Sharpender
Regular Member
This is OC off topic, but as I've said in the past, I value your opinions.
Theoretical Scenario
Setup: You are married, and have a twelve year old daughter. You are the coach of your daughter's soccer team and regularly play at elementary schools. You have a strained relationship with your 36 year old brother, who is an Oxycontin/Valium addict. Your brother is unemployed, has an 8th grade education, has never lived anywhere other than with mom and dad, and has other mental health issues.
Story: Two weeks ago you get a call from your crying mother saying your brother assaulted your father, held his illegally obtained .40 to his own head saying he had no reason to live and "give me a reason to shoot myself!" He then jumped in his car and left. Your parents will not call the police because your brother says he will just shoot himself. Your brother typically has similar episodes about twice a year. This is the first time there has been physical violence involved. Your mother goes on to say that your brother may be heading to your home. When you hang up with your mother you holster your firearm, put your shotgun within reach, and wonder if he might actually show up. Doors and windows locked, lights out. By this time your daughter is crying, worried that he will show up; your wife is sure he will. You know you should leave the house and call 911, you decide not to...you're thinking if you call the police and they do find him and he commits suicide, your parents would never forgive you. You later think you should have done it anyway. For the last six months you have been worried that you will get a call in the middle of the night saying your brother has murdered your parents. He's just about the last person on the planet that should own a firearm.
As it turns out, your brother never shows up and the following day claims that he doesn't really remember much of what happened. Mom and dad sweep this episode under the carpet as per their norm, and ask you not to tell him you know what happened. You have since decided that the relationship with your brother is over until he is drug free, having spent 90+ days in an inpatient treatment program, and is working with a therapist to resolved whatever internal issues cause him to have his bi-annual flip outs. Your daughter will not be visiting grandma and grandpa at home until you are satisfied that your above conditions have been met.
Problem: You are concerned that your brother will show up at a soccer game and want to "talk". How do you protect your family when you are coaching your daughter's soccer team...on school property? Should I be walking away from the team to protect all of the other girls from what might happen? You feel you should have your gun on your hip, but that's not an option. You've thought about a no contact order, but that won’t prevent anything. You would not be surprised if he showed up at your home or a game, hoping for a violent confrontation.
Also, feel free to critique "your" actions in the "Story" section above since you are fairly certain you could have handled it better in hindsight.
Thanks!
Theoretical Scenario
Setup: You are married, and have a twelve year old daughter. You are the coach of your daughter's soccer team and regularly play at elementary schools. You have a strained relationship with your 36 year old brother, who is an Oxycontin/Valium addict. Your brother is unemployed, has an 8th grade education, has never lived anywhere other than with mom and dad, and has other mental health issues.
Story: Two weeks ago you get a call from your crying mother saying your brother assaulted your father, held his illegally obtained .40 to his own head saying he had no reason to live and "give me a reason to shoot myself!" He then jumped in his car and left. Your parents will not call the police because your brother says he will just shoot himself. Your brother typically has similar episodes about twice a year. This is the first time there has been physical violence involved. Your mother goes on to say that your brother may be heading to your home. When you hang up with your mother you holster your firearm, put your shotgun within reach, and wonder if he might actually show up. Doors and windows locked, lights out. By this time your daughter is crying, worried that he will show up; your wife is sure he will. You know you should leave the house and call 911, you decide not to...you're thinking if you call the police and they do find him and he commits suicide, your parents would never forgive you. You later think you should have done it anyway. For the last six months you have been worried that you will get a call in the middle of the night saying your brother has murdered your parents. He's just about the last person on the planet that should own a firearm.
As it turns out, your brother never shows up and the following day claims that he doesn't really remember much of what happened. Mom and dad sweep this episode under the carpet as per their norm, and ask you not to tell him you know what happened. You have since decided that the relationship with your brother is over until he is drug free, having spent 90+ days in an inpatient treatment program, and is working with a therapist to resolved whatever internal issues cause him to have his bi-annual flip outs. Your daughter will not be visiting grandma and grandpa at home until you are satisfied that your above conditions have been met.
Problem: You are concerned that your brother will show up at a soccer game and want to "talk". How do you protect your family when you are coaching your daughter's soccer team...on school property? Should I be walking away from the team to protect all of the other girls from what might happen? You feel you should have your gun on your hip, but that's not an option. You've thought about a no contact order, but that won’t prevent anything. You would not be surprised if he showed up at your home or a game, hoping for a violent confrontation.
Also, feel free to critique "your" actions in the "Story" section above since you are fairly certain you could have handled it better in hindsight.
Thanks!
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