Need some help: wife opposes me carrying

[BB62]

...(sorry if this makes you pout a bit DaveT) but if you would work a bit more on your communicative, compromising, and pervasive skills you might come out ahead...

He may have pervasive skills, but not persuasive skills.

 

[solus]

sorry BB62, et al., i used the word i meant to use...
ipse

 

[WalkingWolf]

I would never make concession on a personal choice or especially right. I also respect my spouse's individuality, same for any girl friends I have had. It works very well if there is that understanding from the start.

 

[WalkingWolf]

Sorry, DaveT, but did you truly expect some miraculous transformation of your partner after a months worth of ~220 gun forum posts from various strangers?

(sorry if this makes you pout a bit DaveT) but if you would work a bit more on your communicative, compromising, and pervasive skills you might come out ahead. you haven't even had enough time to see if any member's suggestions (DavidMcBeths and others advocating divorce and such not included) a chance to work. yet you have spent a bit of time responding out here discussing the woes of your situation. as pointed out by some folk, they have been working for years to prove aspects to their partner so their partner can become accustom to some facet of their personality.

as my daddy used to say...'remember Rome wasn't built in a day!' yet you apparently expect majik to be worked.

as insinuated by some, me thinks DaveT you possibly have deeper seated issues within your familial unit than you are acknowledging or letting on which require resolving between you, your partner, her brother, et al., sooner rather than later.

ipse

Actually his compromise skills are the issue/problem. Somethings you do not compromise on, never, nada. The sooner a PARTNER understands that the smoother sailing the marriage will be. For that to work the spouse must on occasion swallow their pride and allow the other the same freedom to make individual choices.

OP why do you bother to even discuss it, you know the outcome. Just do it, and plant your feet, she will get over it. If she doesn't then she really does not respect you.

 

[MyWifeSaidYes]

After THIS...

Furthermore, I have decided this is the LAST time I give in to her on this issue.

...why is he still posting?



Here is what is needed:

#1 - Reattach male reproductive organ

#2 - Conceal carry. If your state requires training, that should offset your wife's concern of you 'going off'. If no training required, get some.

If OPEN carry is the cause of the marital strife, then dear god in heaven, man, carry CONCEALED and end this thread!

 

[wimwag]

Well, looks like I spoke to soon. We were going to the movies and she demanded I leave the gun at home.

Not there yet. I've been wearing it everywhere since the start of this thread, and this is the first time she's pushed back.

The next time she brings it up before going out, try telling her that even if your carrying a gun results in the end of your marriage that it will be worth it to keep her safe. Then help her with her jacket and hold the door for her. Women love being coddled, it supports their theory that they should be royalty.



Sent from my Nokia Lumia using Tapatalk and glitchy Windows 8

 

[Maverick9]

[*]She - and now she tells me the rest of her family too - thinks I'm going to go off half-cocked into a situation and get myself arrested or killed...

Wait a sec. SHE TOLD her family that you are carrying, or planning to carry a firearm?

That kind of thing should be kept inside the immediate family. Why would she tell everyone? That's betrayal, plain and simple and ground for divorce, imo.

 

[wimwag]

You know, sometimes I REALLY wonder about what your motives are. I also wonder whether Eye95's assessment of you was fully justified.
The OP is making an honest call for advice, not attacks or taunts for not "being king" at home. Outdated thought, if I may say so (I prefer the stronger-willed women, and I'm not very attracted to submissive girls).

Since the beginning of the year, and up til about a month ago, it seemed like you'd really matured and wanted nothing more than to lend aid to members here. You made some very humourous posts, and posted very informative links in that time. Then you started up a thread that ruined the good run you were having. Remember the one?

Dude needs a spit shield for his helmet. Duuuhhhhh eeerrrrr gaaaaaaaahhhrrrrrr deeeerrrrrrppppp



Sent from my Nokia Lumia using Tapatalk and glitchy Windows 8

 

[BB62]

...If OPEN carry is the cause of the marital strife, then dear god in heaven, man, carry CONCEALED and end this thread!

From your lips to God's ears!!

 

[DaveT319]

So my angry response to her asking me to leave the gun at home at her brother's request prompted another discussion the next day, and we may have hashed things out a little better. I'm not going to say things are fixed, but she certainly knows how serious I am about this. I've been willing to accept leaving the gun in the car when we go to her family's places, but I was very upset that she had me leave it when going out with family to a public place, not to mention that she was siding with her brother's wishes over mine on the issue.

So we talked some more, and she's coming to understand how serious I am about wanting to try to keep us safe in an increasingly dangerous world. She admits that she doesn't want to believe that it can be dangerous, but I think she gets that I want to try to keep it from being so.

She has also agreed that I should get my CHL so that I can conceal it when in "mixed company" so as not to upset anyone or make them uncomfortable.

So that's the latest developments.

 

[DaveT319]

Wait a sec. SHE TOLD her family that you are carrying, or planning to carry a firearm?

That kind of thing should be kept inside the immediate family. Why would she tell everyone? That's betrayal, plain and simple and ground for divorce, imo.

Yes, she did. I think she went to them to discuss her discomfort with my decision, and they apparently volunteered their own concerns. They know I've never been shy about helping others (I have twice helped police make an arrest, and twice helped other citizens make an arrest), so they apparently think I'm going to run head-long into dangerous situations, which isn't the case. I likely WOULD go to someone's aid - armed or not - because that's the kind of person I am. But I know enough about tactics to keep myself as safe as possible in such situations.

 

[davidmcbeth]

After THIS...



...why is he still posting?



Here is what is needed:

#1 - Reattach male reproductive organ

#2 - Conceal carry. If your state requires training, that should offset your wife's concern of you 'going off'. If no training required, get some.

If OPEN carry is the cause of the marital strife, then dear god in heaven, man, carry CONCEALED and end this thread!

Oh man, get ready for all the ladies to start complaining about your post.

I'll bet the wife tells him what color **** to output too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giQ0I__-46o

 

[davidmcbeth]

You know, sometimes I REALLY wonder about what your motives are. <snip>

Well, it ain't to stroke a guy and tell him its OK for someone to tread on 2nd amendment rights ... no matter who they are.

Libertarians don't play that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA
The OP cannot even listen to Gilbert Gottfried ^^ -- super-NSFW---

 

[WalkingWolf]

Jeeez, just carry, don't argue about it, she does not have the right to deny your right. Stop trying to convince her, and JUST DO IT. When she tells you to jump, STOP asking how high. She will get over it, if she does not she does not love you.

NOW if you are controlling her life in any way the above goes out the window.

 

[Maverick9]

Yes, she did. I think she went to them to discuss her discomfort with my decision, and they apparently volunteered their own concerns. They know I've never been shy about helping others (I have twice helped police make an arrest, and twice helped other citizens make an arrest), so they apparently think I'm going to run head-long into dangerous situations, which isn't the case. I likely WOULD go to someone's aid - armed or not - because that's the kind of person I am. But I know enough about tactics to keep myself as safe as possible in such situations.

Has she been around when you 'helped cops and other citizens' make an arrest? If so, maybe that's why she's worried. PERHAPS you should promise that if you DO go to another person's aid you would not involve the firearm.

If YOU are thinking 'oh, when I get my gun I can go make armed arrests'. WRONG. You should NEVER carry a firearm if that's your thinking. Going to someone's aid is one thing. HELPING to make an (unarmed) arrest more than once in a lifetime screams MALL COP. WANTING to be armed to help ups it to a whole other level and that's spelled 'K-O-O-K'. Don't be that guy.

 

[solus]

i do so enjoy seeing, as paul harvey used to say ~ 'now the rest of the story'

DaveT, apparently i am not the only one who thinks, you truly think your little inner self (ego) desires to be a law enforcement somebody, don't you?

most folk might, in a life time, have an encounter 'assisting' police but you just claimed to have, how many?

i believe your partner doesn't wish to become a widow...quote: But I know enough about tactics to keep myself as safe as possible in such situations. unquote

apparently not, as you keep seeking these types of situation(s) out.

I also believe you are thriving on this thread as it provides you with the stimulation you need to satisfy the little inner self...

I do not feel you have heard your wife's arguments or you have tuned out her concern for your well being and projected your own objections.

DaveT you are in for a rude 'zimmerman' style awakening if your keep up your current path and i do not believe your history will bode well within the judicial system when it catches up with you after you come to the aid of some citizen.

ipse

 

[WalkingWolf]

i do so enjoy seeing, as paul harvey used to say ~ 'now the rest of the story'

DaveT, apparently i am not the only one who thinks, you truly think your little inner self (ego) desires to be a law enforcement somebody, don't you?

most folk might, in a life time, have an encounter 'assisting' police but you just claimed to have, how many?

i believe your partner doesn't wish to become a widow...quote: But I know enough about tactics to keep myself as safe as possible in such situations. unquote

apparently not, as you keep seeking these types of situation(s) out.

I also believe you are thriving on this thread as it provides you with the stimulation you need to satisfy the little inner self...

I do not feel you have heard your wife's arguments or you have tuned out her concern for your well being and projected your own objections.

DaveT you are in for a rude 'zimmerman' style awakening if your keep up your current path and i do not believe your history will bode well within the judicial system when it catches up with you after you come to the aid of some citizen.

ipse

And they will use his posts on this forum against him.

IMO if he wants to carry, then carry, that is his right. But his wife has good reason to be concerned with his desire to be a white knight.

I have often said I do not carry to help others, if I do as a deterrent that is ok. But I am not paid to be a cop anymore, I will be damned if I stick my nose in others business, and jeopardize myself and my family. Want to be a hero, fill out a app, take the exam, and put on the uniform.

 

[Rusty Young Man]

SNIP...I have often said I do not carry to help others, if I do as a deterrent that is ok. But I am not paid to be a cop anymore, I will be damned if I stick my nose in others business, and jeopardize myself and my family. Want to be a hero, fill out a app, take the exam, and put on the uniform.

+1
I've already decided to defend only my loved ones or myself. Children (as the only innocent human beings among us) would be included, but everyone else is not likely to warrant an active effort on my part.
In any case, I will try to be a good witness in hopes the violent criminal may be caught.

Known antis can rest assured I will respect their Right to choose to be easy prey.

 

[BB62]

i do so enjoy seeing, as paul harvey used to say ~ 'now the rest of the story'

DaveT, apparently i am not the only one who thinks, you truly think your little inner self (ego) desires to be a law enforcement somebody, don't you?

most folk might, in a life time, have an encounter 'assisting' police but you just claimed to have, how many?

i believe your partner doesn't wish to become a widow...quote: But I know enough about tactics to keep myself as safe as possible in such situations. unquote

apparently not, as you keep seeking these types of situation(s) out.

I also believe you are thriving on this thread as it provides you with the stimulation you need to satisfy the little inner self...

I do not feel you have heard your wife's arguments or you have tuned out her concern for your well being and projected your own objections.

DaveT you are in for a rude 'zimmerman' style awakening if your keep up your current path and i do not believe your history will bode well within the judicial system when it catches up with you after you come to the aid of some citizen.

ipse

I agree. Something isn't quite right here, so I say: +100.


Unsubscribing, again.

 

[Grapeshot]

Self-defense takes many forms.