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Regular Member
Jul 21, 2008
Alexandria, Virginia, United States
imported post

A FEW YEARS AGO I was partaking of ny Thanksgiving feast in a restaurant in Alexandria, having had neither the time nor the wherewithal to be with my family in the Midwest. Presently a little boy began to rip and tear around the restaurant, ignoring the protests of his parents.

The other diners were visibly upset at the scene. And so, when the boy's parents had reined him in but he was still protesting, I decided to do something. I arose from my dinner and went over to their table and addressed his mother.

"Maa'm", I said, "If I may, I would like to have a word with this young man."

The restaurant fell silent and she looked at me suspiciously. "Who are you?" she said warily.

"I am Special Agent Alex. Section chief, North Pole Police" I replied.

Fortunately for me, everyone in the place - including the boy's parents - "got it". A gasp arose from the assembled diners as his mother said: "OH, Owen! Look, it's an elf!!"

Now of course kids that age seek attention, and Owen realized that he had more attention than he possibly had ever had. All of a sudden, he was at the center of the universe for real. And he was very uncomfortable with it.

"Now Owen" I said, "You know how everyone says Santa is watching you? Well, Santa is always busy, but he has us watching, and I just saw you sassing your mother."

Owen's eyes started to puddle and his lip started to tremble.

"Now Owen, you know that disobeying your parents is bad. But guess what? I used to be a little boy myself. I know that little boys like to riop and tear and ru around, And they like to have fun. And Owen, Santa likes it when litttle boys and girls are having fun. Oh, if a little boy doesn't want to rip and tear all over, Santa even gets worried that there might be something wrong!" But Owen, that is why Santa wants little boys to obey their parents. Look at all the sharp edges on these tables! What if you were to hit your head and cut it open and need stitches? That wouldn't be something you would like, and it would ruiin everyone's dinnner too! And Santa would be so sad to see you in the hospital with a doctor and a needle sewing your head up!"

By tis time I could tell that young Owen was on the verge of a full-fledged bawl. So I said:

"Now Owen, I just told you why you need to obey your parents. Did you learn from this?"

Owen snuffled back his tears and nodded.

"Well then' I said, 'Learning is all what being a kid is about, and so if you learned something, you were doing what you were supposed to be doing". I pulled a notebook out of my jacket and pretended to "look up" his name.

"So' I said, 'I am going to write in my report here that Owen was GOOD on Thanksgiving!"

The tears vanished and his face was as if the sun had risen. "THANK YOU! THANK YOU! he said, and I nodded and walked back to my table. A couple of people began to applaud, but I shook my head. I finished my dinner and quietly left. I wonder if I did any good. I certainly hope so.

"The Kingdom of Heaven is made of such as these"



Regular Member
May 12, 2007
Western Prince William County, Virginia, USA
imported post

Or you could do like a guy with whom I once worked in a retail store did. We had such a kid running around and the mother saying nothing about it. As the kid ran past this guy, he casually stuck out his foot and tripped the little rug rat. This guy was large and bald and didn't like kids, so the problem child quickly learned what not to do.


Founder's Club Member
Nov 17, 2009
Greensboro, North Carolina, USA
imported post

Great story Alexcabbie, good stuff.

Now when that kid gets a little older, he might be wondering what sidearms the North Pole Police carry :lol: