thebigsd
Founder's Club Member
Thought this article was interesting. Seems to go along with the general idea that we are losing our civility at rapid pace. Thoughts?
http://usat.ly/pm3F01
http://usat.ly/pm3F01
In a study she co-wrote, 86% of 289 workers at three Midwestern firms reported incivility at work.
The Civility in America 2011 poll of 1,000 adults...
SNIP Is that a Pulitzer I spy on the horizon?
That was a rude or discourteous act, starting this thread.
Robert A. Heinleinhttp://forum.opencarry.org/quotes/authors/r/robert_a_heinlein.htmlAn armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life.
(much more in the original, but you get the point)Human beings only have two ways to deal with one another: reason and force. If you want me to do something for you, you have a choice of either convincing me via argument, or force me to do your bidding under threat of force. Every human interaction falls into one of those two categories, without exception. Reason or force, that’s it.
In a truly moral and civilized society, people exclusively interact through persuasion. Force has no place as a valid method of social interaction, and the only thing that removes force from the menu is the personal firearm, as paradoxical as it may sound to some.
When I carry a gun, you cannot deal with me by force.
The problem is one of internalization v. externalization. When someone feels bad because of something that was said, these days, they are more likely to externalize, that is blame an outside source, another person, for their bad feelings. This is appropriate when the other person says something personal with intent to bring about hurt feelings. More often, it would be more appropriate for the person whose feelings were hurt to internalize, to look inward, to try to understand why he feels the way he does, to choose whether or not to feel that way, and to take steps to stop feeling that way if that is his choice.
Case in point: The other day, a coworker asked me if we had any iPads without 3G for Verizon. I told her, quite matter of factly, that that kind of iPad does not exist, that all Verizon iPads have 3G, that 3G is the way the device connects to the Internet through Verizon. It turns out that the customer wanted a WiFi-only iPad (making the 3G carrier moot) and communicated that idea imprecisely. We got him the iPad that he wanted.
Later, the coworker called me aside and told me that she didn't appreciate me telling her that a non-3G Verizon iPad did not exist. She had externalized her hurt feelings and blamed my having shared something that she did not know for those feelings. Instead she should have internalized. She should have realized that there was a gap in her knowledge and sought to close that gap.
I told her that I had no ill-intent. She just kept telling me that it made her feel bad and that she didn't appreciate it. I don't know what I'll do the next time she places herself in such a situation. I will be hesitant to share the facts with her, concerned that she will get her feelings hurt again. I guess I'll just try again to be matter-of-fact. If she rebukes me again, I will just apologize again but request that she not ask me for help again.
Anyway, IMO, if you stick to the facts and have no intent to injure the sensibilities of others, then, by definition, you are not being uncivil. Incivility is when the focus of someone's comments is the person of another, instead of ideas and facts (no matter how badly the other does not want to hear those ideas and facts). If someone says something that you don't like, unless they are insulting your person, grow a thicker skin, and look inside for relief for your own feelings.
If another is truly being personally insulting, clearly targeting your person with their comments, then he is truly being uncivil and you should feel free to take umbrage.
I (i.e. inner city, no parents/one parent)
Let me get this straight: she 'asked' for your help and you gave it. Her feelings were then hurt because she is stupid. And this is somehow your fault...ummmmm....
How are you going to blame one parent house holds for someone being a [vulgarity deleted]?...
It is not the governments fault, that would be externalizing, we all need to internalize and look to ourselves as the likely problem.