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My "always" gun is a Kahr P9 Covert, that is a CCW piece, by necessity, due to my work. When I get to carry what I want, I have a Kahr K9 (9mm), a GLOCK 23 (.40 Short and Weak) and a Kimber Stainless TLE (.45ACP) that I rotate, depending on what I feel like that day. There is no such thing as "major stopping power" when it comes to handguns. A 12-guage loaded with anything from #4 to 000-buck has stopping power.
If you really think about it, poking small holes with mini-missiles in your attacker to make him stop immediately, is a wishful theory at-best. I'm not down-playing the role of the handgun in defense, but I am always mindful of it's limitations while I choose to rely on the idea of having to deployit in defense of me and mine.
As was said earlier, defensive handgun shooting is kinda like real estate. The only thing that matters is LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION. I have seen first hand, the results ofmany real-lifeshootings with calibers ranging from .22LR all the way up to 12 guage loaded w/3" magnum #6 steel shot. I'm a mortician by trade, and here's what I've learned:
Buy something in the 9mm/.38spl range OR LARGER, if you are comfortable with something larger, and practice, practice, practice. I know of one case where a single 115gr. 9mm FMJ killed a fairly large man instantly. Shot placement was key in this one. I have also seen a .22LR cause more damage than it had the right to when it snuck it's way into the nasal cavity of the victim.
There are only three ways to stop an attack with a firearm, once the shooting has begun.
1) Putting lead & copper into the central nervous system (brain and spinal cord) of an attacker is the only way to guarantee a "stop." The bullet's dimensions don't matter if you score a CNS hit. (Likepeople who die from .22's that found their mark.) This type of wound destroys the body's wiring, preventing the message of homicidal activityto make it to the hands/feet/etc...by means of paralyzation. If the hit occurs in the spinal cord, the attacker will sometimes survive. A"boiler room" shotis almost always fatal. Caliber and style of bullet doesn't matter in a CNS shot, however the brain is well-protected behind the cranium, and these type of shots are difficult, at best, to obtain in the stress of a real-life firefight.
2) Another way that a bullet stops an attackis to make the attacker "black out" due tomajor blood loss. Death usually occurs soon-thereafter, if professional medical aid is notadministered immediately (transfusions, etc.). Caliber can play a role in this, considering you are more likely to cause major blood loss the larger a hole you can put through someone. This is why the .45ACP has worked so well in history. (Bigger holes leak faster.) This is also why there is a recent advent of modern high-performance jacketed hollow point (JHP)ammunition for defensive use. Expansion is to enhance the bullet's ability to hit a major vein or artery,causing major bleeding to occur, and crushing thegreatest amount of soft tissue in the process. This is the type of shooting that most gunfights "end" with. A service caliber weapon, (9mm/.38 or larger) loaded with modern, expanding bullets is the best bet, if you are to "play the statistics." Smaller calibers might work, but service calibers "might work" more often.
3) The other option is to stop the attack with what I like to call a "structural" shot. It's kinda hard to fire a gun in your right hand when both the radius and the ulna in your right arm have been shattered by a bullet. To destroy a major portion of the skeletal system has been an advantage in plenty of gunfights. Imagine a 12 guage slug going through your hip bone just above the socket where your right leg connects to it. You wouldn't feel much like walking, huh? You're not a bi-ped anymore. Larger, non-expanding bullets do this the best. .45 ACP loaded with Col. Jeff Cooper's preferred FMJ-TC (truncated cone [flat point]) ammo is a good option for this type of disabling. You can't count on using this method and choosing a caliber around it, as only the larger calibers have much of a chance of doing this.
4) I know I said there's only three ways, but I guess the fourth would be that the pain, and shock of being in the firefight and actually being hit with a bullet (even in a non-CNS, non-vital, non-disabling area) would be enough for a bad-guy to "give up."
Abraham Lincoln once said, "The better prepared I am, the more luck I seem to have." This rings true in many things in life. Putting accurate shots--yes, plural (of whatever caliber and flavor you choose), is the most important thing in a pistol fight. Which means you need a pistol that is first, reliable, and second, accurate in your hands. Everything else, as they say,is gravy.
Wow, that was long.
We'll see if I can convince my wife that I need two handguns...