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Dads against me buying a pistol

twoskinsonemanns

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Apr 12, 2012
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I think you're SOL until you get out of school and get your own place and vehicle. If he is a religious man ask him to pray that you don't get attacked as you will be defenseless.
Tell him if the worst should happen he should try hard not to blame himself. :p
 

marshaul

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good idea. this was one of my main ideas to show him i can safely and responsibly handle a handgun. i forgot to mention that we are both avid hunters and own many firearms. and know safe and responsible gun handling. its just the one thing he does not like are pistols.

First of all, what exactly is it that he doesn't like about pistols? Too many listens to Steve Earle's "Devil's Right Hand"?

Also, my own parents weren't too keen on me OCing when I started (although my first pistol was a birthday gift from my dad). They eventually got used to it. I'm pretty sure my dad still thinks it's silly, but he hasn't said anything negative in years. My mom is fairly pro-carry these days.

It's sort of become part of who I am, and my parents accept that. They also understand it's something I've thought about deeply.

I'm curious about the answer to my question before I ponder any advice of my own.
 
Joined
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First of all, what exactly is it that he doesn't like about pistols? Too many listens to Steve Earle's "Devil's Right Hand"?

Also, my own parents weren't too keen on me OCing when I started (although my first pistol was a birthday gift from my dad). They eventually got used to it. I'm pretty sure my dad still thinks it's silly, but he hasn't said anything negative in years. My mom is fairly pro-carry these days.

It's sort of become part of who I am, and my parents accept that. They also understand it's something I've thought about deeply.

I'm curious about the answer to my question before I ponder any advice of my own.
He thinks they can be abused easyer.I can see what he means about that if someone had one and didn't know proper gun safety and such. And another reason would be I guess he thinks if I own a pistol I will get a cowboy mentality or that I'm a big shot Beacuse I have a pistol. And that point brings up another thing that happened in the past. I had a ruger 10 22 with the normal stock on it with 2 25rd mags.I wanted ti get a ar since I was now legally able to buy one via private sale. He wasn't keen on the idea. He owns one. But his main reason was Beacuse he thought the image would get to my head like stated above. Well I Ended up changing the stock on the ruger to a tatical looking one.threw one of my big scopes on it and bam same gun different look. I could tell he wasn't very inthused about it. But what I got him to realize was it was the same gun and he finally got used to it. I don't think he realizes that I am responsible enough to own one. That might not be it but who knows.
 

Wstar425

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570
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Tomahawk and Abbotsford, Wi.
I think you're SOL until you get out of school and get your own place and vehicle. If he is a religious man ask him to pray that you don't get attacked as you will be defenseless.
Tell him if the worst should happen he should try hard not to blame himself. :p


I'm thinking along these lines as well. You live at home, use Dad's truck as transportation, can't carry at school and probably not even in the parking lot inside the vehicle. (I'm not up on Virginia laws, at the least.) Where would you keep/store your firearm while you are in school?

My Dad had long guns but did not like handguns. He never really gave me a reason up until he died. My Mom did not like handguns either much until we were eating out one day and I was open carry. I was about 50 or so. Another woman came up to me and asked why I thought I needed to carry a gun around with me? I pointed at my Mom and asked her if she knew who that woman was? She said I suppose your Mom? I said that's the most important woman in the world, I'll defend her with my life if I need to. I wanted to say I'd defend her with YOUR life if I have to, but I held my tongue. My Mom never said a word about it until I was dropping her off back home and then she asked me if I would really defend her with my life? Of course! She has never said another word about me carrying a gun, and I heard through the grapevine that she has told all of her friends about that day.

So, you never know what and when things will change, I suppose. I think you need to respect your parents' wishes as long as you live at home. I'm not sure what size boat we are talking about, but I thought most large yachts type boats had some kind of long guns on board for protection against !!!!!pirates!!!! and such? So, I actually think that might not be such a terrible idea, tho I suspect it might have been suggested somewhat in jest. (I could be wrong)
 

davidmcbeth

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im new to the site and i am 18. i already know that in va you can legally purchase a handgun at the age of 18 from a private sale and open carry. I commercial fish and the places i sell my catch to are not in the best neighborhoods. allot of times we get back late and the places are closed but they have it to where you can go there and ice down your fish for them to take in the morning. sometimes depending on what type of fishing we do we can get back around 12 or as late as 2 in the morning. i am a very situationly aware person always checking my surroundings. one thing that i don't like is my young age. an older person would consider me an easy target. id like to buy a pistol to carry for a last result. ok so this leads me to my question. my dad is not very fond of handguns because of how easy they can be abused. which can be understood. he doesnt think i should buy one. he has never owned one either. i would like to know of any possible ways i could convince him to change his mind. or a good argument that i could use to persuade him. thanks

You likely will not be able to change the mind of your father; he sounds like a communist who is very happy that you cannot defend yourself against the state.

You need not explain to me why you want a pistol; its your right. That's good enough for me and it should be good enough for anyone else.

If your father wishes to make his lame arguments of being an anti, he is free to open an acct and spew his merit-less claims and arguments.

Gun classes ? eh. Read the gun's manual is best and is focused on the actual gun you will possess. And time at a range to become proficient with the firearm.

Up to you where you go from here.
 

marshaul

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And another reason would be I guess he thinks if I own a pistol I will get a cowboy mentality or that I'm a big shot Beacuse I have a pistol.

Maybe you could ask him to come on the forum and read about some of our experiences.

I started OCing at 21, which may be a few years' more mature than 18, but not much. The first thing I discovered, as does basically any OCer who fundamentally wants to be responsible, is that it's a burden. It might make you feel "empowered" in the grander sense of knowing you're able to respond to many kinds of danger (and it's less disconcerting if you accidentally take a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood), but it gives you the exact opposite feeling in the immediate sense. In the right now having a gun gives you an immense sense of responsibility; that the slightest slip-up on your part could not only land you in jail so fast your head would spin, but it might even get people killed. Rather than making you feel empowered to "go in guns blazing", it makes you contemplative of the immense power you wield. It inspires restraint, if anything,

For instance, I've had a dude get pissed at me before after I was forced to "cut him off" due to heavy traffic and a narrow window. Guy followed me into a parking lot (actually, went around another entrance and came flying at me from the front in his giant red pickup, before pulling alongside my driver door). He got out of his truck and proceeded to yell at me, berate me, and attempt to physically intimidate me. He even kicked my car at one point (no damage so I didn't get legal about it).

The whole time I was sitting in my driver's seat, amusedly watching him go ballistic. Did I feel like some tough guy who could get up in his face in return and win a genital measuring contest? Nope. The pistol left me with nothing more than an underlying awareness that if this gentleman were to threaten my life, I could stop the threat in a heartbeat. But until that happened, I had precisely nothing to worry about and no reason to do anything but let him vent.

Truth is, the old me (before I carried) would probably have started yelling back at him, and potentially escalated the situation. As it happened, the only thing I said -- in an assertive but calm command voice -- was (after he kicked my car), "sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step away from my vehicle". Believe it or not, he promptly did just that. I let him yell some more, but he soon petered out, got back in his car, and drove off.

Of course, my life wasn't threatened, and it's not my intent to suggest this was a serious self-defense scenario. Quite the contrary; my point is that, if the pistol made me feel "empowered", it was the empowerment to sit back and watch, to not engage, without feeling like I was doing anything but precisely the correct thing.
 
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MAC702

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Jul 31, 2011
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Nevada
He thinks they can be abused easier.....

I'll repeat my first thought in Post #2, but change it from a "firearms safety course" to a "handgun safety course." Yes, they do need extra safety because of their short length and concealability, though they get advantages in being able to be holstered, too. The time you spend TOGETHER in the class will bond you, including how he sees you take the class seriously.
 

marshaul

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I was gonna mention the holster thing. A handgun in a holster is about as safe as a gun gets. It's too bad you don't already have one. Stick it in a holster, leave it there, and watch it do nothing.

After all, way fewer holstered handguns spontaneously discharge than rifles and shotguns which are carried in the hand, and the carrier trips, or the trigger is bumped by a twig. Those aren't even particularly rare events, but a holstered handgun discharging is virtually unheard-of.
 
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WalkingWolf

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I know I am going to hate myself for suggesting this, but maybe if he sees you OC a properly holstered non gun around the house and see you are responsible it might change his mind. I would not do it in public, most of us are staunchly against that.

If a non gun around home bothers him, his objection to handguns runs deeper than you.
 
Joined
Jan 20, 2015
Messages
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Poquoson VA
Maybe you could ask him to come on the forum and read about some of our experiences.

I started OCing at 21, which may be a few years' more mature than 18, but not much. The first thing I discovered, as does basically any OCer who fundamentally wants to be responsible, is that it's a burden. It might make you feel "empowered" in the grander sense of knowing you're able to respond to many kinds of danger (and it's less disconcerting if you accidentally take a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood), but it gives you the exact opposite feeling in the immediate sense. In the right now having a gun gives you an immense sense of responsibility; that the slightest slip-up on your part could not only land you in jail so fast your head would spin, but it might even get people killed. Rather than making you feel empowered to "go in guns blazing", it makes you contemplative of the immense power you wield. It inspires restraint, if anything,

For instance, I've had a dude get pissed at me before after I was forced to "cut him off" due to heavy traffic and a narrow window. Guy followed me into a parking lot (actually, went around another entrance and came flying at me from the front in his giant red pickup, before pulling alongside my driver door). He got out of his truck and proceeded to yell at me, berate me, and attempt to physically intimidate me. He even kicked my car at one point (no damage so I didn't get legal about it).

The whole time I was sitting in my driver's seat, amusedly watching him go ballistic. Did I feel like some tough guy who could get up in his face in return and win a genital measuring contest? Nope. The pistol left me with nothing more than an underlying awareness that if this gentleman were to threaten my life, I could stop the threat in a heartbeat. But until that happened, I had precisely nothing to worry about and no reason to do anything but let him vent.

Truth is, the old me (before I carried) would probably have started yelling back at him, and potentially escalated the situation. As it happened, the only thing I said -- in an assertive but calm command voice -- was (after he kicked my car), "sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step away from my vehicle". Believe it or not, he promptly did just that. I let him yell some more, but he soon petered out, got back in his car, and drove off.

Of course, my life wasn't threatened, and it's not my intent to suggest this was a serious self-defense scenario. Quite the contrary; my point is that, if the pistol made me feel "empowered", it was the empowerment to sit back and watch, to not engage, without feeling like I was doing anything but precisely the correct thing.
The more I think about this I think I'm starting to realize why he might be the way he is. The fact that it makes it so easy to use in a situation and kill someone.like their is a potential to take a life when it is not necessary. And that would be the responsibility factor of all of this. I think taking a hand gun training class for self defense. Like when to use and when not to use. Would probaly be a good idea. The chances of me getting into a situation where I would need to use a gun are slim but I'd like to know when I leave the house that I Hanne a means of protection if SHTF. If i knew I'd be put at risk only one day of my life and that was it I would still carry everyday just Beacuse I like to be prepared
 

HPmatt

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Aug 18, 2013
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Dallas
Reading the threads, and reflecting on my father the engineer and duck-hunter, and myself the non-practicing engineer, I can relate....
What's the probability - of being over limit when the game warden comes around (damn LA hunters never missed), of being under your daily limit and the flock of geese come in on you close to sunset and you run out of ammo, of hunting ducks in the tidal marsh in Texas in January and come across a 5' rattlesnake (longer when his head was on), or where is the nearest Dr to sew up your forehead when bashed on your shotgun receiver in the ATV when going through a ditch....

So I would suggest - 1) collecting news stories of criminal assaults from your home to your workplaces, or in your town at the times you are out working
- 2) he values his guns and understands the harm they could do if not secured - what is more valuable to him than family members, esp if #1 shows there is mischief afoot when you are out and about working,
- 3) I know in Houston there were issues w local shrimpers when the Vietnamese fishermen moved over from Viet Nam - didn't understand you didn't 'fish them all', or respect traditional fishing rights. Somewhat of a side note - Phil Robertson talked about his issues when he was fishing for his family - very powerful video of them on the 'I Am Second series' - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjqccYmx13w

Good luck w your dad - respect his reasons whichever way it goes, and be careful.







...I would not do it in public, most of us are staunchly against that...

In Texas we'd only OC our long guns around the house....
 
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skidmark

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You likely will not be able to change the mind of your father; he sounds like a communist who is very happy that you cannot defend yourself against the state.

You need not explain to me why you want a pistol; its your right. That's good enough for me and it should be good enough for anyone else.

If your father wishes to make his lame arguments of being an anti, he is free to open an acct and spew his merit-less claims and arguments.

Gun classes ? eh. Read the gun's manual is best and is focused on the actual gun you will possess. And time at a range to become proficient with the firearm.

Up to you where you go from here.

Way to go, davidmcbeth. Really classy!

At least you saved everybody the time that would have been needed to warn Bull Island Boy about you.
 

skidmark

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The more I think about this I think I'm starting to realize why he might be the way he is. The fact that it makes it so easy to use in a situation and kill someone.like their is a potential to take a life when it is not necessary. And that would be the responsibility factor of all of this. I think taking a hand gun training class for self defense. Like when to use and when not to use. Would probaly be a good idea. The chances of me getting into a situation where I would need to use a gun are slim but I'd like to know when I leave the house that I Hanne a means of protection if SHTF. If i knew I'd be put at risk only one day of my life and that was it I would still carry everyday just Beacuse I like to be prepared

You might want to find out if your father has some fear that if he had a handgun he himself might do something "bad". Many antis use some variation of the phrase "If I had a handgun I'd ...." and then project that same lack of self control onto everybody who does have a handgun.

Most of the folks here at OCDO spend much time and electrons discussing whether or not a reported shooting incident was "a good shoot" or not. We pull apart as much as we can with the information available whether the shooter took preemptive action rather than waiting until all of the required elements of using deadly force in self defense were met. Some of that, I hope, conditions both our emotions and our brains to be sure the threat is both truely imminent and (even in places such as Virginia where there is no legal duty to retreat) that all possible alternatives to shooting were exhausted or did not exist before using deadly force.

Alternatively, get your own place where you can make your own rules. It may take time and effort, but it may be the only way to achieve your goal.

stay safe.
 

davidmcbeth

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Way to go, davidmcbeth. Really classy!

At least you saved everybody the time that would have been needed to warn Bull Island Boy about you.

Straight talk is all.

OP has the option: buy a gun or don't.

Up to him, as I said.

But he'll see a lot of commies in his life, including family members.
 

skidmark

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Straight talk is all.

OP has the option: buy a gun or don't.

Up to him, as I said.

But he'll see a lot of commies in his life, including family members.

Communists or socialists?

I don't think there has been a real commie since Angela Davis, and she morphed into a socialist to get that job at UC.

Bull Island Boy knows he either buys the handgun or not. That does not sem to be the point, which was how to swing his father's opinion.
 

WalkingWolf

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Communists or socialists?

I don't think there has been a real commie since Angela Davis, and she morphed into a socialist to get that job at UC.

Bull Island Boy knows he either buys the handgun or not. That does not sem to be the point, which was how to swing his father's opinion.

We certainly do not need his father coming here and reading David's post which may feed into his fears. Honestly David sometimes you should self moderate.
 

marshaul

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Good point. I suggested his dad come here, and I spent some time writing a post I thought might contribute.

And then DMB came along and crapped on my work with a few seconds' worth of puerile, thoughtless platitudes.

Hey David, why don't you take your "contributions" to an anti-gun forum for a while? And, **** you too.
 
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Back to the topic that I originally posted...thanks to thoes who have provided helpful input. I think my dad is concerned that I would get my self in a bad situation or possibly make a bad decision with a pistol. Im pretty sure this in one of the main factors. I wanna show him that I have the maturity to safely own on. I want to show him that I'd take actions to be responsible and be tought the right and wrong about carrying a hand gun. I told I'm I'd be willing to take classes for it before to show him but it didn't seem to phase him. Honestly I'd like to take some before I got one just Beacuse I'm not that knowledgeable on the subject of open carrying for personal defense.so it's not like I'm just gonna straight out the box carry it into town kinda thing just to make a statement. I actually want to learn how to use it to the best of my abilities.last thing is want to happen is get in a situation where I need to use it and not know what to do.
 
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