2012: How The World Ends

And here is to you, it is only through your support that these things are possible. *drinks*



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Free Klondike bars and Jack Daniels...



You sir, have a bright future in politics! :lol:

All of my life, my parents, my teachers, my authority figures. They all though I'd make a great lawyer due to my ability to discover and squeeze through the tinniest of loopholes in the most solid of laws/rules. Little did they know that it was just practice for when I became a politician.

All that JD I've been buying? It's not for me, I'm not an alco. I've had maybe three drinks in the last two weeks. No, it's for the voters. All the Klondike Bars? Well, I've been losing weight, haven't I? Can't really do that while on a strict diet of chocolatey ice cream goodness. That's not to say that one can't indulge their good senses with a delicious Klondike Bar regularly. But I digress.

You see, a lot of politicians think that they have to buy their way into office by exchanging handjobs for campaign contributions from big businesses and favors from other politicians with big financial supporters. Nah. I know the secret. All you have to do is offer free Klondike Bars and JD to those loyal to you, and BAM! You end up with far greater support than what big business would give you. You don't have to spend lavishly on big campaign ads that call the other guy(or girl) fat. Just promise everyone free Klondike Bars and JD and all of a sudden everyone is not only voting for you, but helping to pay what little campaign expenses you have, mostly the Klondike & JD bills.

Yes, my plan is flawless, yes I will be the next president, and no, unlike Obama, I do not offer false promises of hope. I offer something tangible, something that can actually be had, and something that will be had. I offer Klondike Bars and JD for all! And how do I plan to pay this? Not with Ameircan tax payer dollars, no, that wouldn't be a free bar at all! No, I'll pay for it by taxing the other countries so they wont get blowed up first. :monkey

Jack House said:

Yes, my plan is flawless, yes I will be the next president...

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So, that's how the world ends?

since9 said:

So, that's how the world ends?

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Jack House said:

You see, something else happens this year. It's the presidential elections. What no one yet realizes is that they will be pushed back to December 21st. On that day, either myself or Obama shall be elected. If either party is elected, it will without doubt mean the beginning of the end for the world.

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