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Wife angry at my OC/CC...
- Thread starter n16ht5
- Start date
SouthernBoy
Regular Member
imported post
A few years ago, there wasa particularly viscious and heinous murder of a young couple in Tennessee (Knoxville I think). I don't recall their names, but I do recall the brutality of the horrific crime. The things that carried out this murder (I will not call them human as they most certainly were not) were caught and if this wasn't a "hate" crime, I don't know what is. If one of our good members from Tennessee can fill in the missing parts to this, that would be most helpful. The point being is this. Relate this murder to her. Tell her you never know when and from where an attack might come. Let her know that the reason you carry is to keep something like this from happening to the two of you.
Looks like you're moving on the right path.
A few years ago, there wasa particularly viscious and heinous murder of a young couple in Tennessee (Knoxville I think). I don't recall their names, but I do recall the brutality of the horrific crime. The things that carried out this murder (I will not call them human as they most certainly were not) were caught and if this wasn't a "hate" crime, I don't know what is. If one of our good members from Tennessee can fill in the missing parts to this, that would be most helpful. The point being is this. Relate this murder to her. Tell her you never know when and from where an attack might come. Let her know that the reason you carry is to keep something like this from happening to the two of you.
Looks like you're moving on the right path.
FMCDH
Regular Member
imported post
n16ht5 wrote:
What part of Washington?If you are near the Seattle area, I would be happy to sit down with you orboth of you. I am not an LEO, but I was a contract protections agent (fancy term for body guard)for 5 years before joining the Coast Guard and I have been through several combat shooting courses.
One additional thing you can do is sit down with here an make a physical list of her concerns. Calmly and rationally write down what her fears are, and then answer each in turn as to how you will address or mitigate each fear.
A common example is, and one my own wife asked...
Concern: "What if you slip and fall on the ice and come down on your gun? Wont it shoot you or someone else?"
Answer: "Most modern firearms, especiallyhandgunsare drop tested well beyond the tolerances of such a hit. Short of something punching through andpulling the trigger through the holster's trigger guard, the chances of a pistol drop firing when fixed to the human body is less than that of being hit by a Boeing 737 while standing in the Sahara. Thats assuming you are carrying a handgun with NO safety devices besides a trigger safety, such as a Glock."
If she is still overly concerned with it, carry a handgun with an external safety. This all but eliminates any chance of a drop fire, even if you were to fall from a skyscraper.....that will make her feel better eh?
n16ht5 wrote:
What part of Washington?If you are near the Seattle area, I would be happy to sit down with you orboth of you. I am not an LEO, but I was a contract protections agent (fancy term for body guard)for 5 years before joining the Coast Guard and I have been through several combat shooting courses.
One additional thing you can do is sit down with here an make a physical list of her concerns. Calmly and rationally write down what her fears are, and then answer each in turn as to how you will address or mitigate each fear.
A common example is, and one my own wife asked...
Concern: "What if you slip and fall on the ice and come down on your gun? Wont it shoot you or someone else?"
Answer: "Most modern firearms, especiallyhandgunsare drop tested well beyond the tolerances of such a hit. Short of something punching through andpulling the trigger through the holster's trigger guard, the chances of a pistol drop firing when fixed to the human body is less than that of being hit by a Boeing 737 while standing in the Sahara. Thats assuming you are carrying a handgun with NO safety devices besides a trigger safety, such as a Glock."
If she is still overly concerned with it, carry a handgun with an external safety. This all but eliminates any chance of a drop fire, even if you were to fall from a skyscraper.....that will make her feel better eh?
compmanio365
Regular Member
imported post
Yeah, please list where abouts in WA you are, you can list it in your profile, and if you are close, you should join us and bring the wife to the BBQ in Seatac on the 28th of March. That would let her see how even a large group of OCers can get together, and have a great time with no issues whatsoever.
Yeah, please list where abouts in WA you are, you can list it in your profile, and if you are close, you should join us and bring the wife to the BBQ in Seatac on the 28th of March. That would let her see how even a large group of OCers can get together, and have a great time with no issues whatsoever.
XD40coyote
Regular Member
imported post
One day I was in the bathroom at home and wasn't watching my belt, and my holster slipped off with the 1 in the pipe XD, and the whole package went CLUNK onto the floor. Nothing happened, just as I knew it would be. They won't even fire if you don't have the grip safety 100% pushed in. A bad grip on the gun and if that grip safety is only in 90%, it won't go bang. So long as the holster is retentive and holds the gun in firmly, and the trigger area is covered, there shouldn't be any AD's, though some older guns may be like this from what I have read, not to mention the recent recall of walther ppk's. But I haven't heard of any modern striker fired pistols or modern dbl action revolvers ADing. NDing yes, but that is a user problem, not a gun problem. Keep the booger hook off the bang switch, and don't play with a gun, even if you have quadruple checked it to be cleared. If you want to "play" with a gun, get an airsoft or get into paintball.
One day I was in the bathroom at home and wasn't watching my belt, and my holster slipped off with the 1 in the pipe XD, and the whole package went CLUNK onto the floor. Nothing happened, just as I knew it would be. They won't even fire if you don't have the grip safety 100% pushed in. A bad grip on the gun and if that grip safety is only in 90%, it won't go bang. So long as the holster is retentive and holds the gun in firmly, and the trigger area is covered, there shouldn't be any AD's, though some older guns may be like this from what I have read, not to mention the recent recall of walther ppk's. But I haven't heard of any modern striker fired pistols or modern dbl action revolvers ADing. NDing yes, but that is a user problem, not a gun problem. Keep the booger hook off the bang switch, and don't play with a gun, even if you have quadruple checked it to be cleared. If you want to "play" with a gun, get an airsoft or get into paintball.
Soundtrackzz
Regular Member
imported post
I hate to be "that" guy, but i probably wouldnt marry a woman who wouldnt put up with me and my guns. After all, guns and dogs will never divorce you
I hate to be "that" guy, but i probably wouldnt marry a woman who wouldnt put up with me and my guns. After all, guns and dogs will never divorce you
XD-GEM
Campaign Veteran
imported post
We got our XD in the first few days following Hurricane Katrina. My job required that I be back in New Orleans even when the city was essentially off limits - and still quite dangerous. I had protection at work because the company had hired armed guards for the facility,although employees were forbidden from being armed themselves. However, I had no protection at home; so my wife was OK with me getting the gun - although a big persuader from me was the idea I put forward that we could always sell thegun when things settled back to normal.
As I began to delve more deeply into gun ownership and rights, I became convinced of the necessity to carry; and I began to OC a good bit. When this seemed to be upsetting to my wife, I got a concealed handgun permit in order to assuage her concerns - in fact, I now CC more often than I OC, in spite of my being a strong OC advocate, specifically for harmony in my marriage.
On a recent married couples' retreat, my wife brought up the gun and my time spent on gun boards like this as being a major concern to her. She feared I was changing into someone she might be afraid of. I told her that I'd explain my carrying, but not on the retreat, as it was going to take longer than the time periods allotted for discussion. I promised that I'd explain on the hour long drive home.
On that drive, I took her step by step through my thought process as I became more and more convinced of the necessity for me to carry. I drew on much of the information I learned here and at other sites, including the religious arguments that have been addressed. It took most of that hour, but she finally understood that I was still the same loving husband she'd always had - and that she and our family were being protected by God through me. She even decided to try shooting the gun herself again (her first and only session at the range when we first got the XD proved that she was a naturally good shot, but she said that she was afraid she'd like it "too much"). We'll be going to the range together as soon as we can find time when our schedules and the range's line up.
Communiication and honesty -keys to any successful marriage - are what you need to use to help you with your "helpmate."
We got our XD in the first few days following Hurricane Katrina. My job required that I be back in New Orleans even when the city was essentially off limits - and still quite dangerous. I had protection at work because the company had hired armed guards for the facility,although employees were forbidden from being armed themselves. However, I had no protection at home; so my wife was OK with me getting the gun - although a big persuader from me was the idea I put forward that we could always sell thegun when things settled back to normal.
As I began to delve more deeply into gun ownership and rights, I became convinced of the necessity to carry; and I began to OC a good bit. When this seemed to be upsetting to my wife, I got a concealed handgun permit in order to assuage her concerns - in fact, I now CC more often than I OC, in spite of my being a strong OC advocate, specifically for harmony in my marriage.
On a recent married couples' retreat, my wife brought up the gun and my time spent on gun boards like this as being a major concern to her. She feared I was changing into someone she might be afraid of. I told her that I'd explain my carrying, but not on the retreat, as it was going to take longer than the time periods allotted for discussion. I promised that I'd explain on the hour long drive home.
On that drive, I took her step by step through my thought process as I became more and more convinced of the necessity for me to carry. I drew on much of the information I learned here and at other sites, including the religious arguments that have been addressed. It took most of that hour, but she finally understood that I was still the same loving husband she'd always had - and that she and our family were being protected by God through me. She even decided to try shooting the gun herself again (her first and only session at the range when we first got the XD proved that she was a naturally good shot, but she said that she was afraid she'd like it "too much"). We'll be going to the range together as soon as we can find time when our schedules and the range's line up.
Communiication and honesty -keys to any successful marriage - are what you need to use to help you with your "helpmate."
trailblazer2003
Regular Member
imported post
SouthernBoy wrote:
Channon Christian and Christopher Newsom were the two I believe you reference. The crime was horrendous at best, no person should have to endure anything like what happened to them.
SouthernBoy wrote:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Channon_Christian_and_Christopher_Newsom
Channon Christian and Christopher Newsom were the two I believe you reference. The crime was horrendous at best, no person should have to endure anything like what happened to them.
FMCDH
Regular Member
imported post
trailblazer2003 wrote:
trailblazer2003 wrote:
Have your wife or significant other read that and ask them which option they would prefer.
trailblazer2003
Regular Member
imported post
FMCDH wrote:
FMCDH wrote:
The problem is some still will refuse to believe it can happen to them. You know it may not, but I would rather error on the remote chance it does than be raped and killed. Some will never get it until it's to late.
cbunt1
Regular Member
imported post
My wife never really cared either way--she didn't grow up around guns, and I did. being from Texas, guns are as natural part of my landscape as cows and pickup trucks--and just as benign.
When we got serious about a life together, and moving in together, I insisted she at least try a couple shots from my various guns, "just in case" -- since living with me meant living with guns in the house.
It settled most of her uncertainty...The remainder of her nutrality is/was simply lack of significant interest on her part.
She really came around to being comforted by my guns when our house was broken into a few years ago. As fate would have it, it was the one time in years i *Didn't* have a pistol in the truck with me...in fact, when I called the Sherriff's department to report the burglary (and the fact that they were still there, and I had confronted them) the 911 dispatcher/deputy asked me "Do you have your gun?" (guess I was pretty well known in that small county).
BTW--All came out well with that, and they didn't even get away with anything!
At any rate, between that incident, and my mother's home being burglarized more recently, she's become quite comfortable with my carrying now, and is even considering doing the same.
She even frequently comes to IDPA matches--and she's a far more attractive brass-catcher than a net strapped to my wrist!
Hopefully your wife will come around, and hopefully it won't take similar incidents for her to do so.
The only thing I ever "insisted" my wife do with/about the guns is be generally familiar with them--the basic safety rules, and know how to clear any of them...
Best of luck with this...
My wife never really cared either way--she didn't grow up around guns, and I did. being from Texas, guns are as natural part of my landscape as cows and pickup trucks--and just as benign.
When we got serious about a life together, and moving in together, I insisted she at least try a couple shots from my various guns, "just in case" -- since living with me meant living with guns in the house.
It settled most of her uncertainty...The remainder of her nutrality is/was simply lack of significant interest on her part.
She really came around to being comforted by my guns when our house was broken into a few years ago. As fate would have it, it was the one time in years i *Didn't* have a pistol in the truck with me...in fact, when I called the Sherriff's department to report the burglary (and the fact that they were still there, and I had confronted them) the 911 dispatcher/deputy asked me "Do you have your gun?" (guess I was pretty well known in that small county).
BTW--All came out well with that, and they didn't even get away with anything!
At any rate, between that incident, and my mother's home being burglarized more recently, she's become quite comfortable with my carrying now, and is even considering doing the same.
She even frequently comes to IDPA matches--and she's a far more attractive brass-catcher than a net strapped to my wrist!
Hopefully your wife will come around, and hopefully it won't take similar incidents for her to do so.
The only thing I ever "insisted" my wife do with/about the guns is be generally familiar with them--the basic safety rules, and know how to clear any of them...
Best of luck with this...
SDguy
Regular Member
imported post
Over the last two years I have moved my wife from "I am not going anywhere with you if you wear a gun" to:
She and my college age daughter now both carry regularly and I am not even asked if I have a gun on me. Both my wife and daughter are nowoccasionally caught in the firearms section of Cabela's.
My wife says that she can't imagine having a gun stashed rather than on her person.
Four of us in my home have CC permits and carry daily now. Nobody gives it a second thought and I feel lost when leaving the house without a gun on my person.
Over the last two years I have moved my wife from "I am not going anywhere with you if you wear a gun" to:
She and my college age daughter now both carry regularly and I am not even asked if I have a gun on me. Both my wife and daughter are nowoccasionally caught in the firearms section of Cabela's.
My wife says that she can't imagine having a gun stashed rather than on her person.
Four of us in my home have CC permits and carry daily now. Nobody gives it a second thought and I feel lost when leaving the house without a gun on my person.
FMCDH
Regular Member
imported post
cbunt1 wrote:
cbunt1 wrote:
Pretty much the same with me. I made her take a familiarity and safety class where she got to shoot several different guns. She knows how to load them, aim them, shoot them and clear them should the need arise for her to pull my pistol from my cold dead hand to defend herself or shoot someone in a home invasion, but I wont insist on her carrying if she chooses not to.
LeMat
Regular Member
imported post
n16ht5 wrote:
n16ht5 wrote:
No. There have been times in which I would have left the house without the gun if my wife did not remind me. She thinks it is a wonderful idea and cannot wait to get her permit.
Hammer
Regular Member
imported post
Interesting what a variety of responses come from the women who have their man prepared to defend them and their children....
My wife thinks it is the best thing that could happen for me to carry, whether OC or CC. She appreciates that I defend her and children/grandchildren over anything else, even myself.
Over the years there have been a couple occasions where it was obvious that if not for a firearm, there would have been mayhem.
for those ladies who don't grasp the gravity of the situation, and think one can run away or avoid confrontation, I hope they read up on just some of the many occasions where the mere presence of a firearm has prevented greater harm from criminals.
I realize a lot of emotion rules the decision to fear a firearm, but if some gentle education can shed light on the wisdom of preparedness, maybe some of the ladies will change their minds....
Interesting what a variety of responses come from the women who have their man prepared to defend them and their children....
My wife thinks it is the best thing that could happen for me to carry, whether OC or CC. She appreciates that I defend her and children/grandchildren over anything else, even myself.
Over the years there have been a couple occasions where it was obvious that if not for a firearm, there would have been mayhem.
for those ladies who don't grasp the gravity of the situation, and think one can run away or avoid confrontation, I hope they read up on just some of the many occasions where the mere presence of a firearm has prevented greater harm from criminals.
I realize a lot of emotion rules the decision to fear a firearm, but if some gentle education can shed light on the wisdom of preparedness, maybe some of the ladies will change their minds....
MarlboroLts5150
Regular Member
imported post
N00blet45 wrote:
N00blet45 wrote:
It may have been said and/or done already, but sit down with her and have a "heart-to-heart" with her about exactly what it is thats making her uneasy.
ODA 226
Regular Member
imported post
My wife survived 5 years of Civil War in her country of Croatia. She doesn't like firearms but understands the utility and necessity of being armed and she supports me in both OC and CC. She supports my daughter OCing also and intends on getting her CHP once she gets her green card.
My wife survived 5 years of Civil War in her country of Croatia. She doesn't like firearms but understands the utility and necessity of being armed and she supports me in both OC and CC. She supports my daughter OCing also and intends on getting her CHP once she gets her green card.
Rayce Bannon
Regular Member
imported post
If she ventured w/u to a shooting course, such as 'Front Site' or whatever, she may come away w/ a totally new perspective.
peace b the journey
If she ventured w/u to a shooting course, such as 'Front Site' or whatever, she may come away w/ a totally new perspective.
peace b the journey
flying_174
Regular Member
imported post
I'm almost in the same boat as you. I just recently bought and started carrying. We've only been married for a year. She is not completely understanding of it, and sometimes thinks its ridiculous that I strap it on just to go get the mail.
The one thing I have going for me is that she knows why Igotit. We recently had some neighbors move next door to us whobrought some very bad company around. One morning at 6am we were woken up to someone screaming. I got up and looked out the window and saw a man I had never seen before beating my neighbor on his front porch. The only thing I could do was call the police. It made both of us realize that we need to be able to protect our family. We have a son and I can't imagine not being able to protect either one of them if something were to happen whether it be at 6 in the morning or at 12 in the afternoon while we're in theWal-mart parking lot. I carry everywhere, mostly to make a good habit of it. I train, I prepare. I read this quote and it stuck with me(don't remember where)"Carry a gun, it's a muchlighter weight than regret."
The biggest thing she doesn't like is all the time I spend researching laws and spending time on this forum.Guess I'll have to find that balance.
I'm almost in the same boat as you. I just recently bought and started carrying. We've only been married for a year. She is not completely understanding of it, and sometimes thinks its ridiculous that I strap it on just to go get the mail.
The one thing I have going for me is that she knows why Igotit. We recently had some neighbors move next door to us whobrought some very bad company around. One morning at 6am we were woken up to someone screaming. I got up and looked out the window and saw a man I had never seen before beating my neighbor on his front porch. The only thing I could do was call the police. It made both of us realize that we need to be able to protect our family. We have a son and I can't imagine not being able to protect either one of them if something were to happen whether it be at 6 in the morning or at 12 in the afternoon while we're in theWal-mart parking lot. I carry everywhere, mostly to make a good habit of it. I train, I prepare. I read this quote and it stuck with me(don't remember where)"Carry a gun, it's a muchlighter weight than regret."
The biggest thing she doesn't like is all the time I spend researching laws and spending time on this forum.
Guess I'll have to find that balance.