As any security expert will tell you, the only way to ensure your safety when confronted by a gun-toting homicidal maniac on a murdering spree is to call the proper authorities and wait patiently for them to arrive as only they have the training and skills necessary to handle these situations. Among those proper authorities would be the police, the medical examiner, the mortician, the grief counselor and the obituary editor of your local paper.
But you can’t stop there. To be really safe, you have to take that extra step and make sure you advertise that fact as widely as possible, since the more people who know that a given area is populated by hundreds of defenseless pre-victims, the safer they’ll all be.
You can try this strategy yourself. The next time you’re going away for a few days, leave your house unlocked and make sure you update your facebook page, tweet your followers, and post your plans on Craig’s List, so as many people know as possible being sure to note in very stern language that burglary is illegal.
And then sit back and enjoy your worry-free trip.
Mr. Fimian’s opponent, current incumbent Congressman Gerry Connolly, had his campaign manager, James Walkinshaw, respond in the measured tones that have marked this campaign season, calling Fimian’s comments, “extreme,” “outrageous,” “way out of the mainstream," showing a “lack of regard for the victims of the tragedy,” and “too extreme.”
There was no word on whether Mr. Walkinshaw required oxygen afterwards.