSA match would be about as enjoyable as slamming my hand in car door by the end of the day...
    It is our cause to dispel the foggy thinking which avoids hard decisions in the delusion that a world of conflict will somehow mysteriously resolve itself into a world of harmony, if we just don't rock the boat or irritate the forces of aggression—and this is hogwash."
    --Barry Goldwater, 1964

  20. #20
    Regular Member ncwabbit's Avatar
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    what is it

    we, as adults:

    1. continue to allow our parents, siblings, friends, etc., to 'push our buttons'

    2. feel the compulsive need to respond when our buttons are pushed.
    (which was what the intended response was when they pushed your button in the first place)

    kinda like dealing with a police interrogation...keep quiet...

    try this the next time they push your button(s) on this subject...do not respond or react!! your distractors will push again - harder...do not respond or react!! they will push even harder to elicit a response...do not give in!!

    one of the reasons ppl use this learned method to begin a conversation is that they do not believe they have any other way of initiating a discussion (remember an argument is considered normal conversation in some families) w/you so it is habit and you are 'trained' to respond to this button pushing subject as you believe you need to defend yourself - you don't!!

    now on the other side of that...when the pushing didn't elicit a response...please after waiting a moment, 'sincerely' (do not be flippant), aim the conversation to another subject...say sports, weather, health, clothes someone is wearing, etc. using this methodology will soon break the button pushers 'habit' of trying to start conversations using this subject and you will be working on not automatically responding to known button issues.

    the button pushers will soon recognize the subject doesn't get a response, they will move on to another 'infamous' button(s) of yours to push...see above actions!!

    caveat: parents have a long history of using this technique against their children and olde habits do not die easily, especially w/the female parent...so it might take awhile to break them of using this particular subject to get your goat. trust me they will soon use another one to elicit a response so be prepared...

    however, if you take the fun out of their button pushing, they will soon discover that specific button doesn't work and it will get better...honest

    wabbit

    ps: shades of Lucy...please leave your .05 in the jar by the door...
    Last edited by ncwabbit; 12-11-2011 at 01:13 PM.

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    Thats a good idea is just not to engage in the argument and just continue as I am and they will just realize that I will carry this way even once I get my ccw. I just want my permit so I dont have to worry about putting it on the seat in the car. I do most of the time because of accessability but most of the time I have a passenger so I keep it on my hip and would just set it on the dash if I got pulled.

    I know what you mean dreamer full size is much more comfortable to shoot so I would imagine the 17L or 34 would be a straight tack driver.
    Last edited by dashowdy; 12-11-2011 at 01:35 PM.

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    i must be a MUCH bigger A$$h*!e than anyone else here b/c i have ended arguments with my parents and my in-laws in a very simple way, when they as adults have tried to push their opinions on me as an adult i have flatly told them (and mind you this is always after varying degrees of discussion, and usually multiple discussions) that if they can't live with my personal decisions they can live without me and my family (including my kids)

    my family all knows that i will cut them off and they all back off and STHU i'v only had to do it once each to my and my wife's family, they now discuss things with me and i will judge for myself if their arguments hold water if so i'll modify my thinking if not the discussion is over
    GO PIRATES!!!!!

  23. #23
    Regular Member S&W 4TheWin's Avatar
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    hello, this is my first post. (obviously) I have been lurking here awhile reading different threads and i myself have come across this very problem. A little different though. I am a 20 year old male and my parents think that since im YOUNGER i will be more of a target for police harassment, along with the public looking down on me. Ive only been ocing for the past 3 weeks and haven't had a confrontation yet, but ive mostly only been places that already know me. Ive printed out the open carry argument that was posted above but is what there saying true to an extent? I think i saw some one referring to ocers in their 20s to be unicorns lol. (i took that to mean you very rarely see them) I was just wondering what yalls opinion on this was. As for all their other reasoning to not OC i have pretty valid arguments and they dont give me a hard time about it they just like to throw in there that they think im drawing un-need attention ESPECIALLY since im younger. Where as i guess its not as bad if i was 40? At least in there eyes. Dont get me wrong i do KINDA see there point, but i caint help my age and will not wait to OC until i "look old enough"

    also, i dont live with my parents. havent since i was 17
    and when i say "look old enough" i dont mean 18-21. As
    i have a full beard and often get asked if im 23-25 ish.

    Thanks in advance and i LOVE this website!

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by S&W 4TheWin View Post
    hello, this is my first post. (obviously) I have been lurking here awhile reading different threads and i myself have come across this very problem. A little different though. I am a 20 year old male and my parents think that since im YOUNGER i will be more of a target for police harassment, along with the public looking down on me. Ive only been ocing for the past 3 weeks and haven't had a confrontation yet, but ive mostly only been places that already know me. Ive printed out the open carry argument that was posted above but is what there saying true to an extent? I think i saw some one referring to ocers in their 20s to be unicorns lol. (i took that to mean you very rarely see them) I was just wondering what yalls opinion on this was. As for all their other reasoning to not OC i have pretty valid arguments and they dont give me a hard time about it they just like to throw in there that they think im drawing un-need attention ESPECIALLY since im younger. Where as i guess its not as bad if i was 40? At least in there eyes. Dont get me wrong i do KINDA see there point, but i caint help my age and will not wait to OC until i "look old enough"

    also, i dont live with my parents. havent since i was 17
    and when i say "look old enough" i dont mean 18-21. As
    i have a full beard and often get asked if im 23-25 ish.

    Thanks in advance and i LOVE this website!
    First let me say welcome good to have you on here. I am 24 so a little older but around that age group so I know what you mean. As far as police harrasment just know the laws and abide by them and you will be fine. Most cops will not even bat an eyelash. Generally I have learned that age has nothing to do with peoples firearms phobias and concerns. It especially rings true for alot of folks when they see me and my 2 year old daughter together, absolutely blows there mind that a family man as clean cut and polite as I am carries a firearm for protection. But my daughter is the main reason I got into carrying. Just be polite, dress well, and relax you will have way more positive experiences than negatives.

  25. #25
    Regular Member Ruger's Avatar
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    What?

    Quote Originally Posted by muccione View Post
    We are adults and don't wrestle around, That is a southern thing.
    As a southerner, I'm not quite sure how this statement is supposed to be taken, especially in a NC subforum. Is this like saying, "We don't put sugar in our cornbread, that is a yankee thing." ???

    Would you trust Dale Jr. to drive your car on a race track?
    I wouldn't trust him to win anything.
    Carry on!

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