imported post
I'm new on the board, but those of you who know jarhead have probably met or at least heard of me because I'm his wife. Anyway, he was telling me about this story, and I couldn't help myself. I had to come on and say that I would shake eccstac's hand if I ever met him. Let me tell you why. . .
A few years ago (before I met my husband), I was living with a man who finally threatened to kill me. Compared to the story described here, I received few bruises, but I was definitely in fear for my life. This put me and my children in a domestic violence shelter for which I am very grateful. While I was there, I heard several stories about men who would beat their wives in public just to prove to them that no one would ever help them. :shock:I could not believe that our "live and let live" society was really that horrible--that selfish. But it was true. It is still true for many, many women.
So, did eccstac put himself in danger? Yes, absolutely. Are those of you who said that she probably ended up with him again later right. Statistically, yes. However, in the state of Washington (Ohio might be different), the decision to prosecute this guy will not be left up to her--it will be left up to the DA's office. This is the case in all domestic violence situations. Had eccstac stayed in the apartment, it would be another case of he said/she said. However, since he got involved, he is now an excellent witness for the prosecution, so once again, KUDOS!
I do not believe in carrying simply for the defense and protection of my loved ones, though they do come first. However, I could not live with myself if I did defend those who could not defend themselves. I may not be as good at it as my husband :lol:, but I am no longer a victim. Does that mean that I should allow others to be victimized? Absolutely not! I don't think anyone is saying that we should all go out and look for trouble, but sometimes we are faced with a situation in which we can either act or get out of the way so that someone else can. In my neighborhood, I already KNOW that the cops are not going to come out unless there is no danger in it for them. So why not diffuse the situation as quickly as possible? If the cops had been called and no one had stepped in, he could have killed her or injured her far worse before they ever arrived.
One last thing. It seems that she was not in a full-fledged relationship with this guy, and that MIGHT make a difference. However, a woman is in the most danger 6 months after she leaves her abuser. If you ever find yourself in this situation or anything similar, please encourage the woman to get someplace safe until the guy is caught. (Not that all abusers are male, but the statistic does not go both ways.)
Thanks for letting me play on the board!