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Wife's readiness state worries me

Pyro01

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 21, 2009
Messages
202
Location
Menomonie, Wisconsin, USA
Wife unprepared for home/self defense

So, with all the rain we've been having lately, it's been getting humid in our house. We live below ground in half a house and so even though we keep the dehumidifier running, we still found some mold growing in our spare bedroom closet. I sent out an email to the rental office on Saturday, and they responded back to me at 9:42 AM this morning via email saying they'd have someone over today to take care of it. By the time I got to work at 10AM, sat down for 5 minutes and checked my email on my phone, and saw that message, and forwarded the email to my wife, my boss came up and asked if I saw another email and had a chance to read it. I said I'd get on it, and soon after I took care of the task about 3 minutes after my boss came to talk to me, I received a phone call from my wife.

She said when she came out of the bathroom this morning she saw the stairwell lights(the stairwell that leads to outside, 2 locked doors) on, thought it was odd. She came out and was getting ready to sit down and eat, she walks over to the stairwell light switch to turn off the light, and as she was halfway through the living room, the maintenance guys pops out of the spare bedroom and scares my wife. He explains that he sprayed the walls for the mold and that we should keep the dehumidifier running. I'm not sure if anything else was said, but he walks back out of our house and then she calls me and tells me what happened.

She couldn't have been more than 15 feet from the guy and if he had been an intruder who had picked the door locks or smashed the glass real quietly to get in, she would not have been able to run into the bedroom in time to grab the shotgun loaded with buckshot. I had taken my Taurus .45 with me as I usually do, and the only other gun that I would leave loaded would have been my S&W 460 mag.(with 45 colt ammo for HD), but I had put that away because we babysitted over the weekend and I didn't want the kid to find it, he's only about 4 years old.

Anyways, I probably wouldn't have called her until the afternoon to see how her day was going, and it just really worries me that something really bad could have happened to her. She is trained on how to handle firearms safely because her dads really into firearms and she grew up deer hunting for 6 years. However, for those who don't already know, she hates open/concealed carry and people other than police carrying guns for self-defense. She's fine with me keeping a loaded shotgun in the house, but god forbid if I ever asked her to carry a gun. She doesn't even like it when I do it, so I usually don't but a loaded gun is never far from me.

She's deluded into thinking our house can't easily be broken into because there's two locked doors in our main stairwell. We have a rear stairwell whose outside door we keep locked and the inside door unlocked in case we have to ask our friends living upstairs to take care of our dog during the day. Then we also have 4 large window wells that can be climbed down into, which also serve as fire escapes. We leave the windows closed and locked unless we're home and the weather is nice and cool out. I'm definitely going to have to re-evaluate our security especially since I know my wife came this close to potential harm had it been anyone other than that maintenance man. Granted he had house keys, but there are other ways of entering a house silently...

Oh, one final thought, she thinks her semester of self-defense she learned at college is enough to protect her, but I think that situation only applies when she is able to run away, you can't do that easily in our house. Even then, if it were someone about my size(6'3" 225 lbs, strong), she'd have an extremely hard time being able to do so, let alone get to the shotgun in time.

I guess what I want to know from you guys, other than ways to make my house more secure, ways to make her more aware of her surroundings and increasing her survivability.
 
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Badger Johnson

Regular Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2011
Messages
1,213
Location
USA
How did the Maintenance man get in the house without knocking. I'd be ripping him a new one for not calling or asking permission to enter. In fact I think your wife has cause to rip into you for not telling her.

$.02
 

VW_Factor

Regular Member
Joined
Nov 1, 2010
Messages
1,092
Location
Leesburg, GA
You need a happy medium of readiness. My wife is very nervous'ish and "ready" with things going on around.. Noises that sound perfectly normal (metal building shifting while cooling off at night) will set her into high alert.
 

Pyro01

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 21, 2009
Messages
202
Location
Menomonie, Wisconsin, USA
Oops, that was a part I left out, she said the maintenance man told her he knocked and rang the doorbell while she was in the bathroom. Our beagle barked twice but my wife thought she was hungry or really had to go outside. There is also an exhaust fan in the bathroom which makes it difficult to hear the doorbell.

There was only about 5 minutes between the time I read the email, to the time she had called me. After I read the email, I forwarded the email to her and my boss interrupted me right after I finished forwarding. The time it took for me to receive the email in my inbox at 9:42 to the maintenance man getting there was less than 20 minutes. That was nontypical to how fast they usually get work done, if it had been me in her situation, I woulda grabbed the shotgun and started clearing. We weren't aware that he was coming that morning till I checked my email. I'm definitely going to have a word with our rental company.
 

Pyro01

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 21, 2009
Messages
202
Location
Menomonie, Wisconsin, USA
How did the Maintenance man get in the house without knocking. I'd be ripping him a new one for not calling or asking permission to enter. In fact I think your wife has cause to rip into you for not telling her.

$.02

The rental company provides a set of keys to get into the house to do repairs if we're not home. She wasn't mad at me at all though at me, and thats what has me worried. Things are definitely going to change. Very poor communication, they didn't even provide us with a time for repairs.
 
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Tom Maassen

Regular Member
Joined
Jul 8, 2011
Messages
59
Location
West Bend, Wisconsin, United States
I guess what I want to know from you guys, other than ways to make my house more secure, ways to make her more aware of her surroundings and increasing her survivability.

Not sure if you're were looking for recommendations on the security system or not, but I have something very similar to this installed. It's wireless, so it's perfect for rentals. I've lived in many rentals, so it's a system that can be easily taken down and moved, but NOT easily defeated.

http://www.amazon.com/AAS-V500-Wireless-Security-Alarm-System/dp/B0041HP79M/ref=pd_rhf_p_t_2

I'm currently in a similar boat with my current residence, as I have a couple of windows literally at ground level and a balcony that is easily climbed. I've was installing intrusion and surveillance systems for many years, both commercial and residential. That little extra piece of mind is always nice.

If that one's a little out of your price range, just Google DIY ALARM SYSTEMS and look around. Amazon offers quite a few reliable systems, and none of them require a monthly monitoring fee. All the systems offer additional accessories like smoke detectors, carbon monoxide detectors, extra key pads, cellular modems, the works.

PM me if you want any help picking it up, setting it up, or anything else
 
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Zeus

Regular Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2011
Messages
194
Location
Neenah
My best advice would be to arrange for her to meet a female firearms instructor who carries and she can relate to better. Someone who can help her understand that she is 10 times more likely to have a violent encounter than a man. Here is a very good informative site for women about firearms and why they should carry- http://www.corneredcat.com/ Hope this helps.
 

jpm84092

Regular Member
Joined
Mar 5, 2010
Messages
1,066
Location
Salt Lake City, Utah, USA
My best advice would be to arrange for her to meet a female firearms instructor who carries and she can relate to better. Someone who can help her understand that she is 10 times more likely to have a violent encounter than a man. Here is a very good informative site for women about firearms and why they should carry- http://www.corneredcat.com/ Hope this helps.

Awesome advice Zeus! +1 my friend.

This situation is one of the very reasons that I pushed so hard on MKE GAL to get her NRA Certified Firearms Instructor- Pistol. Often, only a woman can fully instill the necessary knowledge, skills, and attitude necessary to facilitate another women to "get it". I strongly encourage you Mr. Pyro, to send a PM to MKEGAL and request her services. (Tell her the yellow cat with the M-4 sent you and she will become very attentive).

I also echo the sage advice of Mr. Zeus when he refers you to "the cornered cat". PAX is really awesome.
 

GLOCK21GB

Campaign Veteran
Joined
Apr 22, 2009
Messages
4,347
Location
Green Bay, Wisconsin, USA
So, with all the rain we've been having lately, it's been getting humid in our house. We live below ground in half a house and so even though we keep the dehumidifier running, we still found some mold growing in our spare bedroom closet. I sent out an email to the rental office on Saturday, and they responded back to me at 9:42 AM this morning via email saying they'd have someone over today to take care of it. By the time I got to work at 10AM, sat down for 5 minutes and checked my email on my phone, and saw that message, and forwarded the email to my wife, my boss came up and asked if I saw another email and had a chance to read it. I said I'd get on it, and soon after I took care of the task about 3 minutes after my boss came to talk to me, I received a phone call from my wife.

She said when she came out of the bathroom this morning she saw the stairwell lights(the stairwell that leads to outside, 2 locked doors) on, thought it was odd. She came out and was getting ready to sit down and eat, she walks over to the stairwell light switch to turn off the light, and as she was halfway through the living room, the maintenance guys pops out of the spare bedroom and scares my wife. He explains that he sprayed the walls for the mold and that we should keep the dehumidifier running. I'm not sure if anything else was said, but he walks back out of our house and then she calls me and tells me what happened.

She couldn't have been more than 15 feet from the guy and if he had been an intruder who had picked the door locks or smashed the glass real quietly to get in, she would not have been able to run into the bedroom in time to grab the shotgun loaded with buckshot. I had taken my Taurus .45 with me as I usually do, and the only other gun that I would leave loaded would have been my S&W 460 mag.(with 45 colt ammo for HD), but I had put that away because we babysitted over the weekend and I didn't want the kid to find it, he's only about 4 years old.

Anyways, I probably wouldn't have called her until the afternoon to see how her day was going, and it just really worries me that something really bad could have happened to her. She is trained on how to handle firearms safely because her dads really into firearms and she grew up deer hunting for 6 years. However, for those who don't already know, she hates open/concealed carry and people other than police carrying guns for self-defense. She's fine with me keeping a loaded shotgun in the house, but god forbid if I ever asked her to carry a gun. She doesn't even like it when I do it, so I usually don't but a loaded gun is never far from me.

She's deluded into thinking our house can't easily be broken into because there's two locked doors in our main stairwell. We have a rear stairwell whose outside door we keep locked and the inside door unlocked in case we have to ask our friends living upstairs to take care of our dog during the day. Then we also have 4 large window wells that can be climbed down into, which also serve as fire escapes. We leave the windows closed and locked unless we're home and the weather is nice and cool out. I'm definitely going to have to re-evaluate our security especially since I know my wife came this close to potential harm had it been anyone other than that maintenance man. Granted he had house keys, but there are other ways of entering a house silently...

Oh, one final thought, she thinks her semester of self-defense she learned at college is enough to protect her, but I think that situation only applies when she is able to run away, you can't do that easily in our house. Even then, if it were someone about my size(6'3" 225 lbs, strong), she'd have an extremely hard time being able to do so, let alone get to the shotgun in time.

I guess what I want to know from you guys, other than ways to make my house more secure, ways to make her more aware of her surroundings and increasing her survivability.

I am 6'6" 300 pounds..Women that think their "self defense training" will save them from a BIG GUY are ..I am sorry to say....fooling themselves...I am not trying to make light of what happened or belittle your lovely wife...Like you pointed out A really BIG GUY will just over power a woman..unless she happens to be almost as big as the BIG GUY :( i MIGHT suggest getting a dog..medium sized like a Lab...Dogs HATE intruders....
 
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GLOCK21GB

Campaign Veteran
Joined
Apr 22, 2009
Messages
4,347
Location
Green Bay, Wisconsin, USA
I'm glad the maintenance man didn't get shot.

I would have had the guy...crapping...... in his pants & maybe ..PEEING....himself... as he got to examine the Mossberg 590A1 or the Ruger SR-556 or the Glock34 ( Depending on where I was in the house at the time ) from 1 foot away from his head...
 

GLOCK21GB

Campaign Veteran
Joined
Apr 22, 2009
Messages
4,347
Location
Green Bay, Wisconsin, USA
The rental company provides a set of keys to get into the house to do repairs if we're not home. She wasn't mad at me at all though at me, and thats what has me worried. Things are definitely going to change. Very poor communication, they didn't even provide us with a time for repairs.

by law ..they only have to give you 24 hours notice ..after that they can show at anytime with-in 8 hours after the 24 hour notice...I know...I have rented for 6 years now.... :(
 

Pyro01

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 21, 2009
Messages
202
Location
Menomonie, Wisconsin, USA
Well, I wasn't really looking for recommendations on security systems. I've installed a few myself and if I had some extra money lying around I'd probably spend on it on getting one of those security systems you linked to. For now, we're taking extra precautions in making sure all entrances to our home are secured, and I'm trying to give my wife some pointers on surroundings awareness, even while at home. Me personally, when someone comes and rings my doorbell, and I'm not expecting anyone, I'm on high alert.

I had heard of the corneredcat before, but I wasn't aware that you could read it for free online. I'll have to read through that for my benefit as well as hers, as for finding her a female firearms instructor, I have one in mind. She said she'd consider going to firearm training with me provided it's nearby and we're sitting well for cash. All it took was a little scare and she's changed her mind from hell no to possibly.
 

Citizen

Founder's Club Member
Joined
Nov 15, 2006
Messages
18,269
Location
Fairfax Co., VA
I wouldn't get too concerned based on this scenario. It sounds like the maintenance guy let himself in with a key, which is not something your average house breaker is gonna do.

The only way she can be more prepared is to carry around the house.

I carry around the house, but mostly because I put on the gun as part of getting dressed and wouldn't think to take it off any more than I would take off my belt or take out my wallet until the end of the day. Not because I'm concerned about a home invasion. If I have to do something around the house that requires the gun coming off, then off it comes.

I might only use her recent experience as an example to explain how she should keep everything locked so she can at least hear an intruder breaking in. Something along those lines.

At some point we have to decide how much security we are willing to put on ourselves for how much risk- reducing benefit.
 

DangerClose

Regular Member
Joined
Jun 12, 2011
Messages
570
Location
The mean streets of WI
One of my wonderings is how strong those locked doors are. The lock doesn't matter a whole lot if the door frame can just be broken, etc. And even a little kid can pick a lock with some practice. After a few minutes of explanation of how to do it, I had my brother pick his front door open in under five minutes.
 

Pyro01

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 21, 2009
Messages
202
Location
Menomonie, Wisconsin, USA
One of my wonderings is how strong those locked doors are. The lock doesn't matter a whole lot if the door frame can just be broken, etc. And even a little kid can pick a lock with some practice. After a few minutes of explanation of how to do it, I had my brother pick his front door open in under five minutes.

The good news is both the doors open outward, so you can't kick it in unless you cut the hinge pins off. The biggest vulnerability is our window wells, they're all crank windows that open outward, but you could probably take a crowbar and pry the windows open, or just break the windows. Since the windows are below ground level, you could just hop down there and spend as much time breaking in as you want without someone seeing you as long as you're quiet.
 

Pyro01

Regular Member
Joined
Oct 21, 2009
Messages
202
Location
Menomonie, Wisconsin, USA
by law ..they only have to give you 24 hours notice ..after that they can show at anytime with-in 8 hours after the 24 hour notice...I know...I have rented for 6 years now.... :(

We technically had 20 minutes of notice before the guy got to our house and let him in. By the time I actually read the email at 10:05 AM, the guy had already let himself in, scary huh? On the bright side, she has agreed to possibly take some training with me, my parents live in New Berlin too and so maybe I can set up an appointment with MKEgal sometime. She told me she'd be willing to use a taser to defend herself, that's a start isn't it?
 
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