SteveInAshand
Regular Member
Here we ( I ) go again , * sigh.
My .45 has been in hibernation in my Bianchi Ranger level I holster for quite some time until this morning.
It has only seen the range , well if you call the side of a logging road a range about 1x a month, other than that it has not been out of its cage to actually protect and defend in a long long time, other than OC with the usual mix of mild paranoid fearful with a smattering egotistical holier than thou looks from west coast castrated male metrosexuals and female vegan pseudo Buddhists.
Mostly is gets admired by every day good old boy's with dog collars on who wish they were 'allowed' to carry by their wife but they don't want to clash Cocobolo grips with their 'alpha' wife's brown fake pleather purse , poor guys, they are nice they look normal what with their pick up trucks and NY Giants ball caps, but they all think the Constitution is a old hand written receipt for a Civil war wooden submarine with the same name ! They think the 2nd Amendment is the paragraph preceding the one that says " Lessor will pay $500 a month on said big new diesel truck" at the dealership .
( Steve, knock off the lame attempt at home made funny prose and get with the gang banger story pal ) > sorry Mr moderator, lol.
Digressing: I drive in at 8am to work, park My truck with the BuckOfama bumper stick on it , walk out and turn the corner on foot into the alley to open the big steel commercial door to my office, and immediately notice 3 older teen's on the same alley about a Jr high school field goal kicker distance away.
I am half way to my door, about 10 yards away from it when teen 1 a female happens to look up from her artistic Sharp-e felt pen graffiti imitation of Picasso to see me intently watching her deface my ground power transformer.
She goes all 'big eye' on me, and then teen 2 a harmless skinny Beaver Cleaver school book bag of dough nuts sees me and elbow jabs teen 3 to show him the old guy ( me ) watching us .
Well now teen 3 is a different kind of young mutt, he is a modern day mini M-S 13 wannabe , He is the neighborhood show off , the one who just moved in from the big city , and the other 2 are the nice kids in the apt next door who are impressed with his pachuco mini macho taco honcho act.
Mini macho is wearing totally different clothes he is all Esay'ed up in typical Los Angeles barrio gang couture , he looks at me, ( stop ) Now I don't give a dam about anything at that moment, I have had no coffee yet , I am all sleep eye and it's 31 degrees, and I think Picasso sucks so I don't want no trouble, but mini macho he wants trouble so he opens with the usual high minded soliloquy in a lame imitation Tony Montana scar face voice " Hey what the F are You looking at" .
That's it , I have a weakness it is my loaded mouth, I always take the macho bait, * sigh, and so I have just had an adrenaline shot in lieu of my morning cup of Kona with what mutt breath just said to me, so I resort to a typical dumb immature guy and ya I retort with " Your in American now ,we don't piss on lamp post and scribble on walls pal" .
Sadly mini macho and I are now locked into a battle of inferior ego's , one of us has got to go.
There is an old Islamic saying that say's " Why do the men go to war, because the women are watching" , and well his woman is watching this and so mini macho has to vanquish me from ' his' alley as he just peed on and marked the transformer box my boss just paid for .
Mini macho grabs a bandana out of his pocket, puts it around his face in the old cowboy bank robber fashion, ties it off quickly like he has done this before to un-armed old ladies and now walks very fast right to me closing the 25 or so yards quickly at the same time the now Frito bandit-O jams his right hand into his XXL plaid jacket and all my alarms go off !!!
Funny how fast I can get my Carhart open, and fleece up and 45 out cocked and pointed at the 3rd button on his fake Pendelton it amazed me as if I actually practice > oh ya remember the trips to the logging roads <, those tree stumps are imaginary gang members .
I am not good at the usual HALT OR I WILL SHOOT, or STOP, or FREEZE , what I am good at is long winded cussing, so I YELLED > One F'ing Move C Sucker And Your Dead, I Don't Give A S**t If You Got A Cell Phone In Your Pocket, Your Dead If You Try To Call Me With It !!!
Frito the mini bandito does the Fred Flinstone foot screech to a halt, > remember he is pointing an erection in his right pocket at me now at the edge of the 21 foot rule !!!
I am waitig instantly for his pocket to explode a bullet at me , I am walking sideways just a bit so he would have to re-adjust his pocket gun, he cant see his own gun as it is too close to his body in his pocket so he cant quite adjust his hip site alignment , and seeings how he is not a rocket scientist I know he wont think if this so now I am now a few degrees of axis from his 38 special Ipad pocket projection. I talk some more as morons are easy to fixate with verbal commands they don't multi task the way normal people who 'don't' smoke weed, sniff Testors model glue and drink malt liquor in the morning , and so I have is numb nuts attention, but his pocket still has an erection so I know at least it is not animal it is either veggie or worse mineral !
We are now at a American -Mexican standoff , I have a 3lb trigger job, its almost freezing out here and I cannot feel my fingers , so I am fully committed , between bellows of frost heave breath I see beaver Cleaver enter the octagon .
Beaver Cleaver runs up to Frito and grabs him pulling him away and backwards all the while saying, "be cool man no need for that gun", to me.
Princess Shapie, she scrambles , she is gone in a flash , She ain't got that " I am down for the ghetto" lil sista " Kill him mookie kill the old white guy" , little beotch attitude" , no not at all , she just wants to go back to being 2nd flute and crooked braces in the jr high school band .
I yell to Beaver, "get him out of here and save his life" !!!
End Standoff
The moral of the story is:
1) Be aware at all times .
2) Practice all that stuff the Clint Smith talks about.
3) Shut your dam mouth and don't be a big mouth - little body- big gun idiot like me, as I could very well have been facing down 3 wannabe gangsters with 3 guns , or got a hot one in the stomach from his pocket, or I could have tapped out the BG and had his 2 hostile witnesses against me and be sitting in a homicide detectives interview room drinking Folger's coffee crystals trying to remember what Massad Ayoob said about , about ahhh ahhh I can remember cause I am an idiot !!!
My .45 has been in hibernation in my Bianchi Ranger level I holster for quite some time until this morning.
It has only seen the range , well if you call the side of a logging road a range about 1x a month, other than that it has not been out of its cage to actually protect and defend in a long long time, other than OC with the usual mix of mild paranoid fearful with a smattering egotistical holier than thou looks from west coast castrated male metrosexuals and female vegan pseudo Buddhists.
Mostly is gets admired by every day good old boy's with dog collars on who wish they were 'allowed' to carry by their wife but they don't want to clash Cocobolo grips with their 'alpha' wife's brown fake pleather purse , poor guys, they are nice they look normal what with their pick up trucks and NY Giants ball caps, but they all think the Constitution is a old hand written receipt for a Civil war wooden submarine with the same name ! They think the 2nd Amendment is the paragraph preceding the one that says " Lessor will pay $500 a month on said big new diesel truck" at the dealership .
( Steve, knock off the lame attempt at home made funny prose and get with the gang banger story pal ) > sorry Mr moderator, lol.
Digressing: I drive in at 8am to work, park My truck with the BuckOfama bumper stick on it , walk out and turn the corner on foot into the alley to open the big steel commercial door to my office, and immediately notice 3 older teen's on the same alley about a Jr high school field goal kicker distance away.
I am half way to my door, about 10 yards away from it when teen 1 a female happens to look up from her artistic Sharp-e felt pen graffiti imitation of Picasso to see me intently watching her deface my ground power transformer.
She goes all 'big eye' on me, and then teen 2 a harmless skinny Beaver Cleaver school book bag of dough nuts sees me and elbow jabs teen 3 to show him the old guy ( me ) watching us .
Well now teen 3 is a different kind of young mutt, he is a modern day mini M-S 13 wannabe , He is the neighborhood show off , the one who just moved in from the big city , and the other 2 are the nice kids in the apt next door who are impressed with his pachuco mini macho taco honcho act.
Mini macho is wearing totally different clothes he is all Esay'ed up in typical Los Angeles barrio gang couture , he looks at me, ( stop ) Now I don't give a dam about anything at that moment, I have had no coffee yet , I am all sleep eye and it's 31 degrees, and I think Picasso sucks so I don't want no trouble, but mini macho he wants trouble so he opens with the usual high minded soliloquy in a lame imitation Tony Montana scar face voice " Hey what the F are You looking at" .
That's it , I have a weakness it is my loaded mouth, I always take the macho bait, * sigh, and so I have just had an adrenaline shot in lieu of my morning cup of Kona with what mutt breath just said to me, so I resort to a typical dumb immature guy and ya I retort with " Your in American now ,we don't piss on lamp post and scribble on walls pal" .
Sadly mini macho and I are now locked into a battle of inferior ego's , one of us has got to go.
There is an old Islamic saying that say's " Why do the men go to war, because the women are watching" , and well his woman is watching this and so mini macho has to vanquish me from ' his' alley as he just peed on and marked the transformer box my boss just paid for .
Mini macho grabs a bandana out of his pocket, puts it around his face in the old cowboy bank robber fashion, ties it off quickly like he has done this before to un-armed old ladies and now walks very fast right to me closing the 25 or so yards quickly at the same time the now Frito bandit-O jams his right hand into his XXL plaid jacket and all my alarms go off !!!
Funny how fast I can get my Carhart open, and fleece up and 45 out cocked and pointed at the 3rd button on his fake Pendelton it amazed me as if I actually practice > oh ya remember the trips to the logging roads <, those tree stumps are imaginary gang members .
I am not good at the usual HALT OR I WILL SHOOT, or STOP, or FREEZE , what I am good at is long winded cussing, so I YELLED > One F'ing Move C Sucker And Your Dead, I Don't Give A S**t If You Got A Cell Phone In Your Pocket, Your Dead If You Try To Call Me With It !!!
Frito the mini bandito does the Fred Flinstone foot screech to a halt, > remember he is pointing an erection in his right pocket at me now at the edge of the 21 foot rule !!!
I am waitig instantly for his pocket to explode a bullet at me , I am walking sideways just a bit so he would have to re-adjust his pocket gun, he cant see his own gun as it is too close to his body in his pocket so he cant quite adjust his hip site alignment , and seeings how he is not a rocket scientist I know he wont think if this so now I am now a few degrees of axis from his 38 special Ipad pocket projection. I talk some more as morons are easy to fixate with verbal commands they don't multi task the way normal people who 'don't' smoke weed, sniff Testors model glue and drink malt liquor in the morning , and so I have is numb nuts attention, but his pocket still has an erection so I know at least it is not animal it is either veggie or worse mineral !
We are now at a American -Mexican standoff , I have a 3lb trigger job, its almost freezing out here and I cannot feel my fingers , so I am fully committed , between bellows of frost heave breath I see beaver Cleaver enter the octagon .
Beaver Cleaver runs up to Frito and grabs him pulling him away and backwards all the while saying, "be cool man no need for that gun", to me.
Princess Shapie, she scrambles , she is gone in a flash , She ain't got that " I am down for the ghetto" lil sista " Kill him mookie kill the old white guy" , little beotch attitude" , no not at all , she just wants to go back to being 2nd flute and crooked braces in the jr high school band .
I yell to Beaver, "get him out of here and save his life" !!!
End Standoff
The moral of the story is:
1) Be aware at all times .
2) Practice all that stuff the Clint Smith talks about.
3) Shut your dam mouth and don't be a big mouth - little body- big gun idiot like me, as I could very well have been facing down 3 wannabe gangsters with 3 guns , or got a hot one in the stomach from his pocket, or I could have tapped out the BG and had his 2 hostile witnesses against me and be sitting in a homicide detectives interview room drinking Folger's coffee crystals trying to remember what Massad Ayoob said about , about ahhh ahhh I can remember cause I am an idiot !!!
Last edited: