I have to admit
I take an active role in my two kids, and if I only had the one I do not believe corporal punishment would ever be needed, however in cases where they have caused injury to the other out of direct knowledge it was cause pain, I have from time to time used a swat, this is not the first step however, because before I swat my child for the direct action to hurt another I sit down with them calmly explain what they did, explain how it hurt the other, I have connected that hurting others will cause them some pain. This has worked every time I have ever had to use it. My children typically listen, they follow the rules in almost every place we go. I do let them run amok on occasion at home, and demonstrate that its okay here to be a little wild because, home should be a place to let down ones hair so to speak.
Most of the time talking to them for any other offense has worked very well, and apologies tend to follow any talk I have with them, when they do not apologize I place them alone in time out, am firm about them staying there to think about what they did wrong after explaining what they did wrong. I wait about 5 min or so, and then ask if they know what they did wrong, I almost always get an intelligent response from them, and then a genuine attempt to make amends, with the offended individual. I do have to say that one must be active with ones own kids to ensure that they are not zombies, and how many kids will look at their fathers as the reason to blame for where they are in life.
I honestly can not say that it is wrong to blame your trainers for your mistakes when your trainer just ignored you, or your actions. If I was a boxer for instance, and my trainer just decided to let me figure it out on my own, I am more likely to kill some one in the ring, use illegal moves, and cause serious harm or damage! Is it my fault for not know these rules, well to some degree certainly, however I would blame the trainer who never said hey that is an illegal move, dont do that because it could kill some one, dont do that because you will get kicked out of the sport forever. These are things that a Parent should be telling their kids.
If you leave your kid to his own, he will figure out how to play the game of life, but he is far more likely to not respect the world around him, and far more likely to fail. He will fail to follow the rules, fail to abide by the laws, fail to tell his friends no. these are things that will come up, and he will be far more likely to play along. I dont blame the kids at columbine I blame the parents for not having an active role in their kids lives, one father said he didnt know what to do so he just ignored his son, the other was said to be abusive. You tell me where these kids had good guidance!!!!
The only guidance was from video games, and screamo music! it was not to blame for their actions, however when there are no good role models, no one to teach kids this becomes what they look for, they need that trainer, and they try to find one in anything they feel relates to them.
IE the Music, and Games were not the real issue as they would have been a non issue if the parents had raised their kids. I believe in full heart that the parents of those kids should be held accountable in part for those kids actions, they did not hold the guns, but they did bring about the actions because they chose not to take an active role in their kids lives!!!
Responsibility falls first to the individual, and then to their trainers, there are cases where good training still released a bad seed, but this is not the norm. I feel if we were more active, and we had less fatherless homes we would have less crime, less failure, less screw ups, we would have more success, more stability, more responsibility. America is failing because the family dynamic is failing.